Opening Girls at the Bar

[gravityeyelids]

Okay this is a huge sticking point for me. Bars intimidate the fvck out of me.

I mean I have my on nights where i feel like a rockstar, but I've noticed these are only on nights when i have big social proof and I already know more than a few people at the bar i'm going to. I'm introverted and I feel far far more comfortable when I have a group of friends I can bounce back to when i get rejected or whatever.

However, the problem is that these are the rare nights. Usually I just roll with my friend Nick. Now Nick is a decent wingman. He's decently attractive, dresses well, girls like him, he's fun, can hold a good convo with girls and closes pretty decently. He's not like a rockstar though, and doesn't usually do super direct, constant approaches. More just chills until he sees an opportunity. As do I when i'm with him. What this leads to is some nights where neither of us make more than one or two solid approaches...

What are techniques that you guys use to open girls at bars (i'm talking noisy, loud, high energy places...one step below clubs) when you're rolling with another guy??? I always feel like a chode when i'm rolling around with all dudes, even if they're good looking dudes. I feel like a rockstar rolling out with a few cute girls. I've been trying to overcome this sticking point for YEARS now, so please don't just say "get out there and do it".

 

[PeasantPlayer]

Stop over thinking with your mind and start listening with you gut/body. It should tell you all you need to know. Your flooding your mind with useless information and worries and doubt. At your age you should know when a girl is interested in you or not or somewhere in between, just act on what you feel in the moment, if you stutter its because you think to much. If you see girls dancing and one of them smiles at you flirtatiously, jump in be goofy smile...gain comfort with her body language and eyes

 

[diviaster]

yeah, its also a big deal for me, I wanna be good at this kind of stuff, bars as I have discovered are full of arrogant men whom you will have to consistently battle with to get the attention of the women you want...usually hot 10s. the not so hot women get attention from those men in the lowest social rant in the bar as per the situatiaon but its always a big deal for me to open and not get into a fight with a drunk bastard...anything will help

 

[apprenticedj]

I'm similiar to you my friend. I find that success on any particular night starts well before you get to the bar. A big key for me personally is warming up properly. Let me give my typical run down:

I put on some tunes to get me hyped up as I'm getting dressed. Also I have a few beers to work up a nice light social buzz before I leave. After a few songs I find myself grooving around, this always puts a smile on my face and gets my vibe started.

When you first get to the bar work on projecting a friendly vibe with a nice relaxed smile. Look for opportunities to chat with ANYBODY. I usually start by belling up to the bar, chatting with the bartenders and any interesting characters nearby. Chat to some random dudes, old folks, unattractive chicks, fatties, weirdos, whoever it doesn't matter. The point is getting your mouth piece fired up.

After you get settled start to scope your targets. You should be good and warmed by then.

 

[PeasantPlayer]

I don't drink so more so I don't lighten up easily....I love a challenge

 

[Don-Kong]

Your night starts long before you go out.

It's like a boxing fight. You have to win before you get in the ring.

It's a mental game. Your nights 'effects' are caused mainly by your thinking and attitude. A lot of PUA's talk about being in the right state.

If you are serious about this, then try visualising yourself making approaches. Approaches going well and you having fun. Then when you are out, you feel a little more sure of yourself.

There's loads of methods. It's trial and error. Learn and change strategy.

 

[Callmejoe]

My technique is to avoid bars all together as a pick up place.

First there are two kinds of bars, bars with more guys than girls, and bars with more girls than guys. Which kind are you going to?

I personally know bars where I can walk in and there are 5:1 girls to guys, sometimes more (not lesbians). Those girls are way too slutty, not really my type, and frankly, medically risky. I have walked out alone, with girls begging me to take them home. If you wanted, you could take two or three of them home with you and every one will have sex with you (but don't presume with each other). If you are just trying to get laid and don't have much concern with whom, then find one of those kinds of places.

My guess is that the ratio is not in your favor and you are having some competition issues. You are gambling that some girl will get drunk enough that your number will come up. That is chance. Why leave anything to chance?

Your best bet is internet. Over the years, I have found a couple of websites that have the odds in the guy's favor, more horny girls than guys. I'm not going to disclose which ones. As a hint, search from a woman's point of view, not a man's. In general, one month of subscription yields two or three girls that end up in my bed. I found my two current gf's that way, and have five others that appear willing right now but I just haven't had the time to meet in person yet, plus one that is a GO as soon as we can find time.

For that last one, we had only exchanged two emails and a txt and she wanted to have sex immediately. I asked, "Why are you in such a hurry?" "I'm horny". I didn't have time, but we met for 10 minutes two days later as we were both very busy. She is smart, tall, accomplished, and very attractive. She meant it when she said she wanted it now. I still haven't had the time to fit her in to my schedule.

Why spend hours, going around to bars hoping your number comes up, when for the same amount of money and time, you can bed two or three girls for sure?

 

[gravityeyelids]

I personally know bars where I can walk in and there are 5:1 girls to guys, sometimes more (not lesbians). Those girls are way too slutty, not really my type, and frankly, medically risky. I have walked out alone, with girls begging me to take them home. If you wanted, you could take two or three of them home with you and every one will have sex with you (but don't presume with each other). If you are just trying to get laid and don't have much concern with whom, then find one of those kinds of places.

My guess is that the ratio is not in your favor and you are having some competition issues. You are gambling that some girl will get drunk enough that your number will come up. That is chance. Why leave anything to chance?

Your best bet is internet. Over the years, I have found a couple of websites that have the odds in the guy's favor, more horny girls than guys. I'm not going to disclose which ones. As a hint, search from a woman's point of view, not a man's. In general, one month of subscription yields two or three girls that end up in my bed. I found my two current gf's that way, and have five others that appear willing right now but I just haven't had the time to meet in person yet, plus one that is a GO as soon as we can find time.

For that last one, we had only exchanged two emails and a txt and she wanted to have sex immediately. I asked, "Why are you in such a hurry?" "I'm horny". I didn't have time, but we met for 10 minutes two days later as we were both very busy. She is smart, tall, accomplished, and very attractive. She meant it when she said she wanted it now. I still haven't had the time to fit her in to my schedule.

you are so full of it that it's not even funny. unless you're talking about complete uggos

 

[spiegel549]

My early 20's I was horrible at cold approaching women in the bars. They are always in a group, or with another female friend, sometimes even with other men that they aren't dating.

How did I overcome it? I approached every single fuking girl I found attractive and TANKED. After a while the hesitation went away and became a natural transition from making eye contact, to instantly walking over and starting a conversation.

If you take care of you body, dress well, and your confident. You will notice when you walk into a bar who is looking at you and who isn't. You can tell who is interested/checking you out and who isn't.

Personally I make it SO FUKING OBVIOUS to the woman by staring her down and smiling. Every single female that smiles back, is almost always down for you to start a conversation with her.

You need to go through the transition from hesitation to letting it become second nature, with out thought, you body will naturally start moving towards your target, your mouth will just start going, before you know it your sitting next to her sharing a good laugh.

If you walk into a bar. Stare and don't ACT. You will NEVER get really good at approaching.

In my group of friends they ALWAYS send into the lions den first to break the ice lol. I will approach a group of 10 girls by myself. I don't give a FUK. But I am able to do that because of my strong entertainment background having to be quick on my feet and fast with my mouth.

Practice, practice, practice, PRACTICE is key.