Passive Oneitis, with nipples every two weeks

[Salacious D]

There's a girl I know that I consider a goddess.

Males I've spoken to look at her and say, "yeah, she's hot." But they never agree with me when I say that she is one-of-a-kind. One in six and a half billion. On so many levels this girl is attractive to me, socially she's nice, playful, funny, intellectually she's one of the smartest people I've met, physically she has large breasts among other things of course and wears shirts that allow me to see her nipples at least once every two weeks.

Quite the pedestal, huh? She's been swallowed by heaven.

Here's the thing. Although I sound like your average acne ridden male freshman who sits in the back and scratches his crotch all day while staring at the girl, M, this is not the case. I'm a junior

I don't follow her around, I've never bought her a gift and I hardly if ever speak to her. Although I find it challenging to concentrate if she's sitting across the room from me first period I don't think I stare at her that much. Other than thinking these inner thoughts, the only thing here that makes me an AFC is that she KNOWS that I feel she's a goddess. A few months ago I had my divine revelation and proceeded to tell all of my friends, so inevitably it got around, she even mentioned it to me at an outting and laughed WITH ME about it.

A brief conversation I had with her about a week ago--

She walked into a mostly empty classroom, where I was finishing up a test alone.
M: "Good morning."
SD: "Good morning, how are you?"
M: "Fine, how are you?"
SD: "Good." I smile. "Better now."
She smiles and laughs.

So, anyway, the point of all this, the reason for posting this is that I don't think all forms of afcness are necessarily bad or detrimental. I'm not going to ask this girl out. I'm not going to spend my days pondering the details of our wedding three years from now. I think of girls that are actually interested in me and what I plan on doing about them. I don't take the whole thing seriously, this is my point I guess, so in a sense this is passive afcness. I'm in love with the girl but it's a joke, she knows it and I know it. It'll either blow over sooner or later and I'll look her up in ten years* or we'll just have wild sex and get it over with. There are no in betweens.

It's the rare Passive Oneitis (PO), as opposed to Aggressive Oneitis (AO), where the boy or girl will labor through various disney-esque means to get their love in bed. Always unsuccesfully. Passive means that you feel that the girl is the girl of your dreams, but you're realistic, you know that you're insane so you don't really care about it that much. You tell her friends, you even mention it to her face because you don't care. I don't know about the bed success rate (BSR) with PO but I doubt it's much better than with AO.

So there you have it. If you're going to have oneitis, even as a DJ with ten ****buddies, you might as well have it passively.

*a theory that cannot be proven that I have formulated, that the one girl or the few girls that you've ever wanted but haven't been able to get for one reason or another will bump into you ten years after you last see them. You'll go to a coffee shop, catch up on each other, go back to your apartment with her and have wild passionate sex for two weeks straight and then never see her again. If a girl rejects you and you still want her, this is probably the only way you're going to get her into bed.

 

[Viper423]

Wow, this situation seems all too familiar with me. I have PO with this one girl she knows it. She doesn't have as strong of feelings for me as I do for her, and we both know it and have acknowledged (sp?) it. But I have managed to make out with her, mess around, finger...you name it, and have fvcked her once. Although there is a down side to this, and you should be aware of it. After we had sex, she regreted it, and told me that she doesn't want to mess around anymore because she thinks it will make me "like her too much" and she doesn't want to get in a relationship before college and have to break it off. Since then, about 3 weeks ago, we have barely talked at all. She used to call me religiously everynight and she hasn't called but maybe twice since then and barely talked long at all.

 

[Microphone Fiend]

...sigh. There is no such thing as this "passive one-itis" bullsh!t. You either got it or you don't, and you got it. As much as I hate to say it, I have it too. It is because we are too afraid to make a move, and it shows.

I think of girls that are actually interested in me and what I plan on doing about them.

See you don't go for girls you are attracted to, only those attracted to you. You are reacting to girl's instead of acting on them. They have all the control.

The biggest problem here is YOU ARE TOO AFRAID TO MAKE A MOVE. Read EZ-rider's post called "My Success Story (long)" (sp?)
He never approaches chicks and never gets any play, but then one chick he is forced to bond with cuz they sit next to each other and he works his magic and nabs her

Answer me this... did the chick ever reject you or did she not go crazy when she heard a rumour about you liking her? GET AN OUTRIGHT REJECTING.... STOP PROCRASTINATING

 

[Pex]

I unfortunately have this too. There's this hb9 that I've known for a while, and for some reason i just feel better not making a move on her, having her as a sort of model of my ideal chick. It's weird, it's sad but I just can't make a move on this girl.

 

[SnatchJP]

IMO making a move on said girls will be much harder than it ever will be making one a girl whos twice as attractive who you meet on the street. Getting a rejection actually doesn't usually cure the problem. It can help in ways, but once you get rejected, you won't magically stop being interested. In fact, your interest level will probably be bumped up a notch temporarily because now she's something you can't have. (Remember we guys go for this just as much as girls do). It wil help in the long run when you're trying to defeat it logically since you'll now have roof" that your chances are nill but still, sometimes its just not worth it.

So in the end it's your call. If it's hurting your game with other ladies, then it definetly needs attention. Otherwise, do what you want.

 

[Cloud-uk]

heh heh, this is embarrising. Why don't you just admit that you are totally rinsed by this girl? She's just another human being! Christ- you do read stuff here don't you? She's just another girl! You need to sort this out. Imagine her taking a dump or something- but I assure you she hasn't just fallen out of heaven.

Grab your balls and ask her out sometime.

Or are you above basic DJ principles now?

 

[Brazilian_Blues_Boy]

Originally posted by Salacious D
There's a girl I know that I consider a goddess.
Who doesn't ?

Males I've spoken to look at her and say, "yeah, she's hot." But they never agree with me when I say that she is one-of-a-kind. One in six and a half billion. On so many levels this girl is attractive to me, socially she's nice, playful, funny, intellectually she's one of the smartest people I've met, physically she has large breasts among other things of course and wears shirts that allow me to see her nipples at least once every two weeks.

10 for you, 5 for me, 11 for someone else! When we like something a lot we tend to try to "evangelize" everyone into our belief. That's all right.

You may find her funny,playful and blah blah but someone might just hate her. Once again, PERCEPTIONS.
You're getting blinded by your own.

Quite the pedestal, huh? She's been swallowed by heaven. Yup.

Here's the thing. Although I sound like your average acne ridden male freshman who sits in the back and scratches his crotch all day while staring at the girl, M, this is not the case. I'm a junior

I don't follow her around, I've never bought her a gift and I hardly if ever speak to her. Although I find it challenging to concentrate if she's sitting across the room from me first period I don't think I stare at her that much. Other than thinking these inner thoughts, the only thing here that makes me an AFC is that she KNOWS that I feel she's a goddess. A few months ago I had my divine revelation and proceeded to tell all of my friends, so inevitably it got around, she even mentioned it to me at an outting and laughed WITH ME about it.

To be honest with you, is even worse that you don't speak to her.
She's on your mind 24/7... that's the worse thing that could ever happen. The difference between a DJ and a normal guy is in his mindset right??? And yours is infected!

Telling people doesn't help. They'll probably screw you. And flattering the chick with your compliments will end up digging your own grave.
She's supposed to be unsure about how you feel towards her, RIGHT?

A brief conversation I had with her about a week ago--

She walked into a mostly empty classroom, where I was finishing up a test alone.
M: "Good morning."
SD: "Good morning, how are you?"
M: "Fine, how are you?"
SD: "Good." I smile. "Better now."
She smiles and laughs.

WTF? In 4th grade this was cool... you're a man now for christ's sake!

So, anyway, the point of all this, the reason for posting this is that I don't think all forms of afcness are necessarily bad or detrimental. I'm not going to ask this girl out. I'm not going to spend my days pondering the details of our wedding three years from now. I think of girls that are actually interested in me and what I plan on doing about them. I don't take the whole thing seriously, this is my point I guess, so in a sense this is passive afcness. I'm in love with the girl but it's a joke, she knows it and I know it. It'll either blow over sooner or later and I'll look her up in ten years* or we'll just have wild sex and get it over with. There are no in betweens.

Why? Why won't you try? Afraid of being rejected? Or even worse, afraid of succeeding?
I'm sorry, but in ten years you won't find her, and even if you do you won't screw her. That's bullsh!t from cheap movies.

It's the rare Passive Oneitis (PO), as opposed to Aggressive Oneitis (AO), where the boy or girl will labor through various disney-esque means to get their love in bed. Always unsuccesfully. Passive means that you feel that the girl is the girl of your dreams, but you're realistic, you know that you're insane so you don't really care about it that much. You tell her friends, you even mention it to her face because you don't care. I don't know about the bed success rate (BSR) with PO but I doubt it's much better than with AO.

So there you have it. If you're going to have oneitis, even as a DJ with ten ****buddies, you might as well have it passively.

No, it is called being a pu$$y. Why don't you grab your balls and aske her out? Are you afraid that she says no and other people will mock you? Seriously, people mock those who go around telling that they're in love with this perfect chick blah blah.

Go ahead and be a f*cking man. In my hs years I tried to get the hottest chick from school. Everybody envied me. But I didn't give a sh!t. And mostly, I did not get her because I was a pu$$y in my freshman year. So, listen to this guy, who's been there and done that.

Ask her out, try to kiss her at parties or whatever. Ask her to go to the movies... It's against the "action dates" principle but if she agrees she's expecting you to kiss here. At least this is how it works here.

End up like the guy who tried 10 times to get her but didn't. Not like the guys who asks the guy above for pictures of her so he can masturbate to them.

BBB

 

[Pex]

Cloud-uk where in the uk are u from?

 

[MetalFortress]

Sal, think it through. Passive oneitis is WORSE. Not only do you practically worship her, but you dont even have the stones to make a move. Oneitis is only okay if she has an even BIGGER oneitis on you, and you guys are married or something. Passive oneitis is never OK. If she laughs at the fact that you like her, she obviously doesn't respect you, and I'd bet 99 to 1 that she's laughing at you behind the scenes.

I used to have passive oneitis just like you so I am speaking from EXPERIENCE, except at the time I didn't even have the stones to tell her I liked her. Now I look at her, and think "What the HELL did I see in her?" I barely even knew her well, yet I could still probably make a list of about 50 things I want in a woman and find some way to fit her into all of them.

 

[Salacious D]

Sal, think it through...

Okay, there's a bit of the story I left out.

Firstly I do get plenty of attention from girls, but I am still clearly learning. I do believe this girl, M, is hot but I do not think about her all the time, it's really just when I'm bored in a class with her or when I'm really bored somewhere else. Even then it is rarely a serious problem. I have many other prospects, hers is the least serious and as you'll learn in the next paragraph, the least likely to succeed.

A year ago I had a thing for her, I was a moron so I asked for her phone number through a note at a writing class we were taking after school from six to nine (ughh...that's too late to be at school...). Anyway I was denied. While I'd like to ask her out I don't think it's going to happen because I've already been rejected by her, even if it was a long time ago. It didn't hit me that hard then, it actually felt better for me when it was all over, as rejections generally do.

Telling people doesn't help. They'll probably screw you.

I agree with you, absolutely. Never tell anyone about your real plans, plans for the girls you're actually interested in. Ever. It is not worth the risk. Don't tell anyone. But as I've said, I don't take this whole thing very seriously because I was already rejected and because she is not the only prospect I have, but merely one of many.

WTF? In 4th grade this was cool... you're a man now for christ's sake!

I think I made it clear to her, through one of her friends (heh..) that I had no interest in asking her out. Two of my friends and myself went to dinner with this girl for fun and on the walk back she came up to me and said, "So, Salacious D, when are you going to ask M out?" I laughed at her and replied "never!" While I'd love to sleep with M I don't seriously consider the prospect ever happening in the near future.

Why? Why won't you try? Afraid of being rejected? Or even worse, afraid of succeeding?

One of the first things I learned here is that if a girl rejects you once she's probably going to reject you again later on so it's no use trying after the first and only failure. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.

I'm sorry, but in ten years you won't find her, and even if you do you won't screw her. That's bullsh!t from cheap movies.

We'll just have to wait and see. Neither side of the issue can be succinctly proven.

End up like the guy who tried 10 times to get her but didn't.

In spite of the new information I've provided, do you feel that I should go for her again? Give me some reasons if you. She knows from her friends that I think she's hot but she also knows that I am uninterested in going for her.

Or are you above basic DJ principles now?

Not everything in the Bible works for everyone.

So in the end it's your call. If it's hurting your game with other ladies, then it definetly needs attention. Otherwise, do what you want.

It doesn't seem to be at all. Their group, which is the only clique in my school that I can think of, is completely unconnected to the girls I'm interested in and the girls that are interested in me.

I unfortunately have this too. There's this hb9 that I've known for a while, and for some reason i just feel better not making a move on her, having her as a sort of model of my ideal chick. It's weird, it's sad but I just can't make a move on this girl.

Sorry my friend, we are not in the same boat. While you are not in a great position, yours is better than mine because at the very least you haven't been rejected yet.

See you don't go for girls you are attracted to, only those attracted to you. You are reacting to girl's instead of acting on them. They have all the control.

The girl I can think of that has the biggest crush on me does so because one day I decided to come over to her and chat her up for a bit. I decided that she's too young for me, though. After tickling a different girl to the point of her being hysterical I believe that she was attracted to me, but because of thanksgiving vacation I was unable to see her at all. Getting her phone number is also something of an issue because she's great friends with my best male friend, they had a fling awhile ago but are now just close friends. The male friend, I should mention, has a girlfriend of five or six months that he is in love with.

But I have managed to make out with her, mess around, finger...you name it, and have fvcked her once.

Better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all...

I forget whose quote that is.

 

[MetalFortress]

I stopped paying attention at "this girl is a goddess"

 

[Salacious D]

How come you ignore godess the first time but not the second?

 

[MetalFortress]

Originally posted by Salacious D
How come you ignore godess the first time but not the second?

Because I thought you would learn the first time.

 

[Salacious D]

Check the post again.

 

[MetalFortress]

"Not everything in the Bible works for everyone."

Is your lack of the basic principles working for you?

 

[Salacious D]

Yes, and it works for others as well.

 

[MetalFortress]

Originally posted by Salacious D
Yes, and it works for others as well.

If it was working for you this thread wouldn't BE here... and it works for others because they are natural men, not feminized AFC's.

 

[Salacious D]

I didn't create this thread as a means of helping me get with this girl. I created it to talk about what I termed passive oneitis, using her as an example, the only one I can think of from my life. I do not have a pressing urge to get with this girl, and I am not frustrated by her lack of interest in me at all. I simply don't care.

And, now that you mention it, several prominent examples of succesful males I can think of are actually quite femenine. In many ways they go against the basic principles of this website, and regardless of this fact they get girls. Therefore, you don't have to follow what is written here to the letter to get some poontang.

 

[Microphone Fiend]

All you need is motivation I think. If you call the girl a "goddess" and you are "in love with her" it is clear you wanna be with her.

As for going after the girl again, If you think you got a chance go for it. You decide what is appropriate

As for the whole metrosexual thing, if you think you can get more play being gay, then knock yourself out (and get knocked out by some guy who thinks you threaten his sexuality)

Once you know the rules you can bend them, but I wouldn't reccomend it beforehand. You don't have to live and die by the bible, but if you are still having one-itis it would be a good idea to stick with it for now.

The girl I can think of that has the biggest crush on me does so because one day I decided to come over to her and chat her up for a bit. I decided that she's too young for me, though. After tickling a different girl to the point of her being hysterical I believe that she was attracted to me, but because of thanksgiving vacation I was unable to see her at all. Getting her phone number is also something of an issue because she's great friends with my best male friend, they had a fling awhile ago but are now just close friends. The male friend, I should mention, has a girlfriend of five or six months that he is in love with.

Do you like her because she likes you? I thought she was too young for you? Regardless this is yet another area where you DIDN'T MAKE A MOVE. If ya boy's got a new gf he's in love with, ask him if it's cool and make a move.

 

[Salacious D]

Yet another long post

All you need is motivation I think. If you call the girl a "goddess" and you are "in love with her" it is clear you wanna be with her.

I'm not in love with her. I hardly know the girl. The only thing I do know is that there is a great deal of interesting material beneath that skull of hers, it's one of the primary reasons I'm so attracted to her. All of her friends are as hot or hotter than she is, but they just don't seem to have as much depth as she does. It's been my experience that there is something more to everyone, even the most dull, trend following ditz, but I've read some of her writing at that class I mentioned (it was basically a sharing class, bring something in for others to critique) and barely scratched the surface of her mind. There is more!

As for going after the girl again, If you think you got a chance go for it. You decide what is appropriate

Yup. That's what it all comes down to, that's why these advice posts aren't always so effective. There's always more to a story than what can be written in a High School forum. I don't think I have a chance.

s for the whole metrosexual thing, if you think you can get more play being gay, then knock yourself out (and get knocked out by some guy who thinks you threaten his sexuality)

No no no, they aren't goddamn metrosexuals! They're just femenine, that's all.

Once you know the rules you can bend them, but I wouldn't reccomend it beforehand. You don't have to live and die by the bible, but if you are still having one-itis it would be a good idea to stick with it for now.

I agree, but like I keep saying, it isn't a serious thing. I don't take it that seriously. I don't kiss the ground this girl walks on. She actually chose to sit right near me today in class but for some reason there was coffee splooged all over the table next to her. I decided that the coffee wasn't for me, I just said eew, and then she proceeded to tell me out of the blue that she smelled like chlorine because her hot tub overflowed or something. I chose to sit one seat away from her. It may have been an isolated incident, I'm overanalyzing, but if she seemingly deliberately sits near me again I'll have no choice but to find out if she's ticklish or not.

Do you like her because she likes you?

Mostly, yeah. She's got a really hot friend the same age that's a crazy mormon...I tried to get her phone number a few months ago but she gave me a fake one because she's in love with some dude that lives in New York. She wants to marry him in seven goddamn years but that isn't going to happen...

Where was I...yeah, the girls aren't nearly as appealing to me if I know for sure that they're into me. I've had chances before to go all the way, but because I saw that I had the ability to do so I chickened out. Even M would be a tenth as hot as she is now if I knew that she was into me...then again...what is a tenth of infinity, except infinity?

If ya boy's got a new gf he's in love with, ask him if it's cool and make a move.

I'm going to wind up talking to him about it sooner or later I think. It's a good idea to consult him first...because, even though they aren't in a physical relationship, they're about as close as they can get without being in one.