"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Party in her pants - The Story of NYC Dude and why looks aren't everything

NYC Dude

Master Don Juan
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First, a question: Are you happy with your life? I don't mean content with your situation, I mean full-blown loving of who you are and your place in the world right now. This is possibly one of the most important things to keep in mind, whether you are trying to improve yourself or trying to get on in life. Before we get onto the main point, let me tell you a little story about myself.

I started coming to this site back in 2002, when I was still in junior high school and had serious oneitis for a girl I had been friends with for a few years. I had had only one girlfriend before that, and I didn't kiss her once, even when she invited me INTO HER BEDROOM, UNDER HER COVERS. I was a serious AFC. Now, as the year went on I started to apply the DJ principles to my life, and things improved. I redid my wardrobe, cut my mushroom-cut hair, started hitting light weights. I did not become a buff lady seducer, but I made myself happy and worked over that oneitis. It also had me ready for High School.

Freshman year was a transitional period, I was getting used to a harder workload, and the school was at least 10 times as large as my junior high school. I stopped visiting these forums for a bit, forgot about what I had learned, and ended the year still with no experience with girls. The beginning of sophomore year was more of the same, and finally, frustrated, I found this site again at the beginning of the second term. I started improving myself again, and went at it until I was proud of who I was. Before I knew it got myself a girlfriend. That was the biggest confidence booster I've ever had, knowing that things were possible. Long story short, I got that needed experience in kissing and got sucked off to boot.

Fast-forward to this spring. I bag myself another girl, and lose my virginity to her. And for once in my life, when I got bored with her, I DUMPED HER. I did what was right for me, and I continued on with my life. That was about two weeks ago, and just last weekend I had a date with a new girl. GUess what? Her parents are out of town and she invited me over to her place for a "party" tommorow. I think we all know where that is going.

Now back to the point. You may be saying, "But NYC Dude, you've been coming to this forum for years now, no wonder you doing well now." Sorry my friend, but that is not the case. You see, Even though I have been visiting this site for a while I was never truly successful until I realized one thing: that I come before any girl. Once I started feeling good about MYSELF, I started getting RESULTS. If that is not good enough for you, let me put it this way: I am 6 feet tall and weigh only 137 pounds. I have braces. I have an alright face, but my hair is thick and coarse, and cannot be styled at all. I am also on medication for my lungs, which both makes me weak and prohibits me from drinking. Yet through all this, I have learned to LOVE MYSELF. Though I constantly strive to improve myself, I am still happy with who I am at this moment.

The thing is, girls always talk about how "that guy over there looks so hot." And yes, they approach those same guys with the intent to get banged by them. You're probably thinking you have no chance, right? Wrong. You see, past that first sight, when they get to know you, if they can tell that you ENJOY life, they know that they will ENJOY being with you. You can try to fake this love, but why do that when it can be real. If you do not enjoy your life now, you will not be able to change that overnight. It will take time, and effort, to create a new you that you are proud to be. But once that time comes, I guarantee you that you will be successful not only with women, but with all of life as well.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Void

Master Don Juan
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more people should read this. especially now that i feel good that im not the first person who came here in Junior High.

Rock on man! :cheer:
 

NYC Dude

Master Don Juan
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A short update about what happened at that girl's house yesterday. Things started off slow, but when we finally made it to her bedroom for some initmate time together, I confirmed my suspicions from the first date that, well, she sucks at kissing. Besides that, she was way too protective of herself, keeping the goods out of reach at almost all times. Well **** that, that is not enjoyable for me, so that girl is NEXTed. No more desperate boy trying to get whatever comes his way, that boy is long gone.
 

TheNewGuy

Master Don Juan
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Nice post, i'm bookmarking it. Your approach on life is great, us optimists have it made :cool:
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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True Wolf

Don Juan
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May 28, 2005
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Good post, i came here in junior high as well. I just got a double dose of rejection and did a google search, found this place and was loaded with the fuel to better myself.

As for loving yourself, that is key. You wont succeed till you can love yourself.
 

NYC Dude

Master Don Juan
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Whoa, you remembered that I go to Stuy, that makes me feel special. I'm going into senior year, and I'm pumped. Not only is it senior year, but I'm finally off a medication I had to take for a year, I'm getting my braces off in less than a month, and well, that's all really, but I'm still feeling good. Can't wait to get out of here too, find some women that look and act like what women should be.
 

floydtheater07

Don Juan
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Aug 15, 2005
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Hey man, great post, I really related to it a lot. I used to be the kid who had no confidence whatsoever. But I finally became an optimist and got into a serious relationship with a girl who is easily a 10 in my book. This girl loves good-looking guys, and I am at best an average skinny-white boy, but knowing that I could do it just helped a lot.


Good work man, keep it up.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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