"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

Panic attacks.

don code

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 1, 2004
Messages
33
Reaction score
0
Age
42
Sometimes when im in a room with people i get a sorta panic attack. I dont want to go on any type of anti depressant pills can anyone suggest anything else that will help?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

MidnightResistance

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jul 17, 2005
Messages
201
Reaction score
0
Age
43
Location
London
talk to one of your friends while you're there to boost confidence
 

don code

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 1, 2004
Messages
33
Reaction score
0
Age
42
sorry i will rephrase that, it is more so when im in a room with some one on a one to one basis( for example a job interview) happens more so with women tho even ones im not attracted to.
 

S0LID

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 17, 2004
Messages
944
Reaction score
1
Age
41
Read without embaressment by micheal pilinski
 

tactic

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 23, 2003
Messages
1,322
Reaction score
1
Age
39
You need to seek a doctor.... I have one too.
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

Read more...

ksoileau

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 1, 2004
Messages
54
Reaction score
0
Panic attacks

For panic attacks they have special medication, not necessarily antidepressants. I think Xanax is one of them. I sympathize with ya man - hope you feel better soon...
 

Black_Italian

Banned
Joined
May 9, 2004
Messages
1,032
Reaction score
0
Age
40
i think don code watches to much Sopranos. And this belongs in health/fitness forum if i were a moderator ID MOVE IT
 

twiiist_CH

Don Juan
Joined
Jul 26, 2005
Messages
21
Reaction score
0
i know what u mean, it's horrible...


i just confront those situations.

it helps with time but it never goes totally away
 

don code

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 1, 2004
Messages
33
Reaction score
0
Age
42
there must be a way to get rid of it, any psychologists out there? can nlp help?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

Alpine

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 21, 2004
Messages
1,576
Reaction score
3
Location
south west, uk
This has been covered lots of times and covers the same old pattern meds/counselling debate etc.

IMHO there's no need for meds and you would do well to avoid the offer. Family doctors might refer you to a therapist, if they are too tight arsed then find a qualified hynotheripist, perhaps with NLP skills.

Or you could even buy a book on NLP which contains the fast phobia cure and you can sort yourself out. A skilled therapist and cure most phobias in one session. Exposure therapy takes longer but has a very high success rate.

Basically you need to interrupt the thought processes that build up and replace them with another relaxing one. Become aware of your breathing and consciously aim to breathing lower and deeper and then more slowly.

Someone mensioned Mike Pilinski, get that ebook for sure, plus also look for a book called Toxic Shame I think it's called.
 

Melvin

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 20, 2004
Messages
29
Reaction score
0
Location
Northern Cal.
When you say "panic attack", what leads you to believe they're panic attacks and not normal nervousness/anxiety?

Panic attacks would usually come from a situation where it's not considered "normal" to be panicked. One on one job interviews tend to be nerve racking for anyone.

It's like saying you get panic attacks right before you jump off the bridge bungee jumping. That's probably not a panic attack, that's nervousness/butterflies/adrenaline everyone experiences to some degree.
 

King of You

Don Juan
Joined
Jul 23, 2005
Messages
103
Reaction score
0
I get paniced when i start new jobs. not so much the interview aspect, but actually walking in on the first day of work... im a damned wreck. But after about 20 minutes the adrenaline and nervousness subsides and im good to go.

if you have panic attacks or severe anxiety the best thing to do is confront the situations which give you these feelings. Avoiding them will only heighten the problems.
 

Jariel

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 17, 2004
Messages
4,413
Reaction score
296
Location
UK
I used to suffer social anxiety and get panic attacks regularly a few years ago, even just talking to a shop assistant or meeting a friend of the family. It's hard to believe it now as I'm one of the most popular and outgoing people at my university, and it's usually me that puts other people at ease.

Just to explain panic attacks...

When you're nervous you get tense, breathe shallow and start rushing and fumbling. This causes you to lose your breath, your heart rate speeds up, you can get shaky, which all escalates until you start to panic - and even pass out in some extreme cases.

My best advice and something I learned a while ago and which you can practise immediately, and that's to purposely slow down.

When you speak, take time to pause between sentences, breath comfortably (deep from the diaphram, NOT the chest - as Alpine pointed out) and make a point of hearing every word you speak aloud.

However, it's easy to forget to tell yourself to slow down sometimes, especially when you're surrounded by impatient people who talk fast, rush around or don't pay attention, but choose your OWN pace and don't let anyone rush you. You have a right to take your time and move at your own pace. If someone gets impatient, that's their problem! Keep that in mind!

It always helps to practise, which you can do by reading extracts from books aloud, slowly and comfortably, practise moving slowly (pretend you're in slow motion for a while) and focusing on sounds around you helps a lot too.

Seriously, this alone will make a massive difference and stop the panic attacks.

On top of this, you can just try to increase your social activities. The important thing is to feel comfortable in the situations so try taking it step by step.

I know what a restrictive curse panic attacks can be so I hope this helps.
 

Jariel

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 17, 2004
Messages
4,413
Reaction score
296
Location
UK
I also agree with Alpine on the medication approach too. I was on meds for a while and they made me quite dizzy and camp, and it's never good to be on medication anyway.

Also, I agree about looking at an NLP book (try introduction to NLP by Joseph O'Connor [i think]). If nothing else, you can use anchoring techniques to put yourself in a slow, relaxed state of mind when you need it most.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

SSben

Don Juan
Joined
Jul 17, 2005
Messages
55
Reaction score
0
Age
41
this could be a sign of brain damage by concussion, it aslo could be that u have a nutritional deficit.
 
Top