You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
sh*t so this is a woman thing. man oh man, i hope ben stiller slaps him hard and good and gets his head out of his *ss so that at least when he goes on larry king at some point to explain this he doesn't come off as a big AFC.Latinoman said:Not just any chick. But one that was DIVORCED with a child...and that right after she got divorced...she hooked up with him...then decided to take a "break"...to then get caught with an idiot KISSING in PUBLIC!
View related to discussion...ksoileau said:Leave your politics at the door, or post your views in Anything Else. Not interested in 'em, not what I'm here for.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
KarmaSutra said:Jesus, If I could pass out gold stars you'd get two!
That buttonnosed pr1ck only wants the world to feel sorry for him. I almost killed myself after sitting through that piece of sh1t, You me and Dupree.
Obsidian said:or maybe God.
Correct.dietzcoi said:I think a lot of it is just expectations. He was very sucessful and expected that everything would be wonderful, but it wasn't.
Partially correct. Clinical depression is wired into your brain and the circuits are firing towards the area of your brain that triggers sad feelings, i.e. depression.joekerr31 said:but seriously, it just goes to show how much life depends on your attitude. sure, the fates screw a lot of people, but even people with everything still fall into the abyss.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
hold on a secondWestCoaster said:Partially correct. Clinical depression is wired into your brain and the circuits are firing towards the area of your brain that triggers sad feelings, i.e. depression.
Most North Americans -- especially Americans -- think it's all about "getting tough" and just overcoming it. In most cases, that's wrong. I've worked a lot and know a few people who are clinically depressed, and quite successful professionally AND have also attempted suicide. It's a scary DISEASE, emphasis on disease. These people are now on the proper meds, which work surprisingly well.
Wilson -- I'll bet anyone -- is clinically depressed and no success, money, fame, women, will change your brain circuitry. It's stunning how many people don't know this despite that it's all over the news. It's like telling someone: "You have cancer? Ah, just get over it."
Where did you get that number? The national institute of health's numbers are drastically different and they're doing research on it.joekerr31 said:hold on a second![]()
but id say 80% of people who are depressed (provided they don't have an existing mental illness, like say schizophrenia) can be cured simply by learning
i made it up. hence 'i'd say...'WestCoaster said:Where did you get that number? The national institute of health's numbers are drastically different and they're doing research on it.
Agree, it's just that this board for a long time has totally dismissed depression as a disease and something to man-up/tough it out or whatever. The majority of it is chemical imbalances in the brain.joekerr31 said:i made it up. hence 'i'd say...'
lets not go in to a this authoritative body said this or that.
it will just turn into a masters debate.
agreed, its a disease, and the worst part about it is that its a parts psychological part neurochemical - which makes it VERY hard to treat. I've seen studies where they put electrodes into peoples brains and they wake up the next day saying 'OMG, the world seems totally different. colors are brighter, food taste better, etc.' - in those cases its clear the issue was neurochemical.WestCoaster said:Agree, it's just that this board for a long time has totally dismissed depression as a disease and something to man-up/tough it out or whatever. The majority of it is chemical imbalances in the brain.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
This is an interesting topic. I've wondered if that being human, we all have the potential for depression at some level. We just have different tolerances, or thresholds, to keep it in check.joekerr31 said:agreed, its a disease, and the worst part about it is that its a parts psychological part neurochemical - which makes it VERY hard to treat. I've seen studies where they put electrodes into peoples brains and they wake up the next day saying 'OMG, the world seems totally different. colors are brighter, food taste better, etc.' - in those cases its clear the issue was neurochemical..
Ah, we have the good old Puritan ethic to thank for this fvcked up mentality. You’re not even supposed to enjoy anything now, and if you do, it’s probably a bad thing. You’re supposed to suffer and sacrifice now and your rewards are in heaven. Sensual pleasure is doubly bad.joekerr31 said:you graduate highschool and think life will be the bomb. but its not.
you get your drivers liscence, same thing.
you can drink, but still you aren't overcome with joy.
get a woman, same thing. get another woman, same thing.
you graduate university, same thing.
you get a job. get married. have kids.
you get the body you want.
you get the clothes you want.
and yet, happiness, lasting happiness, is always just around the NEXT corner.
you get in to a routine, you figure happiness MUST come during retirement. so you save and you work and you save and you work. you finally hit retirement age and you don't want to retire! your life has passed you by and you don't know where you missed the happiness train.
no amount of success can offset the existential delimmas that go along with being alive in western society today. you have to figure out happiness in spite of the world around you, because its not going to help you find it in anyway.
am i the only one that got this one?Nighthawk said:Somewhere, a Black Crowe is laughing.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.