Orange Apples' road to victory (Journal)

[Orange Apples]

Hello SS forums, i am Orange Apples, you can call me OA for short.

Some facts about me:
- I live in California, San Francisco
- I am 21 years old
- I am 5'5" and I am an Asian-American
- I've had 7 relationships under my belt starting from middle school all the way up to High school, but none of them lasted longer than 6months.
- Never did a cold approach in my life
- Only ways i got girls was by being a statue, and then talking after they initiated the conversation. =x
- I've been one of the ghosts that have lingered in these forums for 3years and have used a lot of what I've learned and applied it to real life (somewhat =x)

Anyways I hope to be able to start cold approaching sometime soon... and get more comfortable with starting conversations with girls and anyone, purely out of thin air.

~Monday~

I was walking to the bus and as the doors opened, a girl was tryin’ to rush pass by me. I will call her HBpb (passing by) . I moved to the side to let her pass, and she turned around

HBpb: “Oh …”

She looks straight at me

HBpb: “ I’m sorry I didn’t mean to knock you to the side of the road there… “

She then held out her hand and placed it on my shoulder

HBpb: “Or maybe I did”

She smiled.

I wasn’t interested in her so I responded

“Oh well that wasn’t nice of you” and continued my walking to the bus.

I enter the bus.

I see my old roommate across from me and I say wasup to him and stuff (and the bus is filled at this point so we are stuck with having to grab hold of the handrails or w.e). And we begin to talk about school and stuff. Then enters a really cute, and highly fashioned asian girl, I’d rate her a 7.5. She stands next to us.

As I’m talking to my friend, I notice that she’s constantly fixing her hair and occasionally looking at my direction (IOI?).
Long story short, I puss out and continue to talk to my friend and ignore her.
I have accomplished nothing today, but I’ve gotten some positive vibes with girls without doing anything. In the end, I still lose. =x

Tomorrow is another day.

 

[HolyG]

Bad mindset man, force yourself to talk to people. Anyone!
Keep it up!

 

[Orange Apples]

Bad mindset man, force yourself to talk to people. Anyone!
Keep it up!

Thanks for the advice! I have much to learn... I just always seem to find an excuse to not start a conversation when the opportunity comes... Its quite frustrating really. Too much of a "I will do it tomorrow" kind of guy i guess.

 

[Diaforetikos]

Congrats on starting a journal. Try to update it as much as possible as it will help you see your weaknesses and strengths. I look forward to reading more.

Also, we should meet up sometime. I live in Fairfield, so I'm relatively close and I drop by San Fran about 2-3 times a month. We gotta sarge man!!

You pussed out because you were raised to be scared. Break that habit. I'd be glad to help. Live your life like its the only one you got, because it is. If you died tomorrow, you'd regret that puss out moment. Take one risk a day man. You'll be glad you did.

 

[Orange Apples]

Thanks for the advice Diaforetrikos, you are right. "The biggest risk you can take is not to risk at all." -Pook

I appreciate your posts and comments, it is a bonus. This thread was started in order for me to reach from Point A to Point B. Thus, if you are going to flame, I don’t give a damn, this is for my benefit, my journal, my world. You are more than welcome to put your input and help guide me in this process self-improvement, but I don’t need your comments if they are to be insults rather than constructive criticism.

I’ve re-read some posts from threads started by Pook and I’ve come to a realization. I’m like a woman =x.

Over the course of my life, I’ve realized that I’ve relied too heavily on looks, and feelings alone. I would wake up one day and look in the mirror, and I would “feel” that I looked good that day. I would go out with my head held up high, socialize, interact with people with high energy. The days that I wake up and feel like I look or feel even the slightest bit, bad, I go out feeling bad. I don’t interact with people with good energy, I don’t socialize, I don’t try to have fun. I drag myself around just to try and “get through the day”.

My mentality is ****ed up. I try to “feel” too much, instead of do. Like a “man” should.

I still have to fight it from a day to day basis. It is like a constant tug of war.

But I do know what I need to do. I need to accept myself whether good or bad days. To just go out there and have some fun.

Another thing I must work on is myself. My self esteem is rather low, despite people telling me I’m “pretty”, "cute", “good-looking” at times, and I have no idea why (perhaps that’s where the problem lies). I think I’m just too afraid to open up, to afraid to risk, to afraid to crash and fall. Maybe too much pride?

I have always had high standards for anything, including women. I’m quite a perfectionist. Must buy the highest priced clothes because they seem to fit perfectly, must never talk to girls I’m not interested in. Girls must be pretty, thin, petite, etc. etc. etc… But I think it may be holding me back, not my high standards in women (I think we should never have to aim lower than what we actually want), but having to have everything perfect. It is like I’ve had my training wheels on my whole life, always relying on the same crutches I’ve always relied on. If something is out of place, i am out of place.

I’m too materialistic.

I guess we can’t all be the perfect “DJ” or the perfect “man” because perfection is impossible. But something along the lines of what is right for “me” and right for “you” (whatever makes you happy) is what, I think, we all should aim for.

 

[TIC]

- I am 21 years old
- I am 5'5" and I am an Asian-American
- I've had 7 relationships under my belt starting from middle school all the way up to High school, but none of them lasted longer than 6months.
- Never did a cold approach in my life
- Only ways i got girls was by being a statue, and then talking after they initiated the conversation. =x

Wow, those stats and you've had 7 gf's without ever approaching? Then again san fran is probably a better dating pool than where I'm from

I would suggest bulking up. As a short guy, the best thing you can do is be in excellent shape. Get a trainer and start building muscle. That's what I suggest.

Also, make sure you try the night game and not just day-game...in my opinion day game is not very fruitful in the end. You can get over approach anxiety by doing it alot, but I don't think it's the best way to meet women.

i prefer to game girls where they expect to be gamed; namely, college parties, nightclubs, bars, etc. That is what works for me at least (I'm doing a journal also). But hey, continue the day-game if you find it helps. You certainly will get many rejections under your belt and this will harden your self-esteem and eventually, the anxiety will go away.

But good luck. Keep us updated, and remember, we all know that staying in your comfort zone will not work. Being outside of your comfort zone is where you need to be