Over use of techniques, taking mindsets to the extreme - the other side of the coin.

[Accension]

Not a widely discussed topic here but an important one none the less.
Over using techniques and taking mindsets to the extreme is usually what happens when a fresh 'DJ' arrives completely immersing them selves in theory.

Online and Text Messaging.
It's really important to note that anything you text and say online will be taken literally as the girl can't exactly see your cheeky smile and the non-serious tone of your voice when you call her a 'slut'.

I've gotten into loads of arguments and been completely misinterpreted by trying to tune a girl online and I'm willing to bet you have too.
Forget a simple smiley face and suddenly you're coming off as a jerk and not in the good sense either.

Even if you do put a smiley face after joking with her she may not understand and just get mad.
This is why you should keep non-verbal communication to a minimum, it should be a side dish not the main course or you'll be setting yourself up for trying to analyse and understand everything she's said.

Add how long she took to reply, the length of her reply in comparison to yours and I guarantee you are well on your way to getting frustrated.

Over Qualifying
This is a HUGE problem. Typically a fresh DJ reads a new technique and immediately applies it to his game as a result it's over done.
Qualifying is simply getting the girl to prove herself to you but if you over do this, it gets incredibly tedious and no fun at all for her.

I've also been a down right jerk when it comes to over qualifying.
Like asking the girl straight up if she's a sluT, which is stupid because even a sluT would answer no and all you are doing is appearing as a huge dik.

Cut it down and make it fun, qualifying should never make her feel negative like how I used to try do it.
Qualifying should be fun and ****y but not be over the top trying to qualify her when she's already after you.

****y & Funny at every chance.
Absolutely horrible. People start to think you're really 'try hard', you shouldn't consciously try to be C&F not only will you over do it but when you do, do it.
It'll be un-natural like you are trying hard to get them to laugh and be the shi7.

Cut it down and dish it out when you have something C&F to say, there's no need to use it at every opportunity.
A little goes a long way but a lot goes a long way to being a try hard.

Overly Hard to Get.
This is a stupid one too. Do you honestly expect the women to stay around if you're flat out flaking on her purposely just to appear the prize or what ever you want to call it.

Come on, you may be a cool guy but you're not a brilliant prince.
This 'I'm the shi7' mindset isn't as positive as you think it may be.
You'll actually lose a lot of girls by pushing them away when you could be pulling them in hard and fast.

I'd rather be easy and get laid like a porn star and have them come back for the best seX of their life rather than them running away to a guy that actually acts like he wants them around!

Cut it down! Sure don't give everything away but at a certain point you have to give them SOMETHING.
Doesn't matter how attracted to you she is ultimately she's chasing you in the first place because she thinks you have something she wants but now, if you keep having her chase it's the same as saying "Maybe I don't have anything but you can keep playing my games and find out!"

I'm sure you guys can think of more but those came to mind straight away.
Over doing what we do here is a problem, learn the balance.

 

[JCballin88]

Overly Hard to Get.
This is a stupid one too. Do you honestly expect the women to stay around if you're flat out flaking on her purposely just to appear the prize or what ever you want to call it.

Come on, you may be a cool guy but you're not a brilliant prince.
This 'I'm the shi7' mindset isn't as positive as you think it may be.
You'll actually lose a lot of girls by pushing them away when you could be pulling them in hard and fast.

I'd rather be easy and get laid like a porn star and have them come back for the best seX of their life rather than them running away to a guy that actually acts like he wants them around!

Cut it down! Sure don't give everything away but at a certain point you have to give them SOMETHING.
Doesn't matter how attracted to you she is ultimately she's chasing you in the first place because she thinks you have something she wants but now, if you keep having her chase it's the same as saying "Maybe I don't have anything but you can keep playing my games and find out!"

I'm sure you guys can think of more but those came to mind straight away.
Over doing what we do here is a problem, learn the balance.

This is one of the concepts I struggle with a lot. In theory, the whole "I'm the prince, girls should have to work for MY attention" thing sounds good, it usually doesn't work for me. If I sit around waiting for the girls to step up to the plate, I end up getting ignored and it essentially sends me in a time capsule back to my wAFC days where I never would have talked to them anyways out of nervousness.

 

[EFFORT]

This is one of the concepts I struggle with a lot. In theory, the whole "I'm the prince, girls should have to work for MY attention" thing sounds good, it usually doesn't work for me. If I sit around waiting for the girls to step up to the plate, I end up getting ignored and it essentially sends me in a time capsule back to my wAFC days where I never would have talked to them anyways out of nervousness.

Yeah i know what you mean. Me and my friends talk about this. I understand the whole idea of the "i'm the prize" mindset but it can really be destructive. If a guy is weird socially he can do some approaches and get blown off and just shrug it off saying "thats there loss" ....when in reality its actually his loss since he has no sexual options and wants to hook up with them. He also gets to maintain the its them not me attitude and miss the social feedback he's getting by being blown out to actually improve his weak points.

 

[bukowski_merit]

Not a widely discussed topic here but an important one none the less.
Over using techniques and taking mindsets to the extreme is usually what happens when a fresh 'DJ' arrives completely immersing them selves in theory.

Online and Text Messaging.
It's really important to note that anything you text and say online will be taken literally as the girl can't exactly see your cheeky smile and the non-serious tone of your voice when you call her a 'slut'.

I've gotten into loads of arguments and been completely misinterpreted by trying to tune a girl online and I'm willing to bet you have too.
Forget a simple smiley face and suddenly you're coming off as a jerk and not in the good sense either.

Even if you do put a smiley face after joking with her she may not understand and just get mad.
This is why you should keep non-verbal communication to a minimum, it should be a side dish not the main course or you'll be setting yourself up for trying to analyse and understand everything she's said.

Add how long she took to reply, the length of her reply in comparison to yours and I guarantee you are well on your way to getting frustrated.

This is the only thing you wrote that i disagree with. But maybe im just good with words and conveying when im obviously joking... I rarely get misunderstood when im joking through text/email... I will say that i sometimes think a girl is being serious only to get the "i was only joking" response.... whoops...

Over Qualifying
This is a HUGE problem. Typically a fresh DJ reads a new technique and immediately applies it to his game as a result it's over done.
Qualifying is simply getting the girl to prove herself to you but if you over do this, it gets incredibly tedious and no fun at all for her.

I've also been a down right jerk when it comes to over qualifying.
Like asking the girl straight up if she's a sluT, which is stupid because even a sluT would answer no and all you are doing is appearing as a huge dik.

Cut it down and make it fun, qualifying should never make her feel negative like how I used to try do it.
Qualifying should be fun and ****y but not be over the top trying to qualify her when she's already after you.

I agree. And what's worse are the guys who openly tell the girl they're qualifying them because they think that's what you need to do. Or making it apparent that you're asking her a series of questions that are made to see if she's "worthy" of you.... i don't even really qualify that much directly... i mostly indirectly qualify... through means of story telling about past things i disliked and liked....

****y & Funny at every chance.
Absolutely horrible. People start to think you're really 'try hard', you shouldn't consciously try to be C&F not only will you over do it but when you do, do it.
It'll be un-natural like you are trying hard to get them to laugh and be the shi7.

Cut it down and dish it out when you have something C&F to say, there's no need to use it at every opportunity.
A little goes a long way but a lot goes a long way to being a try hard.

not only will it make you seem "try hard" - it will also make you seem arrogant as hell! and no joke - it can also make it seem as if you have some social disorder... i've seen a guy be overly C+F to the point it seemed like he had a mental problem.... C+F is a HUGE crutch for a lot of guys... i'd suggest taking it out of your game until you develope other avenues to walk down... then bring it back and sprinkle it in from time to time... when the oppurtunity presents itself! (and it will plenty of times throughout the interaction... in fact, the woman will often set you up for it on purpose).

Overly Hard to Get.
This is a stupid one too. Do you honestly expect the women to stay around if you're flat out flaking on her purposely just to appear the prize or what ever you want to call it.

Come on, you may be a cool guy but you're not a brilliant prince.
This 'I'm the shi7' mindset isn't as positive as you think it may be.
You'll actually lose a lot of girls by pushing them away when you could be pulling them in hard and fast.

I'd rather be easy and get laid like a porn star and have them come back for the best seX of their life rather than them running away to a guy that actually acts like he wants them around!

Cut it down! Sure don't give everything away but at a certain point you have to give them SOMETHING.
Doesn't matter how attracted to you she is ultimately she's chasing you in the first place because she thinks you have something she wants but now, if you keep having her chase it's the same as saying "Maybe I don't have anything but you can keep playing my games and find out!"[/COLOR]

Agree again...

 

[cyp6]

This was the reason for most of my failures with girls back my highschool days, as a fresh DJ I pushed the prize theory to hard...

 

[playerone]

It was different for me. When i was still awfully fresh, I had doubts about the prize theory and some other stuff written on here. I didn't dare to try it at first, so i took inner game more seriously, as a base to fall back on. From there, you slowly pick up the game.

 

[omkara]

i don't even really qualify that much directly... i mostly indirectly qualify... through means of story telling about past things i disliked and liked....

Yeah totally. Recently I just happened to mention to this girl an anecdote about how some girl disrespected me and I never talked to her again. I didn't do it on purpose, but I noticed that she is very careful now about not crossing lines of disrespect with me. Of course it helps that she is Mexican and comes from a culture where men are respected. But still, it made it very clear where the line was so there is no unnecessary conflict.

 

[marinetti]

Great post man. I'd say the entire community is leaning towards this point right now, and is learning how to combine being a genuinely fun and cool person with the goal of meeting more women. It's a tough line to learn, mostly because you won't actually get it until you do it right to learn the 'feeling' of the whole thing.

 

[Accension]

Bumped for the avoiding of messing up and not getting this.
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