"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Osho says something about rejection

SeymourCake

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You may be afraid of rejection — if you approach a woman or go into a relationship, you may be rejected. But if you become afraid of rejection, you are already missing the opportunity. Yes, there is a possibility of rejection. Life is a risk, it is a gamble. But the joy is because there is the risk of losing, there is joy in winning. If you are bound to win there is no point.

I have heard about a prince who was a player of chess, a lover of chess. But he was very worried because whosoever would play with him…. It was a rule of his father that the son had to win, so he was always winning. Now what is the point of playing a game if you are always winning? If it is absolutely decided that you have to win and others have to fail, they have to lose, then the whole joy is lost.

He escaped from his kingdom because of his love for chess, went into another kingdom, became a common person, started playing chess. Now there was joy because now he had to fight. The other was not bound to lose; the other could win. Now winning was a challenge.

Remember it! There is a possibility of being rejected — that’s good, that adds spice to love. And don’t wait for somebody to come to you, because other people are also waiting. Take the initiative. And women particularly don’t take the initiative; that is not part of the feminine mind and the feminine energy. The man has to take the initiative. If you are just sitting there like a Buddhist monk then nobody will take any notice of you; they will by-pass you. Who bothers about a Buddhist monk?

You are waiting there for somebody to come and knock on the door nobody will come. And even if somebody knocks on the door, you will not open the door because you will be so afraid. You have never been in a deep relationship, you have become accustomed to living alone; now somebody is there to disturb the whole thing. And you are not a born monk either, otherwise I would have said ‘Perfectly good!’ You want to have a relationship and you are afraid — whatsoever the reason. You have to drop that fear.
- Source – Osho Book “The Madman’s Guide to Enlightenment”

Good stuff.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Boilermaker

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Indeed.

I have always been inspired by Osho.

Good stuff.

And nice chess analogy.
 

PlayHer Man

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Its not even that deep.

If you fear rejection from women.. you already think too highly of them. Why elevate someone you barely know? Men are above women. When you pursue a woman its because you think she looks good and you want to f*ck her. She is not some God/Goddess.

If I have any fear at all.. its from her having some kind of outburst or dramatic reaction that is publicly humiliating. But not the rejection itself.

Rejection should feel like asking someone for a dollar and being told "no". That's how it feels to me.
 

NewAndImproved

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Good stuff, OP. The other side of the coin is the regret you feel when you don't take that risk... when you don't put yourself out there.

When the fear of regret > the fear of rejection, then you can really start taking advantage of every opportunity out there.
 
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