"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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# partners honesty vs. avoidance

MacAvoy

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I have this tendency to enter LTR's with goody two shoe type women, high morals, religious etc.... A common problem is my past and sexual partners. Its been a problem because of my belief in honesty.

Currently I've started talkin to an ex, who knows my past, and it was a problem in the past and a factor in our breakup to a degree.

(She was jealous of my cousin one night, we broke up, I was pissed off, so the next weekend, I slept with some other broad, told her the truth, because of that incident, she didn't want to work things out, but she would of, if I didn't run into someone else's arms right away)

So now that we are talking, my past has gotten even more colorful since. I've been with a few more strippers and a handful or two of escorts. I truly believe in honesty with someone that may be a potential life partner. However, should I try avoid the subject for now until I can build some attraction before the bomb hits?

What would my fellow mature DJ's do, considering I would be interested in settling down with this one.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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iveyleeger

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Don't settle down with a stripper, they'll be taking it all off for another guy before you know it :)
 

MacAvoy

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Originally posted by iveyleeger
Don't settle down with a stripper, they'll be taking it all off for another guy before you know it :)
Thought this was the mature man forum, where does it say anything about settling down with a stripper? She is the opposite.
 

DrDope

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Your past should remain clouded in mystery.

Don't get into any of these conversations. Learn how to be coy.
 

iqqi

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Originally posted by MacAvoy
So now that we are talking, my past has gotten even more colorful since. I've been with a few more strippers and a handful or two of escorts. I truly believe in honesty with someone that may be a potential life partner.
Seems like you answered your own question here. If I were her, and you did that to me again (decieved me by not telling me whats really been up) I would be heartbroken. Because I would have thought you to be someone else, when really you are someone who would sleep with escorts and strippers. Sorry, hate to do this to the ego, but... ugghh!:down:
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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Originally posted by MacAvoy
...So now that we are talking, my past has gotten even more colorful since. I've been with a few more strippers and a handful or two of escorts. I truly believe in honesty with someone that may be a potential life partner. However, should I try avoid the subject for now until I can build some attraction before the bomb hits?
Is it truly honesty or do you feel guilty when you get together with a woman who is more chaste in comparison and you feel compelled to cleanse yourself through confession?

Just something to consider....
 

Kaine

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Be mysterious about your past, but don't be apologetic for your desires as a man. Not all things need to be said.

You can be ****y and funny about it and not give her a direct answer.

Or you can perhaps give her a challenging answer, "You know I've always played around, but I'm always hoping that the next one I meet will be the one" Or some fluffy candy like that.

In your case with the ex, you were already broken up. Do what you damn well like and don't be apologetic about it. When it's over it's over and you move on. If she broke it off with you first with an expectation of reconciliation then she was testing you. If you had stood up for yourself and not been apologetic perhaps you would've still be together.


Kaine
 

MacAvoy

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Re: Re: # partners honesty vs. avoidance

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
Is it truly honesty or do you feel guilty when you get together with a woman who is more chaste in comparison and you feel compelled to cleanse yourself through confession?

Just something to consider....
Hmmm, I like the way you think, I'll have to ponder that and get back to yall.
 

scordate

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ohhhh the mystery of the past !

women are funny ! (duh)

i have read so many online personals where women have stated: want man who dont talk about his latest breakup / his ex'es

but when SHE does the asking, she will demand to know, right ? ;-)

my line is always; i am starting from day one with you and my past is really not relevant to our dating nor am I interested in your past

the past is just the past; the present and the future are so much more important

later on you can open up at own will, but never on HER will; never. ever

/ scordate
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Re: Re: Re: # partners honesty vs. avoidance

Originally posted by MacAvoy
Hmmm, I like the way you think, I'll have to ponder that and get back to yall.
I was hoping that you'd feel it would be worth considering. There's always more than one way to perceive things. Maybe it will pose even more considerations for 'ya.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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FratAndDiddy

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are you feeling guilty?
if you must get something from your chest, tell a good friend or dump on a priest
 
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