DinoCassanova
Senior Don Juan
What's your first impression of this scenario: There's a girl that works at a local store, she's only there on weekends. I'd seen her there a couple weeks ago and , although I felt instant turn-on going on, I still was being the guy I've been for the past ... FAR too long... and I didn't say or do a thing besides pay for whatever I bought silently and leave. I thought about her a few times in between then and this past Sunday, and I even went into the place a couple times checking to see if she was working. (No, I'm not a stalker, just looking) . And so anyway, this past Sunday, I go in there early in the morning, and finally she's there again. What did I do? I choked. Did nothing. In fact I went and got my car washed, and then I RETURNED to the place (with the definite intent of doing something) to buy some damn thing, I don't know, an air freshener for the car or something, and there were alot of other customers around, and so again I choked. I just paid and I left. Terrible! She probably didn't even notice I'd been there twice within like a half-hour or so. Terrible. I had that really weird feeling you get, you know? Heart pounding, adrenaline coursing, feeling a strong desire to act but also feeling paralyzed and choked. Really really nervous.
But this time I decided to do something about it. I wanted to break this self-rejecting self-defeating pattern in my life. I didn't want to go another couple weeks pathetically wondering if this girl's working there or not, or who she is, or whatever, and wondering what would happen if I said hi. So I decided to do something I haven't done in AGES: open her and give it a shot. I had to FORCE myself to act contrary to years of habit. I was tired of being the clammed-up guy and wasting my life away. But here's the thing, here's what I really wanted to get your guys' impression of; what I actually did was I went over to a local florist, and I bought a single pink rose (this past Sunday was the start of "Sweetest Week") . Remembering to deeply breathe, on the verge of panic because I haven't done this in so long, I drove BACK to this place where she works, WITH the rose all wrapped up in its ......rose paper. I parked and, lucky for me, there were no other customers inside at the time. (I am still too shy to do this in front of strangers I think). So I just flat-out stopped her on her way back to her register and I said Hi. I think I laughed and said something dumb like I'm back yet again. But no real opening line or anything. I just said I wanted to take a minute to introduce myself, just like that, and I said, Actually I brought you this (handed her the rose) , as you might or might not know today's the start of Sweetest Week so, this is just a little something I thought would be nice. I told her if she has a sweetest he should be doing stuff like this for her each day this week. She got red and her mouth dropped open ; she looked like she was wondering if she was on candid camera. I said, you're looking at me like I'm crazy. She said , No, this is SO sweet, it's just so unexpected. It's really different. I didn't neg her or anything like that, just a little playful banter, maybe a tad c&f with her. So anyway we chatted for about 15, 20 min's, and she says she's got a bf but it's "very long distance" and not going much of anywhere. She said there are no rings on her fingers and she's free to talk to other people. She asked me what was up with me, if/ why I was single. I assured her that I was. I got the impression she didn't or doesn't fully trust my motives. I may have come off as too "smooth" or something w/the rose, I don't know . She said, Tell me the truth, how many girls are you going to go give those out to today ?? She did tell me I seem like a player-type, after I asked her if that was what she was thinking. (If she only knew; despite whatever I may "look" like, I definitely have NOT been that type!!)
The upshot was I ended up having to give HER my cell # (VERY bad move, I know); a terribly soft close to the whole thing. But I didn't want to walk out with absolutely nothing, blow the whole thing, just because she was just flat-out uncomfortable giving her # out to a male stranger.
I can kind of understand that however as I have two younger sisters, and , frankly, if it were them I wouldn't want them to give theirs out to a guy they didn't know who'd just brought them a rose.
So anyway so far she hasn't called ; in general I don't really care. For me the greater victory was breaking the silence, so to speak. I felt 8 feet tall the rest of that day. I felt like I had a million dollars in my bank acct. I felt like a mute who had just found his voice. So, whether this chick calls or not is ultimately not of the utmost importance. I think I've found something more important. That is, some level of self-confidence once again and the ability to actually approach and speak to a stranger of the opposite sex once again. Anyway, advice on what I should have done differently w/the actual encounter itself? ~D
But this time I decided to do something about it. I wanted to break this self-rejecting self-defeating pattern in my life. I didn't want to go another couple weeks pathetically wondering if this girl's working there or not, or who she is, or whatever, and wondering what would happen if I said hi. So I decided to do something I haven't done in AGES: open her and give it a shot. I had to FORCE myself to act contrary to years of habit. I was tired of being the clammed-up guy and wasting my life away. But here's the thing, here's what I really wanted to get your guys' impression of; what I actually did was I went over to a local florist, and I bought a single pink rose (this past Sunday was the start of "Sweetest Week") . Remembering to deeply breathe, on the verge of panic because I haven't done this in so long, I drove BACK to this place where she works, WITH the rose all wrapped up in its ......rose paper. I parked and, lucky for me, there were no other customers inside at the time. (I am still too shy to do this in front of strangers I think). So I just flat-out stopped her on her way back to her register and I said Hi. I think I laughed and said something dumb like I'm back yet again. But no real opening line or anything. I just said I wanted to take a minute to introduce myself, just like that, and I said, Actually I brought you this (handed her the rose) , as you might or might not know today's the start of Sweetest Week so, this is just a little something I thought would be nice. I told her if she has a sweetest he should be doing stuff like this for her each day this week. She got red and her mouth dropped open ; she looked like she was wondering if she was on candid camera. I said, you're looking at me like I'm crazy. She said , No, this is SO sweet, it's just so unexpected. It's really different. I didn't neg her or anything like that, just a little playful banter, maybe a tad c&f with her. So anyway we chatted for about 15, 20 min's, and she says she's got a bf but it's "very long distance" and not going much of anywhere. She said there are no rings on her fingers and she's free to talk to other people. She asked me what was up with me, if/ why I was single. I assured her that I was. I got the impression she didn't or doesn't fully trust my motives. I may have come off as too "smooth" or something w/the rose, I don't know . She said, Tell me the truth, how many girls are you going to go give those out to today ?? She did tell me I seem like a player-type, after I asked her if that was what she was thinking. (If she only knew; despite whatever I may "look" like, I definitely have NOT been that type!!)
The upshot was I ended up having to give HER my cell # (VERY bad move, I know); a terribly soft close to the whole thing. But I didn't want to walk out with absolutely nothing, blow the whole thing, just because she was just flat-out uncomfortable giving her # out to a male stranger.
I can kind of understand that however as I have two younger sisters, and , frankly, if it were them I wouldn't want them to give theirs out to a guy they didn't know who'd just brought them a rose. So anyway so far she hasn't called ; in general I don't really care. For me the greater victory was breaking the silence, so to speak. I felt 8 feet tall the rest of that day. I felt like I had a million dollars in my bank acct. I felt like a mute who had just found his voice. So, whether this chick calls or not is ultimately not of the utmost importance. I think I've found something more important. That is, some level of self-confidence once again and the ability to actually approach and speak to a stranger of the opposite sex once again. Anyway, advice on what I should have done differently w/the actual encounter itself? ~D