"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Outcome Dependent

iFEEL

Don Juan
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Not Being Outcome Dependent

We are in general more outcome dependent. We always search for something that will bring us what we want as fast as possible. There's a cliche for this known as the "magic-bullet".

But the thing with all these outcomes is that it all comes down to one thing we always experience.

Every time when we crave so much for getting something as fast as possible we then totally forget about it.

As soon as we get it we are the **** of the world. But after a while the feelings fades away.

So it doesn't really matter if we get what we want since we don't truly appreciate it when we get it.

What's more beautiful of succeeding is the path we're taking towards or destination. That's why, the true process, the path, has so much more value than the whole outcome.

In the process we have the ability to be competitive, to be mean, to be playful, to take it seriously or to take it playfully ...

Out of all possibilities we always seem to chose the one that brings nothings. And that is "searching for a way to get it as fast as possible". And when we don't achieve it we beating ourselves down and being depressed and frustrated.

The way I understand outcome attached life I can only see the EGO suffering and succeeding and then suffering even more.

I'm not an expert in psychology and the EGO ****. But I know one thing.

When you're a successful boxer your ego grows. It's always having this thought in it's little ****ed up head: "I'm the best because I beat everybody". The EGO would be great if it didn't have all the things that MUST occur to think positively.

So for me the EGO is just an optimistic and positive thought followed with a term that must be met in order for the optimistic thought to work.

And when it happens that you loose once. The term doesn't met and your ego collapses and you easily become frustrated, angry and disappointed.

When we let go of the egoistical outcome thinking our positive and motivating beliefs about ourself no longer depend on the results.

And we can chose to think that we just know every girl that I meet wants to **** me already. And with not caring about the results we will just concentrate on the process and make the seduction the most exciting, playful and full of action path ever.

Even if I fail to bed her she could tell all her friends that want to jump me how it was like when she was hanging with me.

To be honest with myself and you I have not yet achieved total outcome independence. I still seem to find little subtle details that I would never thought about being outcome dependent. Since our brains have got used to this thinking we can barely notice when we are outcome dependent and when we aren't. Focus on being outcome independent and you shall win over your egoistical thinking.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Huffman

Master Don Juan
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Validation is a drug. It's hard to really be indifferent.
 
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