"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Overcoming Resistance

adit

Don Juan
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Some girls do resist moves made towards them.Like they don't return calls,dont reply text messages and such.

What do you guys do when this happens?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Mission

Senior Don Juan
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Next them. Why would you waste your precious time on a girl who doesn't reply to you. Go by my one call rule. You call a girl once, and leave a message ONCE, and thats it, then leave the ball in her court as far as calling is concerned, if she doesn't call back, no skin off your back.

--Mission
 

adit

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I'd love to agree to what you've said because then it would be so lovely.If 'NEXT' is the only way out,then is the difference between us DJs and the average folk just that of the approach and the number close?Because a lot of girls dont reply or return calls.Does that mean we next all of them?Read the article 'Confident Persistance' on the main site.It should change your perspective.

There definitely should be another way than to 'NEXT' them...I'm scanning my mind for some answers,I'll let you know what I come up with.
 

08aisaac

Master Don Juan
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Hmm, I usually call her, and see how it goes, maybe call her later if it went well, or talk to her later if I see her again. It's never totally hopeless, just see what happens. David D says to not play the weird ass phone game, just do what you want. I usually do the three day game, just cause I have so many phone numbers, I try to get her by three days atleast. That's where to be yo.
 

Damian

Senior Don Juan
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Resist? From your words, I can already tell that you're approaching this from the wrong angle. Girl's don't RESIST, unless you're talking about LMR, which involves sex. Girls might not call you for a number of reasons. Maybe your attraction game isn't strong enough. Maybe you haven't created enough comfort. Maybe you just simply aren't very memorable.

-Damian
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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