"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Overcoming Objections

Dongfu

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I'd like to focus on a topic that hasn't been given just attention - Overcoming Objections

We've heard all of the typical excuses:

"It's getting late"

"I have to work early"

"We should go out again next weekend"

If you bear down and try to have your way anyway, "Aw come on, I bought you dinner. What, you don't like me? Come on, let's go upstairs," you loose the sale.

If you bailout, "Okay, I guess I'll call you sometime," you'll never hear from her again.

You only option is to discover the truth using a pro-active, low pressure approach. Here's an example of how I overcame a recent objection.

After seeing a movie with a new prospect, we were talking by our cars in the parking lot. It was around midnight, and she said she had to work early.

I smiled and said "that's great that you should mention that because I happen to work in sales." I told her when we get an objection in retail, we have to discover the real truth behind the objection.

She looked at me funny and then laughed. I proceeded to tell her about the 9 step dating system I use, including telling her that I currently had her on step #6. Her interest grew, simultaneously opening her mind and her V.

Continuing to make her laugh, at the same time making it clear that I was in control of the situation, she finally confessed.

She did have to work in the morning, although sleep was not that important to her. She gave the objection because she felt like she was keeping me from getting to bed.

With everything in the clear we proceeded to my place of business where I closed the deal. Another satisfied customer.

Please post the most difficult objections that you overcame, or failed to overcome, so we can fine tune our defenses against this common problem
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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fbplayer06

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An objection I've personally experienced doesn't come to mind, but I like your idea of getting to the truth. Low-pressure prodding and then revelation of the real reason behind a girl's LMR-type objections can actually break through to the F-close. Good post.
 

IM0001

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Any thoughts on how to get a woman who says she is "rather busy" to use a phone for communication instead of text at random times.

I always end up sounding needy and its a Godsend that she has a slightly bad short term memory lol.
 

Dongfu

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It sounds like you need to give her a better reason to talk to you. Can you elaborate a little more on the situation?
 

IM0001

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In general she is great in person, fun, entertaining, great communicator. But away from face to face she text messages as her primary method. She does work 5 days a week, school on the other days, etc.

She does lead a busy life, but at the same time with a 45min commute between work and home I would think any woman could talk for 5 min.

Maby its just her and what happened to her last bf.. I dono.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Dongfu

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Personally, I like texting for several reasons.

1. You have ample time to prepare your statements and replies(remember, everything thing you say either moves you toward the close or away from it. Idle phone conversation does not move you in the right direction.)

2. You can be more mysterious when texting. For example, you can suggest something out of the ordinary to do together-something spontaneous that she would not expect you to suggest. Being that she cannot instantly respond, she has time for your words to penetrate her mind.:up:

If possible, everything you say should stir some channels in her mind that are not usually stimulated. This will slowly work on her, opening her up to the possibility that you are not who she thought you were.:up:

If you spend too much time talking to this girl, she will get comfortable with you, which is exactly what you dont want. :nono:

I suggest that you really analyze the course of your interactions with her, and find a way to make a radical shift.:rockon: :rockon:
 

IM0001

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I think we have texted a bit too much over the past few months. Just a little.

The main thing is she thinks she knows me over texting becasuse I just suck at texting and leaving voicemails.. If i think to long it just doesnt work as well as when im winging it and feeling myself. Shure this can get me into trouble, but for the most part, in person, she seams good in every aspect. In texting. Its always a waiting game. Sometimes Id like to ask her on a date in voice or person much more than through a text and getting a reply to it 2 days later.
It makes me think negative thoughts on whats going on, but as soon as we do meet up or I meet her at her work (rair random occasions) she is responsive, fun, etc. Just a girl I want to be with and it never seams to be enough.
I have a couple other women I am hanging out with but none as stimulating and enjoyable as this one.

Dammit. I know it seams like oneitus atm but im doing my best to keep it back. At the same time she is single and I really want to make a move before summer kicks in full.
 

IM0001

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One more note.

If I do not contact her for a while.. She will probably not contact me, but If I see her in person, she WILL ask why I don't text her any more.

Just a note. See what leverage I still might have with this lol.

I feel she likes me but at the same time she seams to be holding back for some reason...
 

92 GSR-4

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Hey nice job Dongfu, I liked the parry to her objection.

IM0001, I think you are coming accross needy. I've been in the same situation where chicks text me after we have exchanged numbers. It always annoys me, so alot of times I'll cut it short or won't respond. Sometimes they say "hey whats up?" and I'll be like "not much, call me if you want to talk". Bam. Or if they ask me what I'm doing I'll say "im hanging out at a friends, doing some drinking. Come if you want, call for directions". Either way, I've tried the whole conversation over texting, and all I ended up with was blue balls and a high phone bill. Cut her off for a while, or let her know your done texting her at least. I doubt she's interested at this point, but maybe she is. Also, NEVER leave voicemails unless its important. Never.
 

IM0001

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Ya i seam to have a couple people saying in needy.. Damn its like if you want something, your needy. Really starting to piss me off.

Either way this has been a bit on and off in the past. Ill let it cool for a week or so then give her a visit and see if she is up for a more unique date.

Ill go from there. I do need to meet other women in the mean time... But man is she a hard one to overlook.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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