Parties? Alcohol?

[Voice]

I remember about 6 months back, I never even went to a high school party and always felt like I was missing out when my friends would come back with stories. I always thought once I actually went to one my social life would completely turn around and I would suddenly become a happy confident person like them. After forcing myself to a few parties I discovered they are not all that great. All that talk I missed out on about peoples Friday nights wasn't even worth it. Most of the people there I realized I didn't even like, especially some of the popular girls. I've grown to not even like alcohol that much. It didn't hide the fact that I was pathetic with girls, nor did it make me happy. The only time I did have fun when I was drunk was with the guys. The worst feeling was the morning after I was drunk. No it wasn't the hang over, it was this deep depressing feeling like I was empty and I couldn't fill the hole. Now I'm at the point where I don't even enjoy myself at parties, they are nothing special.

Anyway, I'm going away to Rutgers this Fall and I know there will be parties all the time and alcohol all over the place. I'm just wondering if I'm the only one who doesn't even enjoy parties anymore. Am I just depressed or do I seriously need to bang some drunk college chicks next year to get over it?

 

[KingBeef]

I remember about 6 months back, I never even went to a high school party and always felt like I was missing out when my friends would come back with stories. I always thought once I actually went to one my social life would completely turn around and I would suddenly become a happy confident person like them. After forcing myself to a few parties I discovered they are not all that great. All that talk I missed out on about peoples Friday nights wasn't even worth it. Most of the people there I realized I didn't even like, especially some of the popular girls. I've grown to not even like alcohol that much. It didn't hide the fact that I was pathetic with girls, nor did it make me happy. The only time I did have fun when I was drunk was with the guys. The worst feeling was the morning after I was drunk. No it wasn't the hang over, it was this deep depressing feeling like I was empty and I couldn't fill the hole. Now I'm at the point where I don't even enjoy myself at parties, they are nothing special.

Anyway, I'm going away to Rutgers this Fall and I know there will be parties all the time and alcohol all over the place. I'm just wondering if I'm the only one who doesn't even enjoy parties anymore. Am I just depressed or do I seriously need to bang some drunk college chicks next year to get over it?

If there is one major regret that i have when i was in my youth is that I DIDN'T PARTY ENOUGH!!!!! Just as long as you work hard, study, get good grades and have your priorities straightened out....YOU ARE ENTITLED TO HAVE AS MUCH FUN AS POSSIBLE, DON'T EVER PUT YOURSELF DOWN.

 

[Snakk3]

sometimes we need to find the way we enjoy parties.
you can say that there is different kind of parties: the sound, the people, the spirit, and the purpose can be different. some parties are more to socialize, others to bang girls, others to take drugs etc etc or all at the same time.

i can say that to enjoy a good party i need some damn good music (its gold for me), people with good spirit (people that f*ck**g want to party) and alcohol. are like essentials to me to consider it a very good party.

sometimes it depends of my spirit, sometimes i just want to sit, relax and talk to people.

one of the funniest things to do at parties is to talk to everyone you want to. and since i started reading this forum (just a week ago, i know) i started to feel more confident and talk to more people. and damn!, Portuguese people are great to do this


just tune yourself to it, socialize.

 

[Voice]

one of the funniest things to do at parties is to talk to everyone you want to. and since i started reading this forum (just a week ago, i know) i started to feel more confident and talk to more people. and damn!

Man, I can't bring myself to do this. Conversations are always so hard for me. I can't seem to let go and relax. I'm always so uptight. I can be really funny and it kills me when I can't bring my humor out. It's really frustrating when I have no control over how I'm going to react to things.

 

[Axcell]

Man, I can't bring myself to do this. Conversations are always so hard for me. I can't seem to let go and relax. I'm always so uptight. I can be really funny and it kills me when I can't bring my humor out. It's really frustrating when I have no control over how I'm going to react to things.

The only way you'll learn to get over that phobia of yours is with practice. Do some cold approaches, you'll loose a lot of the anxiety and you'll realize that will become less and less uptight.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

You need a more positive attitude and mindset when going to parties. Just enjoy everyone and have some fun.

 

[Maeisgood]

Pregame.

Pregaming is pumping up and getting into a good mood for a party. For me, it isn't justing getting drunk ahead of time, its loosening up. What I do is drink caffeine to get energetic and in a good mood. I also listen to my favorite music that gets me really pumped up. Surround yourself with things that put you in a good mood, then go out. Have things to talk about. Be informed about news, sports, celebs, even if you aren't interested. When talking to anyone, the most interesting thing is themselves. Orginally, the point of alcohol at parties was to be social lubricant, but recent generations take it too far. Maybe you need to party with different people. You'll eventually meet people. I never felt popular until I started partying because I had nothing in common with people. Once I realized how much fun parties are, I noticed I had something in common with people and could relate more to them.

 

[Voice]

Pregame.

Pregaming is pumping up and getting into a good mood for a party. For me, it isn't justing getting drunk ahead of time, its loosening up. What I do is drink caffeine to get energetic and in a good mood. I also listen to my favorite music that gets me really pumped up. Surround yourself with things that put you in a good mood, then go out. Have things to talk about. Be informed about news, sports, celebs, even if you aren't interested. When talking to anyone, the most interesting thing is themselves. Orginally, the point of alcohol at parties was to be social lubricant, but recent generations take it too far. Maybe you need to party with different people. You'll eventually meet people. I never felt popular until I started partying because I had nothing in common with people. Once I realized how much fun parties are, I noticed I had something in common with people and could relate more to them.

Yea that's great advice, thanks.

The hardest part with these parties I go to is they mostly involve the same people: the popular kids from my class. They've all been friends for so long and I'm really just starting to come into their group. I feel like I'm on the fringes of the group. I'm cool with most of the guys but I'm not exactly 'friends' with all the girls. I cringe when a girl comes in all excited hugging the guys around me and then she doesn't know what to do when she gets to me. The girls I know are happy I'm there but I feel like a lot of the others girls don't want me there or something. There are younger girls that think I'm hot, but my friends always want to hang out with the same people.

 

[SinJester]

Look I have some pretty big opinions and advice about the topic because I'm pretty passionate about partys, but first I want you to answer some questions.

Why do you not enjoy parties? Go deep with this one.
Why don't you like the people there? Why don't you like the popular girls?
Why do you find conversations so hard?
Why don't you like alcahol?
Why aren't you good with girls?

A lot of time people ask for advice but they just need to go deeper with themselves. If you get an answer to a question, ask why you got that answer.

I cringe when a girl comes in all excited hugging the guys around me and then she doesn't know what to do when she gets to me.

It is partly because you feel that way that she does. If you simply lighten up get excited and hug her she will feel the same way and wont mind. A lot of what you think is going on, you can easily look a different way at it and turn it around.

 

[War Against Betaism]

I thought that if I started going to the club with the knowledge I had about seduction that I would automatically change. Well I still have anxiety trying to approach girls to dance (it almost always turns up in a rejection). You just have to know people. Picture this, you start going to the local park to play basketball. Do you automatically assume you're going to be good and people are going to openly welcome you? It takes time. Same with parties. You'll eventually start seeing the same people and then you'll eventually meet them, get closer, etc.

 

[Voice]

Why do you not enjoy parties? Go deep with this one.

It's not like I don't enjoy parties. I've been to some great bangers along the way and had fun with people I know. It's just the fact that I have a real hard time opening up to new people. I mean my goal was to meet new people and become cool with them at these parties, but my social anxiety has really prevented me from doing this. I try hard sometimes to open up, but something prevents me from being myself. Deep down I have a strong desire to be accepted by everyone and I'm really just insecure.

Why don't you like the people there? Why don't you like the popular girls?

It's not like I don't like the people there, its just that I used to put a lot of them on pedestals and then realized at these parties that some of them are just spoiled and stuck up, especially some of the popular girls.

Why do you find conversations so hard?

Come to think of it, I never really have conversations with people. I even ignore my parents a lot when they try to talk to me. My whole family doesn't talk much. It's just something that doesn't come natural to me. Besides that, I always get real nervous when I am talking to people. I guess its part of my social anxiety.

Why don't you like alcahol?

Alcohol is ok. I think its overrated as a social drug. It does take away some anxiety but it also makes me act like a frickin idiot (which can be fun at times). It doesn't make meeting girls any easier.

Why aren't you good with girls?

Honestly I have very little confidence, am insecure and I have no control over my anxiety.

 

[playa99]

Man, I can't bring myself to do this. Conversations are always so hard for me. I can't seem to let go and relax. I'm always so uptight. I can be really funny and it kills me when I can't bring my humor out. It's really frustrating when I have no control over how I'm going to react to things.

this is why you arent enjoying the parties man.
Force yourself out of your comfort zone, yes sounds horrible but it will bring you a sh1t load of confidence in the long run
No one said improving yourself was easy
So go out talk to someone, take a chance, seize your bollocks and force yourself to go and talk to that HB10 in the corner.
You control your own life
Become who you want to be
Talk to people
Relax its not the end of the world if you get rejected
REJECTION IS BETTER THAN REGRET
if you become less uptight people will feel more comfortable in your presence and gravitate towards you
so get out their and just talk
you only have to take baby steps
one must crawl before they walk and walk before they run
then anything within reason will be within your comfort zone
and you will enjoy yourself as you arent uptight

 

[Voice]

Yea thanks for the advice its deeply appreciated. For now on I'm going to focus of being in a good mood and just have fun. Hopefully I can soon get over my inhibitions and be able to be myself again. I'm sure it will be painful at first, but I got to do it.

 

[guywhoneedshelp]

I remember about 6 months back, I never even went to a high school party and always felt like I was missing out when my friends would come back with stories. I always thought once I actually went to one my social life would completely turn around and I would suddenly become a happy confident person like them. After forcing myself to a few parties I discovered they are not all that great. All that talk I missed out on about peoples Friday nights wasn't even worth it. Most of the people there I realized I didn't even like, especially some of the popular girls. I've grown to not even like alcohol that much. It didn't hide the fact that I was pathetic with girls, nor did it make me happy. The only time I did have fun when I was drunk was with the guys. The worst feeling was the morning after I was drunk. No it wasn't the hang over, it was this deep depressing feeling like I was empty and I couldn't fill the hole. Now I'm at the point where I don't even enjoy myself at parties, they are nothing special.

Anyway, I'm going away to Rutgers this Fall and I know there will be parties all the time and alcohol all over the place. I'm just wondering if I'm the only one who doesn't even enjoy parties anymore. Am I just depressed or do I seriously need to bang some drunk college chicks next year to get over it?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0fhC4xZOJ0

 

[Voice]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0fhC4xZOJ0

Heh...

Wow I know its only been like 2 weeks since I made this thread, but just reading it makes me sick. I just want it deleted. Anyway that negative me doesn't exist anymore.