Parents - time and age

[NewMan]

This is really a question for those of you who have a good relationship with their parents.


I live in another continent to my parents. I just drove my mum to the airport after she helped through some injuries I sustained.

I'm in a funk right now, because I'm reflecting on how little time I get to spend with my mum and Dad. Perhaps 2 - 4 weeks a year. I wonder what thoughts and feelings others have who go through a similar situation.

In particular, I think of what will happen as they age - you'll have medical issues and I wonder how I will be able to take care/help them in the future.

It's a difficult thing, and rally has me thinking.

 

[Latinoman]

This is really a question for those of you who have a good relationship with their parents.


I live in another continent to my parents. I just drove my mum to the airport after she helped through some injuries I sustained.

I'm in a funk right now, because I'm reflecting on how little time I get to spend with my mum and Dad. Perhaps 2 - 4 weeks a year. I wonder what thoughts and feelings others have who go through a similar situation.

In particular, I think of what will happen as they age - you'll have medical issues and I wonder how I will be able to take care/help them in the future.

It's a difficult thing, and rally has me thinking.

I personally believe that a parent should make sure their "house is in order" so when they get too old...health insurance, nursery homes, and other issues can already be taken care off. That would take the load from the sons and daughters.

That's what I hope to do for my children so they don't worry about it.

 

[NewMan]

that is valid - however when you live on a different continent to them, it's hard to ensure they are comfortable and getting all of the care they deserve.

it's the intangibles - not seeing them, not being there for them, and perhaps the guilt of not being around....

 

[NewMan]

that is valid - however when you live on a different continent to them, it's hard to ensure they are comfortable and getting all of the care they deserve.

it's the intangibles - not seeing them, not being there for them, and perhaps the guilt of not being around....

 

[LoneSilver]

Newman, I figure by your post your an only child..if so I can understand this diliema and your concerns.

I almost loss my Mom the first week of May I found her not responding to my voice when I tried to wake her so I called 911 my Mom will be 80 Novemeber..

When the medics got there they found her blood sugar had bottomed out to 42 she was basically close to death and entering a coma...Seeing the medics put my Moms lifeless body on the stretcher moved me to tears I couldn't hold it in and to not be able to tell her I love her for one last time all kinds of sh*t was going through my mind.

She ended up in the hospital for 8 nights pretty much very ill with kidney failure and finding out she was type II diabetic something I saw that she brought on herself loving soda's, ice cream and eating stuff like she was still a kid.

Anyway, I have a nurse that see's her once a week checking her blood pressure and generally making sure she is OK the bright side of this is she has no dementia signs and still thinks clearly but next week I have to take her to her kidney doctor for follow up to make sure her kidneys are OK.

My dad on the other hand has dementia and is a complete mess. He had gone down ever since having 6 by passes done in 2001...But I try to watch them and try my best to keep them out of a nursing home and assisted living but there might be a day I'll have no other choice.

At present I have power of attorney of their estate money matters and medical so I have documents in case anything were to happen in the future.

In your case you could put a ad in the local paper where your parent live. If your well off and can afford to pay someone to maybe be a live in or someone that can check on them in the mornings, afternoon, evening and be a source of comfort for them that could report to you if they see something out of order like unusually behaviour to where you could check further on them.

I hope this helps it's been a rough year for me watching my parent go down hill I have realized I have been a moody butt at times but I try to live as normal life I can. I love my folks they have been married 59 years as of May 13th they married on a Friday the 13th good luck for them.

LoneSilver