"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Overwhelming Oneitis

rawson-1992

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 17, 2014
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Really need help with overwhelming Oneitis with a girl I work with, infact sit basically next to at work.

We'd been hooking up for around 5 months until she moved onto my best friend, they split up then we started hoooking up again. She has me wrapped round her little finger.

I think most of it is that I have to see her everyday that's making this really hard. She's always on my mind and I'm starting to do things totally out of character, getting mad and upset at her. Giving her crap whenever I see her out and I know it's really starting to effect me, her and others around us.

I seriously need advice on how to stop this, it's getting out of hand.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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thunder_god

Master Don Juan
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rawson-1992 said:
Really need help with overwhelming Oneitis with a girl I work with, infact sit basically next to at work.

We'd been hooking up for around 5 months until she moved onto my best friend, they split up then we started hoooking up again. She has me wrapped round her little finger.

I think most of it is that I have to see her everyday that's making this really hard. She's always on my mind and I'm starting to do things totally out of character, getting mad and upset at her. Giving her crap whenever I see her out and I know it's really starting to effect me, her and others around us.

I seriously need advice on how to stop this, it's getting out of hand.
The reason why you developed oneitis is because you have a scarcity mentality. Your worried that you will lose the girl and never be able to find another girl like her. Well here's the kicker. There are literally tonnes of good looking chicks out there. Don't believe me? Go walk around the mall.

The best way that has really worked for me based on my experience is going NC and trying to find multiple other girls who are hotter then her and trying to hook up with them. Once you can successfully do that, you'll forget about this one girl. Hell it may even make your oneitis want you even more. Since you work with her and see her everyday it might be very difficult to go complete NC. I was in your same shoes with a chick in my class. What you need to do is find any chick who is hotter then her from work and focus on her and also go out more often to places where you know will have a lot of chicks, preferably hotter chicks.
 

Meisterman

Senior Don Juan
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This is why you shouldn't get involved with co-workers. Just ignore her and focus on other women/hobbies.
 

Moroder

Don Juan
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While going after chicks may solve part of the problem, the hardest part is "you're always on my mind" (nods to Elvis). So how do you kick her out of your mind once you've come back from HB9 paradise aka the mall?
Keep in mind that she test-drove your co-worker between "being with you". This fücking on-off behavior is POISON for your soul, man. This woman has done you no good, nor will she do you any good. Get over her, unwrap her tentacles from your heart and be free. It is not easy, but you'll make it with your own power and the advice on this board.
And now merry Xmas to all!
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

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