"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Out of the game need advice

H

hithard

Master Don Juan
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So I’ve been out of the dating scene for a while due to being in yet another relationship (mutual split after getting bored). Anyway have been practicing talking to women again as I turned into a workaholic and ignored my social life. Must be vibing the right way lately as I have been attracting women pretty easily.
For the last few days have been chatting to a girl that works at a cafe. Great body 8 face maybe a 6 though. I have been working nearby to this cafe the last week so have more or less been practicing some banter/flirting with her as I'm a little rusty. Today she pursed me pretty heavily and we exchanged numbers. She is one of three I have been warming up on and was a little taken back at how quickly she escalated. The others are still flirting with a bit more room before we hit anything serious. I'm not really looking for anything steady, in fact I'm not to sure what I want apart from some primal urge release.
I am literally two weeks out of a relationship, so still have that break up nervousness about banging other women and am wondering how to proceed from here. I'm worried if I take some me time I will start going backwards as I get comfortable making excuses not to talk to women (I'm an introvert at heart). Considering I broke it off with the ex,I feel a bit dodgy dating that soon.
Any advice?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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J

jophil28

Master Don Juan
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You are doing OK. Keep getting numbers and going out with new women.

BTW, what did you learn from your last LTR ?
 
H

hithard

Master Don Juan
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jophil28 said:
BTW, what did you learn from your last LTR ?
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That LTR's bore me in the end. Unfortunately spinning plates got tiresome as well and that led me to the LTR. The ex ticked a lot of boxes for the positive but the routine of a relationship just kind of ground me down.

I also have another ex with whom I share a child. I suspected that she was BPD minimum and am a bit worried I may have been affected by that mentally. I was young, had a captain save a ho attitude and was unaware at how attention hors worked. I think I was bitter for a while, but now I'm back to enjoying women on all levels.

Right now I will just keep moving forward.
 
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