Over Analyzing or what?

[etmsgblvr]

Alright first post here tell me what you think:
I know this girl from High School (im now 26,in the military overseas) I really dug this girl and she never left my mind, although we never really hooked up in high school....just a mutal attraction.

Now going forward to just a few weeks ago, I found her contact information and e-mailed her, after all the usual pleasantries, I tell her im coming home in a few weeks and would like to see her, she says O.K. let me know when your coming and Ill take care of the rest......O.K. so far so good.

In the e-mail I sent her my picture, she goes on to say that I remind her of her dad, both physically and personality wise....Not sure what to make of that?!?!?!

The very next e-mail I say I always liked her and never forgot her and then asked...no "Give me your number, and Ill call ya" lines. Now its been a week and no answer no nothing.

So question is did I come off too strong, is this girl even interested or what, my gut feeling is yeah she is, or is this just BS and she is playin me?

Seriously I want her number cause e-mails suck, how long do I wait or how do I address the next e-mail? Thanks from accross the ocean!

 

[flexion_]

Well your mistake was telling her that you always liked her and never forgot her. You just just threw all your cards on the table - that will most likely be a deal breaker.

See you just came off as a chumpy and creepy stalker type guy now. Next time if you want to call her just say, "I hate this e-mail thing... give me your number so we can catch up!".

If she e-mails you back... No more telling her you like her stuff... No compliments to her... Show her you like her by being a fun guy to be around and communicate with...

 

[etmsgblvr]

Alright thanks, I havent talked to her in a week, Do I even bother e-mail'ing her and when?
Any more opinions?

 

[Evangenlion]

you know what they say, daughters marry men who reminds them of thier fathers (that is if her father was a good father and not those molesting types lol).

i did like the shortcut you took by laying your cards down flat, that was risky, but i love risk.

its only been a week.

email her a few days before u arrive back home and ask "did u arrange anything for me?" or something like that. she did say she would handle it, so in a way she owns you that at least.

there is still damage control to be done. you came on to strong.

remember this golden rule for next time...."you never say i like u , till u hear from her first"

 

[etmsgblvr]

Cool thanks! Being in the military makes you confident (sometimes as arrogant) cause of the no B.S. atmosphere.

Yeah I came off too strong, but its done now.

Thanks people!

 

[joekerr31]

you know, there are no absolute rules.

i mean, sometimes you'll do what you did and a woman will react with flattery and be like "really? oh my god, that is so sweet." - this is if she's into you and perhaps felt the same way.

if she doesn't know what she wants and a) isn't attracted to or b) is coasting through life and doesn't really like "no game" statements then she's apt to just cut loose.

people are strange. you can do one thing one night and get a great response, and do the same thing the next night and get a lousy one. the real key is to be able to know what state a woman is in when youa re talking to her - ie. whether she is looking for straight up talk or whethe she wants to play the seduction game.

most women like the seduction game.
but there are some who like straight up.

J

 

[etmsgblvr]

Interesting Joekker,
I never though of that, well since I have'nt talked to her in awhile, how do I go about turning the tables? Her non-response tell me that either she isn't interested or she does want the seduction poared on thick....or try a classic take away line.

 

[Ricky]

Act like you didn't say that in the email.

Email her again to let her know you expect to see her.

She may be dating someone who knows. but she can make time for you.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Ricky
Act like you didn't say that in the email.

Email her again to let her know you expect to see her.

She may be dating someone who knows. but she can make time for you.

Good advice. Never open up that much without identifying just how interested she is in you. And even when you find out that its high enough, don't do it via an email, very AFC.

Think of it like fishing; first you have to use what you think is a good type of bait and drop it. Then you jiggle it a bit to attract their interest. If the bait is good, they'll go for it. But it doesn't end there, you still have to reel her in (this is where the problem occurred). Try to reel her in too fast, you will break your line and loose her. Take it easy and play with her by reeling her in a bit, giving the line a bit of play before reeling her in some more and you have a really good chance of pulling her completely in.

 

[etmsgblvr]

Good Advice people, Yeah what a chump I am....Ill just play it off like nothing happened.
Does that article Confident Persistance apply here since im half-way around the planet?

 

[joekerr31]

ok you gotta make some assumptions here.

1) she's not jumping back with a response. thats a clear indicator that shes not interested. Think about it, when a woman you got the hots for contacts you, you respond within a day or two.

2) she likes, but your response lets her know she can have you whenever she wants. as a result her thinking is - oh well, ill get back to him when i have time

either way you cut it shes not being upfront and letting you know where she stands with things. so you got 3 choices.

1) assume she's not really into you that much and move on

2) assume she likes you but knows she has control. in this case its best to pretend like you said nothing and formalize a date to see her.

3) assume she was into but no longer is. For this outcome you gotta mess with her head. I suggest emailing her and telling her "Suzie, thanks so much for wanting to meet up when i get back. Any chance we could do it the week after i get back? I've been overseas for a while now and theres a great girl who wants to go out when i get back. I'm really looking forward to being able to date again and was hoping we could pal up the week after".

its a high risk move, but i think its one you gotta make. it lets her know you have options. the thing is you gotta be prepared not to see her that first week (and maybe longer).

Anyway, you basically gave her the control over you and now you gotta yank it back. Lying isn't always the best, but sometimes its the only option once someone knows they can jerk your chain around.

J

 

[Royal Elite]

You're biggiest mistakes is trying to be a pyschic!

If you want to know if you came off to strong simply write an email saying "Haven't heard back from you, hope I didn't scare you off!"