Overturn? Could it be possible?

[Lord Sidious]

Hi, guys!

I have a situation to let you know and I would like for you to give me your opinion. It´s a little long, but bare with me, ok?

Here it is:

- 4 months ago I met a women. (Just let me tell you first that at that time, unfortunetly I didn´t know SoSuave...). We have the same age (30). We work together (I know, I know...! Bad news...). This is a scenario that will last only until July from the next year, so it´s not a work that will last for many years. Anyaway, back to business: - we met each other at work. There was a tremendous empathy between us from the beginning. We started to talk a lot, begun to have lunch together everyday, flirting, eye contact, stared at me many times at work, invited me to have a snack at her apartment (she lives with 2 friends, girls). All of this on the first 3 weeks of knowing each other. She´s really HOOOOOOT!

I kept the attitude of confidence, funny, eloquent, etc. However I think I could have been a little more indiferent. One thing she always did, was, when she was with me and had to answer the phone, she always said "I´m here with Fabio!". "With Fabio?" - I thought to myself. I didn´t have the chance to know any of her girl friends and she kept saying tho them that she "was with Fabio". She could have said she was with a friend. I guess the talked about me to several of her friends (girls). In my oppinion that was good.

Everything seemed to be on wheels. So, one day, I made a huge mistake (now I know it). During lunch we where talking about each other and I asked her if she was interested. I was honest and let her know I was interested in her. She smiled, took about 5 secs to answer and said "No!". "I´m sorry, I like being with you. I really like chating with you. I like you a lot, but as a friend. Plus, we just met each other. Don´t you think it´s too soon?". I told her "Never mind. Let us just be friends." (with a smile on my face).

Since then I never spoke about that subject to her. I kept a litte farther, but I did not make a huge "cut". When I need to have some laughs with her and other peolpe I did, we had lunch together with other friends, etc. My attitude was "I´m cool without you!". I didn´t show her she was on top. I show indifference, more confidence, more funny, ****y at the point that some other colleagues of mine show really interest on me. The more I "turn her down", the more she keeps her attention on me. I´ve noticed that sometimes she shows some behaviours that APPARENTLY show she´s interested. She stares at me intensely, she stares at my mouth (when we´re talking too close), she DOES NOT avoid my touch, she wants to know my opinions, she wants to now secrets of mine, she really smiles and laughs about sexual jokes I make imagining me and her doing her, I tease her and she likes, etc. Sometimes at work she grabs my arm and walks by my side with me and other peolple see that and she says "Don´t we look fine together?". Plus, several other women that are our coleagues really enjoy me and show interest in me, and I deal well with the situation. So, she already saw that I have "a fan club".


So, here´s my question: - I made a huge mistake. It may be unrecoverable, but, she seems to be (re)gaining interest on me. Do you think it´s possible for me to have something with her? If yes, what do you think I should do? Many times I think about making a move (this time won´t be with words, it would be with ACTIONS), but I kept thinking about the "dump" she gave me. I think a lot that she wants for me to pursue her again, but I keep thinking that it could be just to boost her ego. I won´t be a WUSS one more time. I confess I´m a bit undecided. Should I risk it again?

What do you think about her behaviour? Is it possible for her to be that kind of position "Ooops! I turn him down, but now I´m interested. Should I go after him?" In other words, could her feminine pride making her not to act?



Thanks!

Fabio

 

[horaholic]

Why are you even worried about her. When she insinuates you guys being together, you get to rub in in her face, 'yeah, too bad we're just friends.' then withdraw your attention. She's most likely being an attention hor to you now, cuz she doesnt want to lose your attention. You may think that you made a mistake (which you did) but you were just a friend in her eyes before that anyway. Learn how not to do that. Then she pulled the 'we dont really know each other,' bit, which is plain bullshyt, cuz the more girls know a guy, the deeper into the fz they sink. Just go for the other girls that show you attention.

honestly, I dont think you have anything to lose by just going for it if she implies high interest. The next time she seems open, plant one on her. Why not? Its not going to hurt your cause. You are a man, and if you feel like grabbing her and kissing her, do it. If she dont like it, she can take a hike. Actually, if she pulls the LJBF, try to ignore it and plow through it, unless she REALLY says no. I just say "Oh, just knock off the LJBF crap. Im taking you bowling tomorrow night, and you're gonna like it...And then we're making sweet sweet love!"

BTW, read the dj bible, on the bottom of the page, and also the link in my signature.

 

[Weezy]

I agree with Horaholic.

Bowling should be the first date any guy takes a chick on.. Period.

At least you recognized your mistake in talking about your interest. Get that sh1t out of your head.

If you think she has high interest, then you need to verify it by escalating her physically. If she rejects you then practice indifference, move on and let her come to you. At least then she will think of you as a man and not a friend.

 

[ThatMysteriousGuy]

she wants to know my opinions, she wants to now secrets of mine, she really smiles and laughs about sexual jokes I make imagining me and her doing her,

That stuff is what's losing her...don't do that in the future at all.

Don't discuss your opinions, you shouldn't have any anyway and she's getting MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF INFORMATION.
Don't tell secrets, you're removing mystery and arming her guns.
Don't talk about sex jokes, she'll read that as you thinking about it with her. Too much interest, make her chase.

You'll always end up buddy/girlfriend/LJBF if you keep doing this.

And, overall: Don't be a woman's girlfriend, therapist, or priest.

 

[ATX1001]

I'd say don't go for it because you're just going to dig yourself deeper.

The only chance you may have is to find some other woman (outside work - this is key, otherwise if she knows them she can talk to them about you) and make her jealous of what she may lose. It's win/win for you if you find a hot enough woman outside work too.

 

[Lord Sidious]

Hi, guys!

Thanks for your threads.

I don´t talk about intimate things of mine. That´s a stategy I followed almost since the beginning.

She "plays" too much with me. Smiles a lot, laughs a lot. She touchs me and she doesn´t avoid at all my touch, she whispers in my ear sometimes, she stares at my eyes many times, smiles a lot, etc. But she only has these behaviours at work, when other people are near, I mean, in a environment in wich we are not alone. She had these behaviours with me, alone, when we gone lunch together, before I told her I was interested.

The truth is that we almost see each other at work, because I didn´t invited her to go out anytime since she told she wasn´t interested. I feel that she feels a bit tense when we may be alone. And honestly, so do I...!

She invited me several times to go out at night, but with gilrfriends of her. I went one or two times, but after that I just stop going.

And yeah, I really want to grab her and kiss her, mainly when she hits me smiling or laughing. But the problem is the only chance I have is at work, wich is simply out of question.

I really think about inviting her to have dinner and go out, but my male pride is preventing me from doing the invitation. I keep recalling what she said and I just think to me "I won´t be a wussy again. She won´t have that power again!".




Fabio