Parents getting in the way of my social life

[Viper423]

I am 17 years old, a senior in high school and have never had a girlfriend. Why? Because I don't have the ability to get one? NO. Because of my parents. It's like they think I'm still a little kid. For instance, last night I was out eating with my friend and he brought some of his other friends along. Well, he introduces me to this girl and we hit it off. Well, when we are about to leave, she asks me if I can come over to her house. I was DYING to go, but had to tell her my parents wanted me home right after we ate. Worst part is I felt so bad I didn't even get her number. Just little things like this happen all the time. I have no social life like all my friends. I want a girlfriend and want to stay out till 3 am on the weekends hanging out with friends. I guess next year when I go off to college things will change dramatically, but until then, any advice?

 

[Mikelo2k]

Man, you shoulda started a 'loosening' process years ago. The idea is, to slowly break rules, even slighly. After a while, break more 'heavier' rules, until you are comfortable and your parents are 'adjusted' to this behaviour. I know EXACTLY what you are feeling. How did I solve this? I moved with my dad. Now i'm free to do whatever i want, i make my own food, i care for myself on my own, and its what i've always wanted in a way.

So if you think its worth it, try the 'loosening' process. Dont get in trouble with the cops, show ur parents ur responsible and will come home unharmed. Somtimes it takes drastic things like staying at a friends overngith without calling, and returning home in the morning unhramed (mom might be crying, so this is kinda harsh). But, my personal favourite is to write a note. Leave it in plain view, and go where u wanna go, telling them "i'll be back tomorrow morning" or whatnot It works!

( careful tho, some of these things may get you 'grounded'. You are almost an adult now, take things into your own hands and say '**** you' to the grounding. They dont have the right to restrict you like that, make em understand that you mean it )

Good luck my friend!

 

[Viper423]

Thanks....this "lossening" process will take quite a bit of time. Actually, it's more my mom, cause my dad could care less what I do, but my mom has got me tied around her finger, lol. I mean, you know it's bad when her current state (happy, sad, angry, ect..) effects how you feel as well. Like, when my mom is mad at me for something, it effects how I act too, and takes me out of my "comfort zone." I don't think a lossening process will go too well, that's why I'm depending on going away to college and getting out on my own, but i'm sure gonna try it so I can salvage some time at least.

 

[Mikelo2k]

Try the NOTE thing i suggested dude. And if she tries to ground you, just keep going out as if nothing happened. She loves u and cares for you. If you go off without saying anything, she will get really worried I bet. If you leave a note, you come off as 'responsible' and she wont worry so much, because it looks like you know what ur doing.

If need be, talk to her about it. Tell her you are almost 18, and you are going to take your life into your own hands, make your own descisions. Tell her you appreciate her advice, and her caring nature, but it's time to you to learn to take care of yourself and make your own descisions, because she wont be around forever...


Peace

 

[Viper423]

Thanks, I'll have to try that...anyone else have any advice?

 

[deeloo]

im a junior.. back when i was a freshman i used to have a curfew at 10.30.. but now i go out every weekend till 3-4 in the morning and sometimes i dont even go home.. how did i do it?

first i had this talk with my mum.. as she is the one enforcing all these rules.. i tell her that i was 14.. and a bit of freedom is needed.. most of my friends go out late and stay out late.. I can't just stay home all the time, I needed a social life.

It took a while.. not just a sudden drastic change.. but she started to loosen up.. 11pm.. 11.30... 12... 1... then now i have no real curfew.. i tell my mum to just go to bed..

but dont actually get in trouble with anything.. last year my friend got in trouble with the cops and i was with him so i had to go to the cop station.. and it was ****ed up my mum started the curfew thing again.. so i had to talk to her.

sometimes if she is really stubborn.. i guess u just have to be a bit harsh.. i remember i once screamed "you know if i don't want to come home I won't have to? you can't do anything about it" to my mum when she told me to go home at 11..

 

[THA REALNESS]

Exactly ,you MUST rebell.

You have get tough and act up when they try to hold you down ,you will have to get pretty harsh sometimes and you will have some brutal arguments .You have to be cold-hearted and self-ish sometimes or you will get ****ted on eternally.


P.S. Yes,you should have closed .