"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Overgeneralizing and the concept of personal responsibility

Ricky

Master Don Juan
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Someone posted a good topic about fear and how it should be confronted. The reason we fear rejection is that we automatically overgeneralize, for instance I used to in particular.

Overgeneralization is part of a protective feature in our minds at times. For instance when you get stung by a wasp you learn to fear all wasps to avoid getting stung again. Unfortunately our mind does this for other things like rejection. Sometimes if you get rejected alot you start to fear it so bad that you avoid all dealings with women. But realize we all have picked up hot women and failed with not as hot women in our lives.

The truth of the matter is take responsibility for failures that are obviously your own, such as when you were drunk and obnoxiousness trying to score the girl. Also know where to place responsibility when it isn't your fault. For instance if you followed the true DJ tactics were witty, smiled and had a good conversation and the girl still didn't bite, then you know it is her problem not yours.

That's just how I look at it now. I wish I was that way a while ago.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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I_Only_Live_Once

Senior Don Juan
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Yeah, the way I look at it is that if I did my part right and she still didn't calibrate, then it just shows her personality isn't that great anyway. It's better to know now than waste time later.
 
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