Question is the title: paradigm shift - how to become positive in the face of overwhelming negativity?
This is only my third post here, so to put things in context in 4 words: I suck with women. In 26 years I've never had a girlfriend, never even been on a date. Never seen any indications of interest from any female, even drunk ones. I may have Asperger's.
In general people look up to me and respect me. They think I'm a great person. But as far as relationships go most women seem to see me as scum of the earth.
My personality is negative and brooding. Externally I try to mask this and honestly I don't think I emit any negativity at all in day-to-day interactions. But someone told me girls have some sixth sense that can detect all this? It's a chicken and egg question - I'm negative because I've only had negative experiences with women.
I am stuck in a negative feedback loop. I am negative because of my spectacular failures when dealing with women, but attempts to break out of the loop (i.e. approaching) leads to more epic failures that only serve to reinforce the loop.
Confidence. I'm pretty much extremely confident in everything except when it comes to girls. My career is set. I'm not a millionaire, but I make good money. I enjoy my hobbies and personal projects that I'm involved with. I enjoy my friends.
I'm desperate. I know the cliched sayings say that you need to be happy with yourself and love yourself in order for girls to be attracted to you. The thing is - I *am* happy with myself, and like myself, *except* for the fact that I can't seem to get female affection for the life of me. I fail when I try. I fail when I'm not trying.
This is only my third post here, so to put things in context in 4 words: I suck with women. In 26 years I've never had a girlfriend, never even been on a date. Never seen any indications of interest from any female, even drunk ones. I may have Asperger's.
In general people look up to me and respect me. They think I'm a great person. But as far as relationships go most women seem to see me as scum of the earth.
My personality is negative and brooding. Externally I try to mask this and honestly I don't think I emit any negativity at all in day-to-day interactions. But someone told me girls have some sixth sense that can detect all this? It's a chicken and egg question - I'm negative because I've only had negative experiences with women.
I am stuck in a negative feedback loop. I am negative because of my spectacular failures when dealing with women, but attempts to break out of the loop (i.e. approaching) leads to more epic failures that only serve to reinforce the loop.
Confidence. I'm pretty much extremely confident in everything except when it comes to girls. My career is set. I'm not a millionaire, but I make good money. I enjoy my hobbies and personal projects that I'm involved with. I enjoy my friends.
I'm desperate. I know the cliched sayings say that you need to be happy with yourself and love yourself in order for girls to be attracted to you. The thing is - I *am* happy with myself, and like myself, *except* for the fact that I can't seem to get female affection for the life of me. I fail when I try. I fail when I'm not trying.