"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Part 1) Need Advice about this Guy (Men feel free to write)

orionstar

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Hey Everyone,

Today is Wednesday, September 14th. I am home on a vacation day. I am new to this site as of this week. I have a problem or should I say maybe I think I have a problem but I am not sure, but I could use some good, strong critical advice on what to do with my dilema. I would truly appreciate anyone's input who has been in my shoes (male or female) but would really love to get a man's true point of view on what I am about to type out. But before I type the problem...let me give you a a little background info on me so you can analyze the situation clearly with enough facts to come up with a possible theories and/or solutions for my problem. Excuse me for writing out a long novel, but I read so many people's post and sometimes people leave out details, and it would be hard to give proper feedback, if they leave out certain specifics. I need advice and help, and I wanted to make sure that whomever took the time to read this, got the full 9 yards, so they could carefully analyze this for me, with as much information as needed. Again, thatnks for taking a moment in reading this and helping out.

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My Story-The Beginning:

Approximately 6 weeks ago, I was shopping in the grocery store. I was over near the fresh cheese and meats section. I was deciding on which cheese to buy when some guy asked me if I was the girl from the local gym. I said yes. I was not dressed all that great, my hair was not even really combed, but when I looked at this guy, he sorta caught my eye. He is not all that good-looking by my friend's standard but to me, he was. But I did not let this show. (I guess he caugh me off guard, as one migh say). While he was preparing my cheese for me, we had a nice small 15 minute chit chat. Nothing special in the conversation except to say that he was glad he met me in person. I was about to leave and he asked for my number. For some unknown reason, I just gave it to him. Something I never do. But I did. He said he would call sometime and maybe try to get together. I said fine and went about my way.

I came home about 45 mins. later, thinking nothing of the meeting and he called me. I was surprised because I did not expect it. (And yes, I did have a smile on my face but I made nothing out of it, I thought it was nice). He left a message saying that he would call me later in the week to chat. This was on a Tuesday. Thursday he called and we had a nice conversation. He did not ask me out but said he would call again. This is how it was for us for the next 3 1/2 weeks. Please note I never bothered to call him one time during this time. Remember, I was not really big on guys at this point, so I did not take it seriously. In addition, I also remembered how the old me use to be crazy with the phone and would call a guy a 100 times a day...a big no-no. So....this time around, in my sub-conscious....I think I wanted to play by the rules for once.

So, this guy called me every other day for literally 31/2 weeks. Each conversation was really nice and brief. (I made sure I ended the conversation first and not him). During the 1/2 week he finally asked if could get together. (Before that, it was impossible for us to get together for he was studying for his Series 7 and working in the evenings.) Unfortunately, the times he had availbable did not match mine, but he said one way or another we would get together. That day finally came.

The week before Labor Day weekend he called me on Tuesday to see if I would be free on Friday to hang out. I said I was free. He called me again on Wednesday to confirm and three times on Friday. When the Friday before Labor Day rolled around he called me, I was starting to feel a bit nervous. I know this is such a stupid reason, but I nervous about meeting and hanging out with a guy, for it had been over 2 years, and I knew I was not good at this. He did not know this of course, but I was afraid to actually hang out with this guy for fear it would be great but later to turn out to be another sad love song, if you know what I mean. So, when he called the 3rd time, I told him I was not sure if I was ready to come over yet. But he kept insisting. During the 3rd call, he said if I changed my mind to come between 4:30-6:30 pm, for he had to take care of some things with his father. I said I would let him know. At 5:00pm, I finally got the courage to go meet him (he lived only 10 minutes from me) and I called to let him know I was coming. He was happy.

I arrived at 5:15 pm and left at 6:00pm, remembering in the back of my head to make sure to leave first without him rushing me out of the door. I knew he had other plans that evening. Well....the short time I was there, I was a bit nervous, (thank goodness it did not show) and I had fun. I met one of his 2 roomates and we all hung out. It really was a good time. We just all sat around and talked about the news and music and etc...., so, as I walking out the door, he gave me a kiss on the cheek and said he would call me later after Labor Day weekend to get together again. I said great...and went home. I got home at 6:15 pm, and at 6:30 pm, I receieved a phone call. It was him. I was again surprised. He called to tell me that he was happy that came over and that he was looking forward to seeing me again. He also mentioned that he thought I looked really nice that day. That was all he said in like 1 minute. I did not know what to expect, but I will be honest say this guy had my cheeks turning red. For the first time, I felt this slight warmness in my heart that I thought I would never feel again. No....I am not talking about love, but just a nice feeling that something nice was happening for me in the romance department. So, I went about and did my things over the Labor Day weekend.
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Monday, the day of Labor Day, I called him to say that I hoped his weekend with his father and other family members went well and that I looked forward to seeing him later in the week. Note, this was my only 2nd time calling him. He called me back on Tuesday to make plans for Thursday of that week after Labor Day. He called me on Tues, Wed and Thursday. Thursday was the 8th of September.

On Thursday afternoon, I was home for a vacation day and my good friend had to come over to use my computer for her's was broken. She is a good friend and she moved from my hometown up north. So, I rarely ever saw her. She had to use my computer for business/personal purposes so she wanted to spend the evening with me. I told her I had plans with this guy, but I would ask him to see if he had a friend or his roomate that might want to go out and go to the local pub, since is was football games would be playing. So, when the guy called me, I told him what was up and he said it was a great idea to bring my friend along, for one of his roommates was having company over and he and his other roommate did not want to be at home. So we all agreed to meet at the local pub. When I got there, he was with the 3rd roommate, the one I never met and another friend whom he knew from the grocery store. I already saw he had ordered drinks, so my friend and I bought our own drinks. (And no, I was not expecting him to buy my drink, I was not like that, I did think that maybe he would offer, but he did not, and I did not think anything bad of it.). So, when we sat down and did all the introductions, everyone was really having a good time. After being there about 15 mins, the guy took my hand in his and held it. I do not mean he held my hand, but he intwinded both of our fingers. I thought it was sweet. Oh, I forgot to mention, I am not a big drinker, either, I had 1 beer that I did not even bother to finish. My friend ordered a long island ice tea, her usual drink but what i did not know what that she ordered it super strong.
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"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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newdave

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Umm, i dont know if ive missed something?

But what did you actually need advice about in particular?

Dave.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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newdave

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Was it 'does he like me?'
Cos thats an overwhelmingly obvious yes.
 

flexion_

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Whats the dilemma? It helps if you ask a question...
 

The Bad Ass Canadian

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:confused:

I read the whole thing and I don't get it... the story stops half way, and you didn't even ask a question?

He's digging you, that's obvious.... so what's the dilemna?

For you, it should either be a "yay" or "nay" answer......
 

flexion_

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OK I figured it out... there are 2 other threads named Part 2) and Part 3) ... for anyone else reading this....
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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newdave

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Yeah..... hence my post 3 above this one....

She musn't have realised you can reply to own posts.
 
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:yawn:

Can you just put a shorter version up?

Most guys wont read this... so if you want an answer do some editing.


Follow the following format:

My (guy/girl) (freind,lover,spouse) did the following (insert recent event), (he/she) previously did (more events). What do I do?
 

Jake-inator

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I started reading your post... but then i got bored. :yawn:
If this guy you're talking about doesn't seem interested in you it's probably because you talk way too much and you bored him to death.

Life is meant to be lived not analyzed.
So stop trying to analyze every situation you come across, you'll go insane trying to figure out what everyone's intentions are.

In the end it doesn't matter.

When in doubt use occam's razor.. the simplest explanation is the best one.
 

Skel

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can anyone summarize what she posted? I dont feel like reading all that.
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

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RaWBLooD

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Originally posted by Jake-inator
I started reading your post... but then i got bored. :yawn:
If this guy you're talking about doesn't seem interested in you it's probably because you talk way too much and you bored him to death.

lmfao
 
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