"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Opinion on this girl?

green69

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Okay, I don't have much experience with girls so I thought I'd share this situation that's been going on. It's very detailed because I thought i'd include a lot of the signals she's been givin me, which is why this whole thing is confusing.

Just a little background on my appearance: 5'9'', decent/moderately good looking (innocent looking too), and thin. I just turned 20, but a lot of people think I look 17-18, and think that I'm still in high school.

At my place of work, about 6 months ago this girl was hired - she's a few years younger then me. She is very hot. So for the first little while, we barely talked. I treated her like any other girl really. Talked to her sometimes when it was convenient and I wasn't busy. Never went out of my way to talk to her or treat her differently, because, I mean I don't know her yet so why should I. Slowly but surely we started to feel comfortable with each other - I'd playfully tease her for instance, and she'd laugh - it was just casual fun (I still hadn't got to know her yet really). I started to notice some things she did and mentioned. I guess I wasn't scheduled the same shift as her for a few weeks, and when I saw her she said "I never work with you anymore :(" I was kinda surprised because to be honest I barely even noticed that I wasn't seeing her anymore, there was another girl at work whom I was flirting with anyway.

A month or so later, perhaps, I finally got a chance to know her a little better. I had a break and she was 10 minutes early before her shift so we just hung out. Had a great conversation, she was laughing the entire time saying "shut upppp!" etc. I guess she lost track of time because she ended up being a couple minutes late. Another time I was telling my buddy I wanted to change one of my shifts, and she was there too and said "nooo...I wanna see you that day."

So at that point I was starting to have feelings for her, after spending some time alone with her and realizing that I enjoyed spending time with her. A couple days later, I found out that she gave her email address to a co-worker of mine - which seemed to be in a kind of 'ask me out' fasion. That sucked - I was totally confused. Whenever I saw them together, they rarely flirted, I thought they were just casual work acquaintences. Granted, this guy is several years older than I am and very good looking. Anyways, nothing happened between them as she thought he was around 19, but in actual fact he was like 22. Too old for her, and she was too young for him.

Things between us were the same though. She had to work at another store (same company) one time, she called me from the other store just to chat and banter over the phone. If we're working together, she calls me during the periods with no customers just to chat. In fact, she even called me at the store from her house on weekday night. So over the phone, I asked her "hey, you have uh...msn?" and she said like "Oh I shouldn't tell you it, I made it like 5 years ago and it's really stupid." Of course, I know that she gave this other guy her email (and ya I do know what her email is since I saw the note, it is a childish address) so that's where I'm lost. She calls me and enjoys talking to me and all that, but when I ask for her msn she makes up a phony excuse. It's not like I asked her to marry me, or even asked her out. Just an email address. Things after that were the same - i haven't worked with her much lately and I think she misses me, just by her tone when I saw her last week.

The main reason why I am concerned about this is because it's a girl I work with so I don't want to mess things up. If it was just some random girl I met - then hey, ask her out and if she says no, no problem. But it would suck if things went wrong, and she'll no doubt tell other people and then my casual part-time job isn't as fun. So is she just using me for attention or what? I mean, if I was calling her and feeding her ego 24/7 I could definitely say that - but I have to be honest and say that she has been doing most of the calling/chatting/whatever and I've just been along for the ride. Any ideas?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Cruise

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Damn brotha... didn't even have to read into your 3rd paragraph, I already have an opinion for you!!

You ready?

READ THE MUTHERFUGGIN' DJ BIBLE!!

With all due respect, you'd really save EVERYBODY's time if you just got down to studying these articles... and don't tell you me you HAVE studied them, because that's bull****.

Can't expect to get the palace if you're not willing to put the work in...
 

JJMcLure

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green69 said:
So is she just using me for attention or what? I mean, if I was calling her and feeding her ego 24/7 I could definitely say that - but I have to be honest and say that she has been doing most of the calling/chatting/whatever and I've just been along for the ride. Any ideas?
Seems so. Evidence is in the fact she doesn't offer you any way to get in touch by denying her e-mail - contact is on her terms and timetable. Also the fact you've known each other 6 months kind of means any initial attraction "heat" would have probably died a long time ago anyway. When chicks use a guy for attention, it doesn't matter who the guy is, and they always have more than one guy who they go to for attention. So the fact you aren't the one pursuing it, and aren't doing it "24/7" is irrelevant. Things you are reading as signals aren't even really flirting. Chicks can go a lot further than that and it still not mean anything.

On another point, there's nothing wrong with asking a chick out. Get out of the high school mentality that "she might tell everyone". I recommend you do the ask for ten phone numbers and try to get rejected each time challenge to overcome your fear of rejection and see the world doesn't cave in.
 

flexion_

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Well you are essentially her girlfriend. What more do you want to know?
 

green69

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JJMcLure said:
Seems so. Evidence is in the fact she doesn't offer you any way to get in touch by denying her e-mail - contact is on her terms and timetable. Also the fact you've known each other 6 months kind of means any initial attraction "heat" would have probably died a long time ago anyway. When chicks use a guy for attention, it doesn't matter who the guy is, and they always have more than one guy who they go to for attention. So the fact you aren't the one pursuing it, and aren't doing it "24/7" is irrelevant. Things you are reading as signals aren't even really flirting. Chicks can go a lot further than that and it still not mean anything.
I really like some of the points you raised. Especially about contact being on her terms. That definitely seems true, otherwise she would've given me her email. I had assumed that her usually being the one calling/contacting me was a positive sign, but that isn't necessarily so.

So where do I go from here?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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sexysuave

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Well, I liked that guys advice as well. It's true, the longer you wait, the tuffer it gets man. She probably thinks you're a kool guy, but doesn't really wanna jump your bones :(. Now I'm not there, if I was I could probably try to judge the body lang and all that stuff, but you're the one who should know. I mean, girls that like guys help them, notice how SHE gave that other guy her e-mail. YOU asked for it and still didn't get it! That's a hint I think. But yeah, if I was you, I'd just go ahead and try to get her phone number. This is safe and easy and if she doesn't give it to you then you have a sure fire sign and you can move on. If she has nice looking friends, and you can EMOTIONALY disconect your self from thinking that she's somebody you "have" to get with, then it might be kool to have her as a friend since she can probably introduce you to her girlfriends. Then you have to spit game and see what you can do :). Good luck.
 

green69

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ya I know it's a late reply but thx for all your input. Since I hadn't seen her for a month or two I had a lot of time to do some objective thinking. And with the help of these posts I don't think she is interested just based on the fact that she didn't give me her email. Ya maybe she enjoys talking to me, we banter blah blah blah, but fact of the matter is if she liked me then she would've given me her MSN.

It's so hard too cuz I just saw her tonight and again there was a lot of teasing and bantering going on but it's almost like it's for nothing. I have to see her like once a week, and probably more over the summer. It's tough getting over a girl when you constantly see her and talk with her. Hopefully I can find another girl and then this one will get out of my head.
 
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