out of the blue. confused

[dirkus]

So anyway, we broke up about 20 months ago. She quickly jumped on some morons **** (the guy barely earns any money and has a pathetic job. Plus is much older) but anyway they are all lovey dovey and it's been all over facebook for the past year and a half or so. They married about a year ago as well.

Anyway, after about 18 months of no contact, nothing, complete blackout. No "Hi how are ya's" no facebook congrats on anything or happy birthdays

She text me last night at midnight

"Hey remember how we would tailgate for hours before the Eagles games. That was just awesome...good times. I think of it often and smile"

what the?

This was a married woman texting a single man at 12:30 on a Sat. night.

I just sent back "yea it was fun" and promptly deleted the texts. Nothing from her since. Even felt kind of dirty answering the text.

What was the point of this. Can you speculate what's going on?

 

[Renegade357]

What was the point of this. Can you speculate what's going on?

First of all nice job on the no contact. She probably knows she screwed up with you and it's been in the back of her mind for a while. If I were you I'd tell her to go jump in the river. She got what she deserved and you are better off.

 

[instantnoodles]

Lolllll are you serious? Did you just make that?

If you're so paranoid, go after what you want. Don't be chicken sh1t. DO SOMETHING. Be a MAN.

 

[dirkus]

There are a lot of unhappily married people. When the marriage goes south, they start thinking about "the good old days."

I wouldn't have responded to that text.

yea you're right I shouldn't have. But I was caught off guard. Just got home from a night out and still a little tipsy. Still no excuse.

but I didn't say anything to lead her on.

 

[Renegade357]

Lolllll are you serious? Did you just make that?

If you're so paranoid, go after what you want. Don't be chicken sh1t. DO SOMETHING. Be a MAN.

Uhh, she's married now. Not available. Waste of time.

 

[instantnoodles]

Uhh, she's married now. Not available. Waste of time.

There's probably a reason.

a) he didn't go after what he wanted.
b) all he did was day dream loll


People need to take charge. Be a man.

 

[Renegade357]

There's probably a reason.

a) he didn't go after what he wanted.
b) all he did was day dream loll

Many women just make dumb decisions, have poor taste in men then end up regretting it when it's too late. They are emotional creatures of the present. They don't think long term. It's only about whoever's rod gets them excited in that moment. Welcome to our sick reality.

 

[dirkus]

I hear you...you did nothing wrong. It's easy to respond to texts from an old flame.

Just be wary--she might text again.

What will you choose to do if she texts you again?

There's no right or wrong answer. Just something to think about.

I won't respond unless it's a "I've got a bomb trapped to my chest and only an incoming text within 30 seconds diffuses" type of text

 

[instantnoodles]

Many women just make dumb decisions, have poor taste in men then end up regretting it when it's too late. They are emotional creatures of the present. They don't think long term. It's only about whoever's rod gets them excited in that moment. Welcome to our sick reality.

k..

 

[dirkus]

There's probably a reason.

a) he didn't go after what he wanted.
b) all he did was day dream loll


People need to take charge. Be a man.

going after what you want doesn't always = getting it.

plus so much time has passed...fire isn't exactly burning for her.

 

[instantnoodles]

going after what you want doesn't always = getting it.

plus so much time has passed...fire isn't exactly burning for her.

yes it does. how do you know if you haven't tried? you can sit and mope or you could've tried at least you knew you did your best

I don't mean now since it's too late, she's already married. but you wouldn't be moping if you knew you did everything you could

 

[Renegade357]

yes it does. how do you know if you haven't tried? you can sit and mope or you could've tried at least you knew you did your best

I don't mean now since it's too late, she's already married. but you wouldn't be moping if you knew you did everything you could

Haha, if effort = success with women we wouldn't need this forum. We don't control how they think or what they do, only what we do.

 

[instantnoodles]

Well something tell me he didn't do much he was just scared. Living in his head.

Anyway, whatever. If I was the woman, I wouldn't remember sh1t! I'm not like a happy-go-lucky loser who remembers the "Good Times" oooOoooh. Big deal. All is flushed down the drain when they don't do sh!T.

No point of keeping memories for nothing unless you are with that person

 

[Renegade357]

All is flushed down the drain when they don't do sh!T.

I don't get it? What do you mean "don't do sh8888t?" You wanting this guy to chase after and beg the girl to take him back after their breakup? Begging never works. Go read the no-contact thread if you don't believe me.

 

[instantnoodles]

I don't get it? What do you mean "don't do sh8888t?" You wanting this guy to chase after and beg the girl to take him back after their breakup? Begging never works. Go read the no-contact thread if you don't believe me.

begging works for me. At least I know they want me.

I recognize hard when i see it.

people who don't appreciate when someone comes back have no respect or appreciation in life. don't know the value of things.

 

[Skyline]

There are a lot of unhappily married people. When the marriage goes south, they start thinking about "the good old days."

I wouldn't have responded to that text.

This is spot on.

This applies for general relationships as well. The only reason why they bring up "memories" is to ignite a spark of emotion from you to "come back." Not responding or using indifference in your response would of both worked in my opinion.

This has happened only once in my experience(about 2 months ago) and I replied with indifference because I already knew she lost her chance on the greatest guy she'd ever meet.

 

[Renegade357]

begging works for me. At least I know they want me.

I recognize hard when i see it.

people who don't appreciate when someone comes back have no respect or appreciation in life. don't know the value of things.

And this is why we don't take relationship advice from females. I think in reality you are hard up for some guy who won't come back. You would love for him to beg you but he won't.

Begging doesn't work.

 

[dirkus]

Begging has never gotten me anywhere in life...aside from a lollypop when I was 4.

noodles, sometimes the Neanderthal approach doesn't work. There is something to be said for tact.

If she thought this one little missive in the dead of night was going to spur on a beg fest, she was wrong. I don't care if she was sitting there with her legs open and her husband 2000 miles away. I wasn't crawling back.

 

[instantnoodles]

Begging has never gotten me anywhere in life...aside from a lollypop when I was 4.

noodles, sometimes the Neanderthal approach doesn't work. There is something to be said for tact.

If she thought this one little missive in the dead of night was going to spur on a beg fest, she was wrong. I don't care if she was sitting there with her legs open and her husband 2000 miles away. I wasn't crawling back.

Not begging but asking, initiating

 

[Renegade357]

Not begging but asking, initiating

Women help guys when they like them. Most guys don't know that. That's why this chick texted him in the first place after such a long time. Year late, many dollars short.