"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Orgasmic Workout

Captain Popular

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While standing, lift your woman by her thighs. Have her wrap her legs around your waist. Bend your knees slightly and keep your arms around her waist. Before you know it, you will be gaining strength and stamina. This exercises your biceps. Standing up will excesses your hamstrings.

Equivalent in gym:

Bicep curls

Squats or lunges

Again, for this one, you will also be standing up. Find a flat surface that you can lay her down on. This surface should be as high as your pelvis. I would suggest a table top.

Have her spread her legs on the table. You should insert your penis as if you were attempting to do a missionary position. This position will drive both of you mad. This will feel great for both of you. You can take a break and stand on the balls of your feet if you like. Make sure you don't get too relaxed and go limp.

What are you working out?

Standing on your toes will work your calves.

Resting on your feet will work your hamstrings.

Equivalent in gym: Calf raises Squats or lunges

Having her be on top is a great way to work out. Though I have to say, that when my woman is on top, the last thing I am thinking about is getting a good work out. Well, that isn't all true, I think of my penis that is getting worked out. Have her ride you both go into pure ecstasy. While she is doing this, lift your head from whatever surface it is on. Kind of like how you would if you were doing sit ups. You will feel the burn in no time if you haven't worked out in awhile. Try not to pull any muscles in your neck. Not only would this be embarrassing, but it hurts like hell. She will think you are about to orgasm, you will be in so much pain you will think you are going to go nuts.

What are you working out?

Your abs?

Equivalent in gym: Crunches

Again, you will need your woman to be on top. It is easy to be spoiled when your lover is on top all the time. While she is on top, only your shoulders and feet should be touching the ground. Arch your back so are in a 90 degree angle. This is a great work out and you will feel it in no time.

What are you working?

Your gluteus maximums (your ass)

Your hamstrings

Equivalent in gym: Squats Lunges

These are just a few of the work outs you can do in bed. If you don't feel like going to the gym one day, this is a great way to excesses. I wouldn't suggest that you do it very often. Once a week max for this type of love making.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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WORKEROUTER

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Originally posted by Captain Popular
lol yeah i think so.
Your "workout" is not only stupid but wouldn't do sh*t for anyone's physique.

Stop being a wussball and get to the gym.
 

Captain Popular

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***** i get more ***** than your AFC ass, so suck another **** you bobblehead and get out my face.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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DonJuanMonk

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Captain Popular, Real men who have sex approach sex as a workout. (Yes you're one of those real men, FOR NOW) I like how CP outlined what muscles are worked out according to what position.

I think girls like it the most when you are carrying her (the first exercise you talked about) or on top of her, to them that is a masculine position. If you have any other "positions" that work out a typical set of muscles or even a group of them that'd be cool.
 

WORKEROUTER

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Real men approach sex as sex. They approach going to the gym and lifting weights a workout.

Wanna know a great position to get your muscles working? Try putting your hands around her hips, lifting her up half military press style so that she can her legs around you and her arms around your neck, walk her over to the door, put her back against it, and start ramming it in her. It's best when you wake up her neighbors/roomies.
 

Boner da Stoner

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Nice I commend you on this, now open the book of kama sutra and eliminate the useless, translate the useful... and give us some more mind-blowing workouts...

I am definitely going to be applying some of what I've learned from this post to my next 'workout'. Hell next time I go to the gym, I'll ask for a critique.
 

GropeDope

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This thread doesn't belong in this forum, because this forum is basically for people who aren't getting any, so this just adds insult to injury.

Oh and Merry ChristmaKwanzanukah!
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

fyrefly

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i love this thread so much i just might buy it a drink
 
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