Patience

[backbreaker]

Without getting too much into my personal life, there is something I want, really, rely really really really badly, and it's not so much about an amount of money for something I want to buy, it's a goal i want to accomplish, very badly, and I am just at a point, where all I can do, is do my best everyday to get closer and closer everyday. No amount of money I can throw at it will make me get the any faster, and to be 100% honest, I've made it take longer than it should by trying to take short cuts.

So; now I am at a point, where I have to be patient. You know what? Patience fvcking sucks lol. I want this **** way worse than I have eve rwanted any woman in my life, including my wife honestly. Just telling the truth. I'm so fvcking close to this goal I can taste it, but yet so far that it's going to take a month... i don't even want to think about it possibly taking longer than a month to get there, that's how bad i want this goal. This is something I have worked on for the better part of 3 years now and I'm right here.

It made me think about this site. It's important to have goals, because goals transform you, it brings out qualities in you, builds character that you would not have otherwise had. Patience is somehting I had none of when I came here. I never intend to be here for more than 2-3 days once I got the answer to bed the girl that brought me here. Even when I realized that this wasn't going to happen that qucikly, I still looked for a quick fix.

Something I learned earlier on in life, is that anything worth while, takes time. And not just time, productive time. There is going to come a time with this thing here we have, that you will get shot down and want to quickly question the site and it's teachings and revert back to the quick fixes of old. That is not the answer and that separates the winners from the losers.

Right now it's tearing me up inside to think about me not having my goal. It really is. I bet it kills alot of you like it did me to see guys out there scoring with women while you are stuck here. The only thing you can do at this point is dedicate this day to get one step closer to being that guy that can have the women he wants on his terms. rather that be, going to the gym, rather that be becoming that much more comfortable talking to women, you have to put the work in and wait for the results.

 

[AAAgent]

i totally understand how you feel bb.

I am an Aries, not that it means anything but i'm also hot tempered and very impulsive. I lose interest in things very fast so i have all these far reaching goals that i always lose sight of. I also try to do very big flashy things or take very huge shortcuts that never ever work out. I rarely ever accomplished goals on my own without help. I always had coaches to guide me and force me in the right direction.

What made me see the light as i didn't listen anyone to do things the right way was i hit rock bottom. I had no help, no resources, i was depressed and needed money. The depression helped me keep calm. Being calm i was able to focus and outline everything i wanted to do first. Then i categorized all the things i needed to get done to get to my goal. One by one i did each thing. I would do as much of it as i could, and if i had an epiphany in another area i quickly wrote that down and then continued to finish each obstacle at a time. By the time i finished the majority of the work i had split up, the goal/end was near. I've never seen the end/goal before besides in sports. Being able to see a goal that was in a reachable distance was amazing. What made it more amazing was i kept going at it and i reached that goal. I went at my own pace, i stayed consistent, and most importantly i stayed CALM & FOCUSED. Being calm and not letting excitement or anything else like that get to me helped me maintain my focus.

I really want to learn to control my emotions better. I have learned to keep things manageable but i'm still always up and down with temper, happiness, excitement, etc. I also want to go live in a buddhist temple to do this as well and mainly learn Patience.

Patience is a great attribute.

 

[Bible_Belt]

The goal's gotta be owning a race horse, right? I could see you doing that.

 

[st_99]

i think patience is a byproduct of 'how bad do you want it'

There are some things that people feel so strongly about they can
never abandon that goal.

 

[backbreaker]

The goal's gotta be owning a race horse, right? I could see you doing that.

I actually already own 2, one is a broodmare and one is a filly weanling soon to be yearling. Though I'm probably going to sale the yearling. I had to take the yearling as a package deal, don't really want her wanted the broodmare.

I don't believe in buying yearlings at sales that I did not raise or I did not have a hand in raising even though it takes longer for them to get to the track. I know all too well the drugs and **** that goes on behind the scenes. though I might claim a horse or 2 this year just to get in the game, otherwise it will be at least 2 years before I have a horse actually running.

has nothing to do with money or something I can buy.

i think patience is a byproduct of 'how bad do you want it'

There are some things that people feel so strongly about they can
never abandon that goal.

this is very much true. I want it so bad, I have no choice but to adapt patience, because the only other alternative is to give up on my goal and that's not a viable option for me.

I think that is what seperates the "10% body fat" guys from the guys who just "go to the gym", and so on and so forth. and generally, there is a reason why you want something so bad. I know for me with this site in particular, I had come ot the conclusion that i was a failure with the opposite sex. there was no other way around it. I could not keep a relationship for more than 4-5 months if that, and the women grew to depsse me all of them, despite me "worshiping" them. I had no "3 year relationship" girl who was into me for a long period of time. I think the guys who get the most, who put the most into it, who are willing to strike out and keep trying are the guys who are in the worst situations when they came here.

A guy who; has had marginal success is kinda like the drug addict who is able to go months at a time without using, b ut then binges.someone tells him he has to go to AA, and he goes, but because he's not "as bad as everyone else" he will never fully commit. seen it all too oftejn. he has JUST ENOUGH control over the situation to think he can beat it, but not enough to where he can actually beat it. whereas the best turn around stories in AA are usually, more often than not the guy who has just had his ass completely whipped by the drug. he might not have lost everything (I didn't, knot even close actually, but I was TKO'ed by my drug of choice) to the point where there is no doubt in your mind, that you have less than 0% control over your life as it stands right now as long as the drug is in the picture.

 

[Atom Smasher]

BB, what I do in such cases is to find a way to quantify my progress.

I might make a chart or a spreadsheet that reflects my progress in a leveraged, amplfied way so I can see it.

Let's say a kid wants to save up $100. He's going to put away 50 cents every day. The wait can be unbearable. If he makes a chart, however, he can create it in 10 cent increments and get a fast-moving visual on his progress.

It might sound silly but it's a little Jedi mind trick I use on myself from time to time. Maybe it applies to your situation, maybe not. But I say always aim for tangible quantification when going for a goal.

 

[backbreaker]

BB, what I do in such cases is to find a way to quantify my progress.

I might make a chart or a spreadsheet that reflects my progress in a leveraged, amplfied way so I can see it.

Let's say a kid wants to save up $100. He's going to put away 50 cents every day. The wait can be unbearable. If he makes a chart, however, he can create it in 10 cent increments and get a fast-moving visual on his progress.

It might sound silly but it's a little Jedi mind trick I use on myself from time to time. Maybe it applies to your situation, maybe not. But I say always aim for tangible quantification when going for a goal.

I actually do something similar in general. about 4 years ago give or tkae I made what I still think is my best post on this forum, my 100 day checklist, that I still use today. every 100 days or so, I create a list of everything I want to do and I tell myself, if i bust my ass, i will have accomplished every thing on this list in 100 days. about 90% of the time I actually do.

On my current checklist i'm on day 81. If I do everything left on my list, I will mark it down to day 80. My day is revolved around the question if I am going to be able to check off a day or not. then I set a reward for myself if I hit all my goals in 100 days (at least the ones that in retrospect were viable, if I put a goal down, that was in hindsight was just 100% unrealistic, like my 1I will give myself a pass, like I had never been to baton rouge, and on my to do list was to go to see Tiger Stadium, the arky / lsu game. but my grandmother died the week before so I stayed in little rock. I'm not going to fault myself for that) I will buy myself something that i have want or do something I want for me. That way I can have my "toys" guilt free. I earned them. I shoudl definatly hit my goal in this round of 100 days.

 

[DonGorgon]

i idont have any cause while you are waiting she is Fing other men... FACT

 

[zekko]

I'm so fvcking close to this goal I can taste it, but yet so far that it's going to take a month... i don't even want to think about it possibly taking longer than a month to get there, that's how bad i want this goal. This is something I have worked on for the better part of 3 years now and I'm right here.

I have no idea what kind of goal you're talking about, but if it's something that important to you, one month doesn't sound like that bad of a wait to get it.