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Other guys hitting on date

christie

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I do have a take on this. There is a lot of “Alphas ignore and yada-yada....

There are lines for every person you ever meet. Professionally. Socially and of course with a woman.

Being “butt-hurt” is the wrong somehow frowned upon reaction. A public display of out of control emotion or getting overly upset on the surface would be the incorrect action. Especially in a get together setting.

This is where a good man is discreet in his delivery and handling of the situation. Firstly, to openly hit on your date, girlfriend or wife in front of you is unacceptable conduct in any setting. Do not listen to all the red-pill dogma in this thread. It’s bull shyt.

Unless your woman is hideous, fat or unattractive, men will always flirt and even boldly try to pick her up. There’s absolutely nothing you can do about that.
Ignore the woman in the thread as well. Her self interest is glaring. She knows exactly what she’s doing.

Rule: Never allow anyone to belittle you or debase you without letting them know it’s unacceptable. Especially a woman. It doesn’t matter if it’s a boss.
Tact may be required.

The correct action is to observe it. Confront the truth of it. Then wait for an opportunity to address it. Your analytical mind must stay in place.
Wait for the offenders to separate away from you and your date.
When you see where they go, you calmly excuse yourself and go to them.

Fact: Just being a relative does not grant liberties to come on to another man’s date, girlfriend, or wife. Especially in front of you. This is a severe masculine shyt test. For some men, others wouldn’t dare do it in front of him. Just by his masculine presence.

Fact: They did it because they knew you wouldn’t do anything about it. Where did they get the idea that it was ok? That’s on you. In the past, it was ascertained by the offenders that they were more dominant as it pertains to you. You have to own it. Then fix it.

With these two facts in mind, once you get up to them you let them know that they are out of line. There are lots of ways to do this. That’s up to you. As long as you deliver it as though you are in command.

I watched a fellow Marine do it one time after a drunk Marine hit on his girlfriend. I was standing right there. After the arsehole separated he eventually followed him and had the “talk”. He told him that if he did it again he would bash his skull in.
For some reason the guy wasn’t so drunk anymore.

The point is it doesn’t have to be that extreme but it must be done in man world. The woman cannot be present directly. Trust me, she knows where you are going and what you are doing. Don’t you dare believe all that red-pill alpha garbage running through this thread. A woman LOVES a man with boundaries. Especially when he has the social brilliance to handle man stuff in the man paradigm.

Now, some of these guys are applying this without a grain of sense connected to it. The man that looses it and makes a scene is definitely frowned upon. But the man who handles his business and life is respected. Poindexter’s miss-apply what they’ve been told or read because they have no real life experience. They are just repeating it is all.

What are the two most important things a woman must feel when out with you? Protection and Safety. There is something called redemption but that’s another subject.

Despite her being able to take care of herself, she absolutely does want to see that the man she is with ensures those things with his masculinity. Masculinity is everything. Are you also going to let your cousin rape her too? Huh?
I’m not saying she is thinking these things in her mind. Her biology and subconscious are witness to it. There’s nothing more sexy than a man who knows what’s ok and what’s not. He stands his ground and won’t back down. He is a single point of light. BUT he must be a professional when he executes this. This is impressive. Trust me on this. She’s fukking you later. Act like a douche and you’re done. Act like a pvssy and do nothing and as a man, you are nothing and she absolutely cannot trust you. The warm feeling she had will be gone.
good job, you and espi know what time it is
 

TheFinalLine

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OP, let’s talk about honor. Honor is not what your friends think or what your best friend thinks it is.

Women, as I have observed have a different code and your code is not transferable to them. If you think that they have no honor, you are misapplying honor. Honor cannot be enforced on another.

Honor or lack of honor resides in you and you alone. Greatness is not changing in the face of adversity. Despite all the reasons to. Including social pressure. Honor is ones own personal code. Look at all the crazies running around acting like they’re gut shot because they aren’t getting life for nothing. They made a choice and left the world of honor. Never be the butt end of a joke or the recipient of the actions of those with no honor.
Here are a few things that I like to have and reside in me. I have failed at all of them at different times in my life. There is no shame in failing, you just get back on the horse.



1 Never desert a comrade in need, in danger or in trouble.

2. Never disparage yourself or minimize your strength or power.

3. Never need praise, approval or sympathy.

4. Your self-determinism and your honor are more important than your immediate life. Better to be dead

5. Don’t desire to be liked or admired.

6. Be your own adviser, keep your own counsel and select your own decisions.

7. Do not give or receive communication unless you yourself desire it. (The S&D you guys have been talking about. Been around a very, very long time.)

I did not come up with these. I learned them. I cannot take credit for putting them into words.
You may find other truths about your own honor. Listen to yourself. Go ahead and start now. Begin.
 
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mrgoodstuff

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Your family did you like that not because they thought they could scoop your lady. They did it cause they thought it was funny and they thought it would make you look bad. That being said in the situation were a woman comes in with you and someone steps to her its her responsibility to not encourage the flirt and your responsibility to protect her. If she encourage the flirt then she's no good. It means she's all about self and not with you.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Your family did you like that not because they thought they could scoop your lady. They did it cause they thought it was funny and they thought it would make you look bad. That being said in the situation were a woman comes in with you and someone steps to her its her responsibility to not encourage the flirt and your responsibility to protect her. If she encourage the flirt then she's no good. It means she's all about self and not with you.
Those two cousins the guys gave a few suitable responses. But I wouldn't trust them in my business after what they showed.
 
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King Lion

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OP, let’s talk about honor. Honor is not what your friends think or what your best friend thinks it is.

Women, as I have observed have a different code and your code is not transferable to them. If you think that they have no honor, you are misapplying honor. Honor cannot be enforced on another.

Honor or lack of honor resides in you and you alone. Greatness is not changing in the face of adversity. Despite all the reasons to. Including social pressure. Honor is ones own personal code. Look at all the crazies running around acting like they’re gut shot because they aren’t getting life for nothing. They made a choice and left the world of honor. Never be the butt end of a joke or the recipient of the actions of those with no honor.
Here are a few things that I like to have and reside in me. I have failed at all of them at different times in my life. There is no shame in failing, you just get back on the horse.



1 Never desert a comrade in need, in danger or in trouble.

2. Never disparage yourself or minimize your strength or power.

3. Never need praise, approval or sympathy.

4. Your self-determinism and your honor are more important than your immediate life. Better to be dead

5. Don’t desire to be liked or admired.

6. Be your own adviser, keep your own counsel and select your own decisions.

7. Do not give or receive communication unless you yourself desire it. (The S&D you guys have been talking about. Been around a very, very long time.)

I did not come up with these. I learned them. I cannot take credit for putting them into words.
You may find other truths about your own honor. Listen to yourself. Go ahead and start now. Begin.
GREAT post...I agree...So much, I named my daughter Honor!
 

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Erik Balls

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Advice from the old lady:

If you date beautiful women there will always be men flirting with and chatting up or making passes at your girl.

This gal handled it with class. But OP got angry inside.

Get over it. “Doing something” about it simply makes you appear butt hurt and insecure.

Not a good look.

This comes with the territory. You OP must get past this. It will never change so long as you date attractive women.
depends

If youre a 40 years old self established male you may know this and be able to handle this situation cause you probably know what you worth versus your loser cousins and you also better at being able to assume or predict the quality of the women you attract and be able to trust or at least not concern of losing

If youre at your 20-30 and this is your "family", would say feel free to knock em out or at least break contact with this trash.

Also, woman who enjoys this kind of attention knowing that this makes her partner uncomfortable is clearly not a woman you want to have anything with
 
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NSX-R

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Having an attractive woman comes hand to hand with people giving her compliments.
As @BeExcellent perfectly said , your woman showed class and she didn’t respond. Showing that you are butthurted makes you only seem weak and like a child who can’t control his emotion.
Think of it a little different. You own a Ferrari and people making comments about it all the time . It’s very clear like in your example they would love to be in your position. But you know they can’t because you know that you own that ferrari no matter what they say or do so you don’t give an f . As your woman very well presented and acted , she’s loyal to you and no matter what the other guys do or say, she’ll still be by your side . The only thing you have to do is to maintain yourself confidence because that’s a test for both you and her .
For her is to show her loyalty to you and how far down on earth she is , and for you to show your self confidence and that small things like these do not affect you in any way and nothing else can translate to a woman that she’s with a strong man . If you know that you’re high value, your woman will know it too , but knowing and being don’t go hand to hand , so act like it as well .
 

Kataface

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I definitely need to re-establish my boundaries with relatives. I would let things slide in the past to keep the peace with relatives, but I really think it was the wrong move now. Some relatives are just toxic and shouldn't be treated with respect if they don't give you any. They take advantage of kindness. The post on honor was really good. It's given me a lot to think about.
I'll start hitting the gym more too. Some people in this world will only respect you as much as they fear you.
 
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zinc4

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Hi everyone,
I was looking for advice on how to deal with other men hitting on the woman you are with right in front of you. I had brought a woman I was dating to a little get together. My cousin was there and he was making passes at her all night. His friend did the same. I was angry but wasn't sure what to do considering this cousin is someone I will have to keep seeing at various family events once covid is over with. I said they should bring their wn dates instead of hitting on mine, but they kept trying to flirt with her. Should I have started a fight? They weren't drunk either. My date ignored it or politely smiled.

In a perfect world you could just smash their faces in for the utter disrespect tossed your way.

Unfortunately, have to be political, though. The important thing is she didn't partake in it then claim its normal friendly banter. That's the worst man. When a woman tries to convince you male attention her way is always innocent and strictly platonic. That's a woman to avoid at all costs.

It sounds like you handled it fine.

I have a short fuse on me with stuff like this. Last two times it happened i called the guys out on it and basically told both of them to **** off as harsly as i could. It never decreased the girls that i was with attraction to me though. In fact it seemed to increase it.

I ended up dumping both those girls later on lol. Only a total simp hits on taken women imo.
 

mrgoodstuff

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depends

If youre a 40 years old self established male you may know this and be able to handle this situation cause you probably know what you worth versus your loser cousins and you also better at being able to assume or predict the quality of the women you attract and be able to trust or at least not concern of losing

If youre at your 20-30 and this is your "family", would say feel free to knock em out or at least break contact with this trash.

Also, woman who enjoys this kind of attention knowing that this makes her partner uncomfortable is clearly not a woman you want to have anything with
She might not "know" that it makes her partner "uncomfortable", as it should make MOST feel disrespected, she might be so SELF absorbed and such an attention junkie that she didn't even KNOW or REALIZE it.
 

mrgoodstuff

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In a perfect world you could just smash their faces in for the utter disrespect tossed your way.

Unfortunately, have to be political, though. The important thing is she didn't partake in it then claim its normal friendly banter. That's the worst man. When a woman tries to convince you male attention her way is always innocent and strictly platonic. That's a woman to avoid at all costs.

It sounds like you handled it fine.

I have a short fuse on me with stuff like this. Last two times it happened i called the guys out on it and basically told both of them to **** off as harsly as i could. It never decreased the girls that i was with attraction to me though. In fact it seemed to increase it.

I ended up dumping both those girls later on lol. Only a total simp hits on taken women imo.
But should you trust those people in any of your business and affairs after what they showed you?
 

Grinderman

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They want to make you look goofy and don't respect your affairs.
Sometimes it's just they don't know how to talk to a female. They go all goofy. I experienced this with an older brother years
ago with my first gf. He would say HEY to me in his man voice and then heeeeeeey to her in a high pitched leechy voice....like he was talking to a child. (he was seeing his future wife at this stage) He just always had that heeeeey way of addressing any female. It was annoying and creepy but it wasn't disrespect, just goofballness on him.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Sometimes it's just they don't know how to talk to a female. They go all goofy. I experienced this with an older brother years
ago with my first gf. He would say HEY to me in his man voice and then heeeeeeey to her in a high pitched leechy voice....like he was talking to a child. (he was seeing his future wife at this stage) He just always had that heeeeey way of addressing any female. It was annoying and creepy but it wasn't disrespect, just goofballness on him.
Did that "heey" girl become his wife?
 

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Grinderman

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Did that "heey" girl become his wife?
He'd say heeeey to my girlfriend while I was sitting down on the sofa with her. Whereas my brother in law (married to a sister since '87) would say hi to me and hi to her both the same. So would my other brother. This brother though felt a "need" to "flirt" with every female. My mother gave him a big head (best looking out of the lot) and I think this went to his head and he thought he was a charming stud....(he did sort of have that creepy heeey hon voice with his future wife now that I think about it......still together 20 odd years and five kids later.......).
 

mrgoodstuff

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He'd say heeeey to my girlfriend while I was sitting down on the sofa with her. Whereas my brother in law (married to a sister since '87) would say hi to me and hi to her both the same. So would my other brother. This brother though felt a "need" to "flirt" with every female. My mother gave him a big head (best looking out of the lot) and I think this went to his head and he thought he was a charming stud....(he did sort of have that creepy heeey hon voice with his future wife now that I think about it......still together 20 odd years and five kids later.......).
LOL. She got 5 kids outta him.
 
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