"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Paintball as a date, good or bad?

Shivastorm_88

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I'm going for my friend's birthday, we're going to be around 20, I'm thinking of inviting an LTR-worthy girl (not interested in ONS with her), would it be a good idea considering I'll be with pretty much all my friends and she won't know anyone (I think it's good for social proof)

And if so, how should I act, I've never really gamed a girl with a huge social group around me, so this would be new for me
 

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Lexington

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It'd be an awesome date if it were just the two of you, but I'm not sure if it'd be a great date with a group of friends. You want some alone time with her so that you can run your game. When you're with a big group of friends, that can be difficult. You're going to have your buddies constantly interrupting you etc.

What's the guarantee that your friends aren't going to mack on her? Right now it doesn't seem you're with her, so she's fair game. I guess you could tell your friends that you're interested in her but then that's just going to create a lot of pressure and unwanted attention. Your friends are going to be watching you as you try to run game on her.

A paintball date for just the two of you would be an awesome date. But with friends around, it's going to be awkward and difficult.

My $0.02
 

Iceberg

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If you consider her LTR-worthy, I guess that means you've already had a good amount of alone time over the course of the past 8-10 weeks.

If it were a first date, I'd think you were nuts. But since you two already have an established connection (I'm assuming), I don't see the harm in taking her out for an exciting day of getting shot by paintballs. It's give her a cool story to brag to her friends about.

If she can handle it...that sh** hurts sometimes.
 

kingsam

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be carefull its a group date...there many be peole who try and block you....often happens

and you wont be together much...which will work against you....

not every one (esp women) like the roughtness of paintball....so she may not like it = shes not comfortable = bad for you
 

Ease

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Lexington said:
It'd be an awesome date if it were just the two of you, but I'm not sure if it'd be a great date with a group of friends. You want some alone time with her so that you can run your game. When you're with a big group of friends, that can be difficult. You're going to have your buddies constantly interrupting you etc.

What's the guarantee that your friends aren't going to mack on her? Right now it doesn't seem you're with her, so she's fair game. I guess you could tell your friends that you're interested in her but then that's just going to create a lot of pressure and unwanted attention. Your friends are going to be watching you as you try to run game on her.

A paintball date for just the two of you would be an awesome date. But with friends around, it's going to be awkward and difficult.

My $0.02
Id say the opposite, heres why:

Paintball is a great idea, but the first thing that occured to me is that its too much for a date.

If you were organising this just for you too, you'd be playing too many cards and going through too much trouble. Its too much organisation and effort for an early date. It would be like getting a reservation in an expensive restaurant and picking her up in a hired limo.

However with your friends you're gona be in your perfect element. It sounds like a great casual 'im going paintballing, come with me' date. You get to have a good time with her without having to look like a weener thats been planning the date for weeks in advance.

Its a good idea, as long as she agrees to go.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Lexington

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Ease said:
Id say the opposite, heres why:

Paintball is a great idea, but the first thing that occured to me is that its too much for a date.

If you were organising this just for you too, you'd be playing too many cards and going through too much trouble. Its too much organisation and effort for an early date. It would be like getting a reservation in an expensive restaurant and picking her up in a hired limo.
Those are two quite different things. Paintball is a pretty simple date. You just go, rent some equipment and that's it! There's not a whole lot of planning involved in that. Nor is it very expensive. It's a great opportunity for some serious horseplay. You could really tease her and have a good time.

However with your friends you're gona be in your perfect element. It sounds like a great casual 'im going paintballing, come with me' date. You get to have a good time with her without having to look like a weener thats been planning the date for weeks in advance.

Its a good idea, as long as she agrees to go.
It seems to me that the poster has established a rapport with this girl. The next step is to isolate and to escalate. Is it easier to escalate with a girl when there's a bunch of people, or is it easier to escalate when you're one-on-one? It would seem to me that this guy would be taking a step backward by taking her on a group date.

Group dates are for when you're already a couple. These two are still just getting to know each other. That process will only be hampered by having a bunch of people around. There's no point in beating around the bush. Cut to the chase and take it to the next level!

That's the way I see it.....
 

Iceberg

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Lexington said:
It seems to me that the poster has established a rapport with this girl. The next step is to isolate and to escalate. Is it easier to escalate with a girl when there's a bunch of people, or is it easier to escalate when you're one-on-one? It would seem to me that this guy would be taking a step backward by taking her on a group date.

Group dates are for when you're already a couple. These two are still just getting to know each other. That process will only be hampered by having a bunch of people around. There's no point in beating around the bush. Cut to the chase and take it to the next level!

That's the way I see it.....

I guess the problem is with him describing her as "LTR-worthy." For me to describe a girl like that means that we've been dating for like 2 months, and already sexual. Which means that I'd be comfortable bringing her around friends.

LTR-worthy for guys on this site might just mean "I've been on a few dates with her and she's really nice."

So I guess it's just a matter of how long these two have been dating. If this is like, their 2nd date, and there's nothing really sexual going on, then yeah. I wouldn't bring her on this date because she hasn't earned the right to meet the friends yet.

However if they've been dating for 6 weeks, 2 months...something like that...then I see no harm in this date.

God...I feel like I'm analyzing politics.
 
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