Part 4: Murder, getting cucked by my best friend, testosterone and how red pill reinvigorated my marriage

[rick flair]

I got deep into red pill, read rollo tomasi and found you Donovan sharpe.

as I watched your work, the onion kept peeling back. I understood why she had no respect for me and completely took me for granted.

After reviewing our marriage with her. She accepted she had been a ****ty wife. she accepted her behavior with Steve was out of line. But when we talked about us dating, she still painted me as a bad boyfriend. I reflected on that and I just thought this can't be right. What I told her and what I concluded was that she totally took me for granted as a boyfriend. As a boyfriend I worked my ass off to become a good earner so I could marry her. She just saw me as having some ****ty low status sales job. I didn't take her out much (but I still took her to lavish meals – which she totally didn’t appreciate in hindsight – all that money down the drain) because I worked all the time and I prioritized going to bed on time Friday and Saturday nights so that I would be fresh on Monday morning. I was a top sales Rep in the country. In a very difficult business to business sales environment. 10 guys came before me in my territory and failed I succeeded. What's interesting is when I went to sales conferences 9s and 10s tried to **** me. because I was awesome at my job. But all she saw was a tired overweight guy. I allowed her to go out to bars without me. I allowed her to have male friends. And all this time we could not have a normal relationship because she lived with her parents and she was not allowed to officially date. I rent an apartment 5 miles from her house cutting me off from my own friends who now lived far away all of her memories are of the things I didn't do for her. She did not acknowledge that I sacrificed by staying with her when I could have easily pursued other women who could have spent more time with me.

I realized she stopped treating me well once I got what she viewed was a low status job. I had gained weight and I had no time for anything other than work. She acknowledged she had put me in the friend zone. And after a lot of discussion she acknowledged that I was in fact a good boyfriend and she was in fact a bad girlfriend.

She acknowledged that she walked into marriage thinking that I wasn't as good as her. She acknowledged that she resented the ring I bought her even though it was 15k. she acknowledged she resented me for the wedding because apparently I was not involved enough. The big wedding and the big ring were a compromise I come from a family that is very well to do financially but also very frugal. – my family viewed big rings and big weddings as a bad use of money

My family gave us money for the wedding. Her family gave us less money. Plus I was dealing with the ever present social strain of not being from her ethnic community. So somehow even though I gave her everything that she wanted. She found a way to resent me for it because it wasn't just right. Even though I waited in a seven-year relationship one which we could not have a normal relationship because of her family -she had the audacity to view me as a bad boyfriend. We walked into marriage and she already resented me. The passion for me had been over already for conservatively four years. I laid this all out to her and she acknowledged it.

Also she bandied about the word divorce throughout this discussion.

I sat her down and explain the facts of life to her because I had no choice

I said you think I have no game so I did a lot of research into what game is.

This is what will happen if we divorce, I don't want to divorce but you need to know what will happen

the financial assets will be split and there is no huge upside for you. You will now be a single mother impacting our child and you will have far more work on your plate without me around

I read her the facts

I am 40 – not too old

I am a high earner

Im funny and socially adept

I am in shape and handsome

I am 6’1

I can date any ethnicity that I want. Black women, Hispanics whatever my parents don't care who I bring home. You cannot, sorry her family is very racist. Its white guys or guys from your ethnic background. Guys from your ethnic background will go no where near you – because you are divorced and have a kid. White guys likely will not want anything to do with your family because they are so unaccepting. Let’s say you do find a guy who is willing to deal with your family. He likely will never be accepted anyway – because he’s the new guy. And you can only bring home a new guy once

I could bring a girl home a new one for every holiday and my parents would not care. Because we divorced. My nephews would give me high fives in my sisters would just laugh and say here's our brother with another girl. My family would not care.

Other women would not care that I was allegedly a bad boyfriend

I am also very mature having to deal with your difficult family and also a child with a serious illness. No social situation would scare me because I've already been there and done that

Now heres where you stand if we divorce

You are 38 – too old

You are a high earner - men don't care that much

you are educated men don't care that much

you have a kid – big strike against you

the only thing men care about is how you look and you have not taken care of yourself in 15 years that's the bottom line

I don't wanna leave you I love you but you're the one who talks about me not having game

so I looked up the game and that's what the game is