"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Overwhelmed Job Hunting

Dapper Swindler

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I graduated from college in December and have since been trying to find a job. Now that it's almost May, my life has really turned to crap with the hopelessness of looking for a job.

I don't know what it has been like for other people. For me I feel like they just handed me a degree and left me all alone. It's scary when the next steps in life aren't provided for you.

I've been to our school's career center once a week. Every time, they just refer me to some ominous job finding tome with no practical information. I've been through it all. I've been through job finding websites. I don't know exactly what I want to do, where to apply, how to begin.

My life is now just consumed with this despair. All I can think about is how badly I need to find a job and how overwhelming it is. I don't have any friends left. I don't have any hobbies or things I enjoy left. The lease on my apartment expires soon. I want to get my life back. But everything is on hold right now until I get a job.


As for my qualifications. I don't have much work experience, I don't have any contacts, I'm all alone in this. I don't have any direction. I do have three degrees (Computer Science, English, International Studies) but no marketable skills.

I'm wondering how other people made the transition from college life to the work world and if there is any real advice that I haven't been able to find in a book or a career center.

EDIT: Sorry for the whiney post, just getting too stressed and had to let it out.
 
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"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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Your hand can be held for just so long. You're a college educated, grown man. You have been given the tools to start achieving. Start selling yourself by demonstrating your value. Change your attitude too, something tells me that your despair is showing and that isn't a quality that most companies look for in a new employee.
 

Wubbman

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Dude, I know the thought of it sucks, but take something that is beneath your qualifications for now. If that means flipping burgers, then so be it. On my campus there are job guids that are available for free and have advertisements from employers in the area. At least secure some source of income while you continue to search. Something in your field will come along sooner or later. Good luck.
 

SELF-MASTERY

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You're a college educated, grown man. You have been given the tools to start achieving.
I understand the overall theme of your post, but college doesn't give students the "TOOLS" to start achieving. Most of the theories and silly academic things we learn don't transfer to a job. Anyone just entering colllege, have a plan, know what what kind of job your art history major can get you. It's hard out there, good luck.
 

leoncour

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Originally posted by SELF-MASTERY
I understand the overall theme of your post, but college doesn't give students the "TOOLS" to start achieving. Most of the theories and silly academic things we learn don't transfer to a job. Anyone just entering colllege, have a plan, know what what kind of job your art history major can get you. It's hard out there, good luck.

Exactly...why do you think 30% of all students at cummunity colleges already have a BA? Academics live in their insulated world, and have probably never had a real job in their lives. They know nothing about what tools you need or what is in demand in our current work force. Their only goal is to sustain their departments with dopey students so that they can continue their research or write their next book.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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