Overcoming the boyfriend objection

[tihash]

Meet a girl last night at a bookstore. Had a nice conversation, etc. She is 20, I am 33, she does not know how old I am. She does not seem like a partier or anything. Is in town another week before going back to college for summer session. She easily gave up her number.

I send a generic what's up text today, and hours later receive: "Hello. Just wanted to let you know I have a boyfriend. You're a very cool guy though!"

First, lesson learned. Should have tried to instadate her last night.

Second, how do I respond? I have no interest in dating her; if I could get her to commit to a meet-up under any pretense it would be worth my time to try and see what she may be willing to do.

I'll tell you this... that boyfriend was not on her mind at all last night! lol

 

[Tiguere]

Move on. She has a man. Girls give out their # for a lot of meaningless reasons. They love the feeling of being pursued. Get out there and meet more girls.

 

[tihash]

I meet plenty of girls. Just was looking for advice on how to respond to this text.

 

[SIX]

I meet plenty of girls. Just was looking for advice on how to respond to this text.

How about, "Thanks, Does Your boyfreind know you give out your number to very cool guys?"

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

Say, "Too bad, I'm going to skullfvck you anyway." Girls love a guy with a sense of humor!

 

[nismo-4]

I have a boyfriend may mean just that or that I'm not interested in you. Counter with your wits.

 

[WORKEROUTER]

WHen this happens to me I just NEXT her and don't even respond. I don't believe you meet that many women because if you did you wouldn't care about what to respond to this broad.

You'd just delete her number and message the next girl down your list. No need to respond.

 

[tinctrar]

Had this happen to me last year right aound this time...

I pursued it and used my wits. Great, right?

Nope. Turned out she was MARRIED and had a KID (at 21 nonetheless)

Next. Dont make the same mistake. She probably gave you her number cause she wants to play.

Dont bother.

 

[FutureSpartan]

These days with callier id and cell phones numbers are extremely worthless....don't get excited if you get one because chances are she either won't answer or will eventually flake.

 

[vatoloco]

"Hello. Just wanted to let you know I have a boyfriend. You're a very cool guy though!"

I'd come back with:

"Of course I am! That's why you gave me your number! "

or

"It's cool. I'm not the jealous type. "

or

"Hey, it's cool. He doesn't have to know about us. "

and of course, next her. If you're looking for a good one, this one's not it. If you're just looking for a quick fvck, I guess it's up to you. I would just next her...

 

[Mistic]

"Already telling me about your problems. I charge for that."

"You can get help for that sort of thing."

"Cool, so what are doing you doing this weekend."

"I have a gf also. Guess we should take it slow for now."

 

[xdreamz]

'i guess we should keep this a secret then. i don't want to hurt his feelings'

 

[Korrupt]

Meet a girl last night at a bookstore. Had a nice conversation, etc. She is 20, I am 33, she does not know how old I am. She does not seem like a partier or anything. Is in town another week before going back to college for summer session. She easily gave up her number.

I send a generic what's up text today, and hours later receive: "Hello. Just wanted to let you know I have a boyfriend. You're a very cool guy though!"

First, lesson learned. Should have tried to instadate her last night.

Second, how do I respond? I have no interest in dating her; if I could get her to commit to a meet-up under any pretense it would be worth my time to try and see what she may be willing to do.

I'll tell you this... that boyfriend was not on her mind at all last night! lol

Okay, here's my take on the "boyfriend" thing. It depends on how serious their relationship is. Since we don't know if she is happy with the guy or not, I think we should judge our chances with the girl on how serious her and her boyfriend are. Some girls go on one date and will say the guy is her boyfriend, not so serious of a relationship. Let me tell you a little story. I was gaming a girl in one of my classes, she must be in her early twenties, I later find out she has a boyfriend. How did I find this out? I was talking to her about spring break, and she told me that her boyfriend and her went to Florida and spent a week with her boyfriends dad. This was the first time she had ever brought up another guy when interacting with me. But in this case, it is obviously pretty serious of a relationship if she took a vacation with him and met/stayed with one of his parents.

I could be wrong, some people are crazy, but I doubt I am. So what I get from this is (this will sound negative) I have no chance with her at this point, they're in too serious of a relationship, and I'm just some random guy in one of her classes.

 

[Jondo]

Say, "Too bad, I'm going to skullfvck you anyway." Girls love a guy with a sense of humor!

that is sooo funnay! Say something like that and she'll probably block your number and report you to the police.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

Say, "Too bad, I'm going to skullfvck you anyway." Girls love a guy with a sense of humor!

****ing hilarious!

 

[Jeffst1980]

Let me preface this by saying I don't condone going after another guy's girl. It's bad karma, usually ends up being wayyy too much drama, and there's simply a multitude of single gals out there to choose from.

But, my take:

Trying to be witty or playing a shared conspiracy frame will backfire on you here. The correct response (if you don't want to next her) is simply,

"That's cool. We can be friends!"

By disqualifying yourself, you've made yourself "safe" to hang out with. Don't misunderstand--this isn't FRIENDZONE, because YOU ARE PUTTING YOURSELF THERE. You can now invite her on group dates and use push/pull all you want i.e. flirt with her hardcore while verbally stating that you're "just friends." Those mixed signals will drive her crazy, and if she was ever thinking of leaving her boyfriend, this'll tip the scales.

If you even so much as hint VERBALLY that you want something more, she will probably forbid herself from hanging out with you, or, worse, her boyfriend will. She'll have already gotten the ego boost she desired when she gave you her number.

'Friendzone' can be your best friend if you use it right. Why? Because no attractive girl will EVER understand why a guy would WANT to be JUST FRIENDS.