"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Out of the blue

Egocontrol

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This girl that i was working on 3 months ago, whom i havent called since then (I nexted her when she didnt call me back) calls me today out of the blue. I didnt have my phone so she left a voicemail telling me how she missed me and wanted to see me. what do you in this situation. Im kinda curious as to what she wants so im thinking about actually calling her back, but i dont know what i should do. whats your input?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Desdinova

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If you've never dated her, now's the perfect time to strike and set up a date. When you call her, chat with her for like 10 minutes, and set up a date with her. You already know her a bit, so make it a good action date.
 

sapphire

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Tell us a little history before you cut things off. Were you dating her or just talking? Seems to me that you had to establish somekind of rapport for her to call you after so long.

Generally its a good sign since she obviously was thinking about you all that time. But, don't appear desperate by accepting a date or going out with her immediataley. Some chicks just need an ego boost especially right after they broke things off with another guy so they will call some other dude to spill their emotions on. Don't be that dude.

If she seems genuinely interested then set a meeting under your terms not hers.
 

Desdinova

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But, don't appear desperate by accepting a date or going out with her immediataley.
Personally, I suggest striking while the iron's hot. Time games won't get you anywhere but dateless. Within the time that you spend chatting to her on the phone, her IL could drop and some other guy will strike first.
 

sapphire

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I respectfully disagree.

The same thing happened to me awhile back. This chick I had a crush on and who I wanted to fyck but had given up on called me 6 months after I cut things off and suggested that we meet. I was all excited and resorted to the strike while the iron's hot strategy and immedietely offered to meet up with her. Guess what? That was the last I ever heard from her. Why? Because I appeared desperate to see her so soon. She probably thought that I was some desperate horny loser that had nothing going for those six months.

In this case if a chick calls from out the blue after several months the last thing you want to convey is desperation by wanting to hook up immediately. The thing to do is to reestablish the rapport that was lost and then take things from there and then maybe offer to meet up in a week or so.

That way you give the impression that you have other more important things to do and other women on your plate.

If a girl is truly interested in you she will be more than happy to wait a little longer and I think that will raise not lower her IL.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Maverick001

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Egocontrol,

If you want to see this girl then see her, but play it cool.

Call her and since she's interested in seeing you, you can now set the pace.

Crank her up a little by saying, in your first conversation that you might be able to fit her in your social schedule in about 3 or 4 days but you just can't remember off the top of your head when there's a free time slot.

Then have her call you in about 2 days and then set up a meeting in another 2 or 3 days after that.

If you've never dated her before, keep the first meeting very low key and casual. Say a coffee date. Have her meet you there. Stay for about 15 to 20 minutes, just to qualify that she's not crazy. Keep the air of mystery going and don't set-up a second meeting. Call her in a couple of days and then set-up the second meeting.

If you've dated her before, Desdinova's suggestion for going on an action date is on the money. I like mini-golf myself mostly because most women can't putt worth a damn and I'm more than willing to help them with perfecting their swing. Picture standing behind the girl with your arms around her and your hands on her hands. Major kino opportunities.

Where I am there's an indoor mini-golf course that glows in the dark. Alone with the girl, in the dark and major kino. Whoever thought of this glow in the dark mini-golf concept is a f#cking genius!

Keep us posted on what happens.

Cheers,
Mav
 

NewMan

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She made the move and called you.

Call her back.

Play it cool.

She what she wants.

Chances are she will ask you if you want to hook up.

Be cool - take your time. And plan a day the week after. Tell her your busy this week/weekend.
 

Egocontrol

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Update

Okay update.I called her 2 days ago and... she hasnt called me back... hmmm i think i was right nexting her, shes a total headcase.
 

Blue Phoenix

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Why do you say she's a headcase?

Anyway, she's playing mind games, move on!

It appears to be a bait calling, don't fall for that!
 

Egocontrol

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Blue Phoenix, i agree with you, but what is the meaning of a bait calling?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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