"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Parking lot paranoia - what to do in this situation?

phobius

Don Juan
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Feb 25, 2007
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Hi all, newbie here.

At my workplace there are a couple of women who arrive at approximately the same time that I do. I've smiled at and said hi to them before, but shyness has prevented me from saying anything more (probably because i told myself "there's always next time". I would like next time to be the time I strike up a conversation. Any thoughts on breaking out of this cycle of inaction, or things to say?

thanks.:rockon:
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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thickandcreamy

Don Juan
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Problem: you didn't talk to them.

Solution: talk to them.

There is a chance you'll come off extremely creepy. There's also a chance to build some rapport. Don't take this the wrong way, but if you're really focusing on the parking lot as a place to attract women, you must really seriously be lacking in social options.

Make some friends and go out with them after work, and socialize at the bar or at a restaurant and chat up some of the regulars. Build up a social circle. Very few women (or men) see a parking lot as a place to build rapport, though.

Are you serious about approaching women in the parking lot?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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