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Part 1: Murder, getting cucked by my best friend, testosterone and how red pill reinvigorated my marriage

rick flair

Don Juan
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this is long i would appreciate if you read all parts - they only make sense in order



PRELUDE:

First – I think you are missing a huge market/demographic that you could be helping. I live in a major urban area. I am a high value man – or you can be the judge of that:

White

40 years old

200k+ income + driven, always on my game never ever puts work second and that’s how I got to the good career I have today

6’1

A very engaged father – going above and beyond (I don’t think this actually counts though – or doesn’t count to your wife as much as I would think – taken for granted)

199 pounds as of this morning – fit

Very mature – I have faced far more life adversity than your average man – I have dealt with family/parenting situations that other men would have likely run from (not appreciated by the wife)

Excellent son in law to a very difficult family (taken for granted)

Outgoing – socially astute/funny/charming – lots of friends – the cool guy in high school.

Athletically accomplished – driven to once again compete in full contact martial arts at a high level

Objectively pretty handsome with a nice beard

You know only some of those traits lead to attraction. And I now realize attraction is not a negotiation -even your wife is only attracted to you in the moment, your resume is not attractive. I thought she would be attracted to me and respect me for everything I had done, but I was wrong.

Until I had red pill I had ZERO GAME. I did not realize my VALUE as a man – and I came to realize that led to a marriage where respect/appreciation was almost entirely absent – despite all my accomplishments. I simply was not treated the way I deserved.

Several of the men in my friend group have the same value on paper as I do (noted above), if not a greater value. But they are owned/mistreated by their wives. Instinctively – I knew something was wrong. I thought my relationship was fine though. But I looked at my friends and thought how can these guys literally live in fear of their wives – and fear divorce. These are men you could help if you start to speak about the married life. - I realized all the mistakes I had made and how that put me into a bad position 19 years into my relationship. The high value men I know view the world through the blue pill and suffer because of it. Something you failed to mention about divorce, if a man makes the same amount as his wife or less, there is far less chances of divorce or least monetary incentive. I don't have numbers to back that up, but it makes sense rationally. There are far less prizes for the woman. She may come out financially on top. Let's say she gets 60% he gets 40%. But she may have earned 60%. She can’t hit him up for child support because she will keep working – or at least exorbitant child support. It may free up the man’s income – he actually might spend less money paying child support vs. giving the woman all his money during the marriage. + losing household labor/parenting is a much bigger deal to a woman with a demanding job. And I think both parties realize it would be bad for the kids. YET – these men still live in fear of their wives.

Throughout this letter I will change names/not give specifics/ to disguise my identity.



So what led me to your work?



Number one I started testosterone replacement – I am always trying to improve

This changes you, makes you more of a man in every sense. More energy more drive more muscle and better sex plus greater sex drive and most importantly ASSERTIVENESS – the key to what I was lacking

Because I had more energy - I was able 2 get all the things done around the house that I didn't do before. Also I'm in therapy, and my therapist pointed out that I needed to do these things to help my wife. Going to therapy, is another way I'm trying to be my best self. I started cleaning, cooking, organizing and doing routine paperwork etc so even more I was being the man that my wife wanted. And believe it or not this leads to more sex. My household is dual income. I think this is a dynamic that is very common, but causes problems. This dynamic I think you would view as less than ideal. But it's so common I think it's something you should start to talk about and how to deal with it. I certainly don't mind the 300K+ household income. I was coming from the mindset that I'm a man and a man doesn't need to cook and clean. but I believe in equality in labor now it's just fair for us to both do the same amount of work. The problem is I believed in equality in the relationship. What you have taught me is if my wife is operating in her life at an 8 - I always need to be at a 10. cooking and cleaning can help me in that respect. But to be a leader and a man I need to always perform at a higher level:

Always superior:

In earning

In taking charge/leadership

In protection

In fitness

In dressing

In grooming

In social settings

And in GAME – maintain my frame – the most critical part. But game is easier when you are taking care of everything else

Men fall into the trap of the dual income – they believe in equality. And society beats that into your head. But there is never equality. Either the woman is in charge or the man is in charge. That's what I see with my friends and myself. The myth of equality is what you shook me out of. Women left to their own devices are always trying to own their man. both parties involved, including kids are worse because of it.

The idea of an equitable relationship due to a similar dual income led me to complacency.

I earn money she earns money (I always made more) – but that was taken for granted because we both “have challenging jobs”

She didn’t take care of herself so its only fair I don’t have to take care of myself (wrong there is a double standard – she can be out of shape but will lose attraction to me because I am too – I thought I was fine because neither of us were in shape. I never lost attraction. She did – but I was blind to it)

I am writing you to thank you for your educational content. You came to me during a crisis in my relationship. I have been in a relationship for 19 years, I met my wife when she was 19 and I was 21. We will revisit this story later. I have completely reviewed our relationship with my wife over the past emotionally draining three months.

THE EVENT THAT CHANGED MY RELATIONSHIP FOREVER:

ENTER STEVE


My BEST FRIEND who was very close with me, my family and MOST IMPORTANTLY MY WIFE WAS ACTIVELY AND OPENLY TRYING TO SLEEP WITH HIS BEST FRIENDS WIFES – INCLUDING MY WIFE.

This came to light about three months ago.

Due to my testosterone replacement – I was now much more assertive.

Because I was living my best life and now living up to the expectations my wife had in the domestic sphere, I was now acutely aware of what she wasn't doing for me. this incident shoved in my face how little she respected me as a man.

Let me go over my relationship with Steve. Steve is a higher value man than me; taller, more attractive, a better earner, more hair & socially domineering. My wife met Steve when he was living with me when she was 20. Again, he was a higher value man then and now. He is also mean and once told me “I can’t imagine how you and your girlfriend have sex she has pork chop thighs and you have ***** tits.” So most of the time he is nice and charming but he has a real mean streak. Now I would have told him to **** off, but I was timid and not secure back then. I told my now wife the story. Why? Because he was a higher value man and I wanted her to hate him. But likely – knowing women it made her more attracted. And I am sure she already was attracted – because he was a higher value man. She said she “hated him” which I know from Womenese means “I totally want to **** him”





if a woman does not cheat physically, it doesn't have to destroy our relationship. But this rule applies to all women regardless of their integrity. If a woman wants to **** your best friend, that's not good for you emotionally and it's not good for your relationship. Because it puts yourself in a position where you are no longer the man, Steve is. I instinctively knew this man was a threat to my relationship. But he was my best friend. I had effectively two best men in my wedding and he was one of them. In hindsight I should have kept him as far away from my wife as humanly possible. The best man or the groomsmen ****ing the bride – it happens. In this case likely not literally but likely emotionally
 

Zimbabwe

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 29, 2021
Messages
2,107
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2,715
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26
OP nobody is going to read that novel, just go outside and talk to new women we don't need to hear your life story.
 

PowerQuest

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 30, 2019
Messages
1,914
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Location
Denmark
Hi @rick flair, thanks for sharing your story.
Two things:
1.)
Never degrade yourself as a lesser man than you are.
2.) Stop comparing yourself with Steve. It doesn't matter who the fvck it might be. Focus on yourself and not on what others do/is.
 

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Pedrito0906

Don Juan
Joined
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Age
33
this is long i would appreciate if you read all parts - they only make sense in order



PRELUDE:

First – I think you are missing a huge market/demographic that you could be helping. I live in a major urban area. I am a high value man – or you can be the judge of that:

White

40 years old

200k+ income + driven, always on my game never ever puts work second and that’s how I got to the good career I have today

6’1

A very engaged father – going above and beyond (I don’t think this actually counts though – or doesn’t count to your wife as much as I would think – taken for granted)

199 pounds as of this morning – fit

Very mature – I have faced far more life adversity than your average man – I have dealt with family/parenting situations that other men would have likely run from (not appreciated by the wife)

Excellent son in law to a very difficult family (taken for granted)

Outgoing – socially astute/funny/charming – lots of friends – the cool guy in high school.

Athletically accomplished – driven to once again compete in full contact martial arts at a high level

Objectively pretty handsome with a nice beard

You know only some of those traits lead to attraction. And I now realize attraction is not a negotiation -even your wife is only attracted to you in the moment, your resume is not attractive. I thought she would be attracted to me and respect me for everything I had done, but I was wrong.

Until I had red pill I had ZERO GAME. I did not realize my VALUE as a man – and I came to realize that led to a marriage where respect/appreciation was almost entirely absent – despite all my accomplishments. I simply was not treated the way I deserved.

Several of the men in my friend group have the same value on paper as I do (noted above), if not a greater value. But they are owned/mistreated by their wives. Instinctively – I knew something was wrong. I thought my relationship was fine though. But I looked at my friends and thought how can these guys literally live in fear of their wives – and fear divorce. These are men you could help if you start to speak about the married life. - I realized all the mistakes I had made and how that put me into a bad position 19 years into my relationship. The high value men I know view the world through the blue pill and suffer because of it. Something you failed to mention about divorce, if a man makes the same amount as his wife or less, there is far less chances of divorce or least monetary incentive. I don't have numbers to back that up, but it makes sense rationally. There are far less prizes for the woman. She may come out financially on top. Let's say she gets 60% he gets 40%. But she may have earned 60%. She can’t hit him up for child support because she will keep working – or at least exorbitant child support. It may free up the man’s income – he actually might spend less money paying child support vs. giving the woman all his money during the marriage. + losing household labor/parenting is a much bigger deal to a woman with a demanding job. And I think both parties realize it would be bad for the kids. YET – these men still live in fear of their wives.

Throughout this letter I will change names/not give specifics/ to disguise my identity.



So what led me to your work?



Number one I started testosterone replacement – I am always trying to improve

This changes you, makes you more of a man in every sense. More energy more drive more muscle and better sex plus greater sex drive and most importantly ASSERTIVENESS – the key to what I was lacking

Because I had more energy - I was able 2 get all the things done around the house that I didn't do before. Also I'm in therapy, and my therapist pointed out that I needed to do these things to help my wife. Going to therapy, is another way I'm trying to be my best self. I started cleaning, cooking, organizing and doing routine paperwork etc so even more I was being the man that my wife wanted. And believe it or not this leads to more sex. My household is dual income. I think this is a dynamic that is very common, but causes problems. This dynamic I think you would view as less than ideal. But it's so common I think it's something you should start to talk about and how to deal with it. I certainly don't mind the 300K+ household income. I was coming from the mindset that I'm a man and a man doesn't need to cook and clean. but I believe in equality in labor now it's just fair for us to both do the same amount of work. The problem is I believed in equality in the relationship. What you have taught me is if my wife is operating in her life at an 8 - I always need to be at a 10. cooking and cleaning can help me in that respect. But to be a leader and a man I need to always perform at a higher level:

Always superior:

In earning

In taking charge/leadership

In protection

In fitness

In dressing

In grooming

In social settings

And in GAME – maintain my frame – the most critical part. But game is easier when you are taking care of everything else

Men fall into the trap of the dual income – they believe in equality. And society beats that into your head. But there is never equality. Either the woman is in charge or the man is in charge. That's what I see with my friends and myself. The myth of equality is what you shook me out of. Women left to their own devices are always trying to own their man. both parties involved, including kids are worse because of it.

The idea of an equitable relationship due to a similar dual income led me to complacency.

I earn money she earns money (I always made more) – but that was taken for granted because we both “have challenging jobs”

She didn’t take care of herself so its only fair I don’t have to take care of myself (wrong there is a double standard – she can be out of shape but will lose attraction to me because I am too – I thought I was fine because neither of us were in shape. I never lost attraction. She did – but I was blind to it)

I am writing you to thank you for your educational content. You came to me during a crisis in my relationship. I have been in a relationship for 19 years, I met my wife when she was 19 and I was 21. We will revisit this story later. I have completely reviewed our relationship with my wife over the past emotionally draining three months.

THE EVENT THAT CHANGED MY RELATIONSHIP FOREVER:

ENTER STEVE


My BEST FRIEND who was very close with me, my family and MOST IMPORTANTLY MY WIFE WAS ACTIVELY AND OPENLY TRYING TO SLEEP WITH HIS BEST FRIENDS WIFES – INCLUDING MY WIFE.

This came to light about three months ago.

Due to my testosterone replacement – I was now much more assertive.

Because I was living my best life and now living up to the expectations my wife had in the domestic sphere, I was now acutely aware of what she wasn't doing for me. this incident shoved in my face how little she respected me as a man.

Let me go over my relationship with Steve. Steve is a higher value man than me; taller, more attractive, a better earner, more hair & socially domineering. My wife met Steve when he was living with me when she was 20. Again, he was a higher value man then and now. He is also mean and once told me “I can’t imagine how you and your girlfriend have sex she has pork chop thighs and you have ***** tits.” So most of the time he is nice and charming but he has a real mean streak. Now I would have told him to **** off, but I was timid and not secure back then. I told my now wife the story. Why? Because he was a higher value man and I wanted her to hate him. But likely – knowing women it made her more attracted. And I am sure she already was attracted – because he was a higher value man. She said she “hated him” which I know from Womenese means “I totally want to **** him”





if a woman does not cheat physically, it doesn't have to destroy our relationship. But this rule applies to all women regardless of their integrity. If a woman wants to **** your best friend, that's not good for you emotionally and it's not good for your relationship. Because it puts yourself in a position where you are no longer the man, Steve is. I instinctively knew this man was a threat to my relationship. But he was my best friend. I had effectively two best men in my wedding and he was one of them. In hindsight I should have kept him as far away from my wife as humanly possible. The best man or the groomsmen ****ing the bride – it happens. In this case likely not literally but likely emotionally
Moral of the story:

1. Don't get married young without developing abundance mindset in women
2. Learn to stand up to people
3. Work on your goals and developing yourself first
4. Don't mate guard the woman you're dating to be in serious relationship, give her enough rope so she can hang herself, then dump her without looking back, but you need to have an abundance mindset.
5. Never lose the frame in a relationship
6. Never do chore play in the house expecting to have her approval and wanting more $ex, that's just desperate needy behavior. Do it without expectations.
7. There's always gonna be a better looking guy, with more money and better socially, so that comparison is pointless.
8. It doesn't matter how much you make, how tall you are, how handsome you are, how good your beard is, if you don't kill the beta in you, you will still be a High Value Beta Male.
 

Ricky

Master Don Juan
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I sense that writing this is therapeutic for you, and it may help others. Please continue.
 

ThisIsSparta

Senior Don Juan
Joined
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Central Europe
Something you failed to mention about divorce, if a man makes the same amount as his wife or less, there is far less chances of divorce or least monetary incentive. I don't have numbers to back that up, but it makes sense rationally. There are far less prizes for the woman. She may come out financially on top. Let's say she gets 60% he gets 40%. But she may have earned 60%. She can’t hit him up for child support because she will keep working – or at least exorbitant child support. It may free up the man’s income – he actually might spend less money paying child support vs. giving the woman all his money during the marriage. + losing household labor/parenting is a much bigger deal to a woman with a demanding job. And I think both parties realize it would be bad for the kids. YET – these men still live in fear of their wives.
My wife made/makes more money than me, about 10k a year. Not a lot, but still.

Back in 2018, when my marriage was about to break up, the financial aspect was one sorrow less for me, facing divorce. Depending on the laws at your place, earning less money then your wife could be beneficial.

I knew i wouldnt be financialy ruined by a divorce and this was one major aspect that helped me greatly in starting to not give a fock anymore.

In the endgame, not giving a fock, was one of the reasons why my wife is still here and respects me more then ever.

As a man in a relationship you need to be ready to walk away at any point. Mentally, financially and emotionally.
Your woman needs to know that and she also has to know that you are the best that she can get and the best is not by default the guy that earns more then she does.


@OP looking forward to read the rest of your story
 
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