Openers & Routines

[The Brufri]

This saturday I went out for a nightclub and realized im pretty out of material. The place was filled with HB´S, but I couldn´t find any ways to open them. At this point of my sarge i was supposed to be able to open a girl consistently and keep a good conversation going but I just stood there trying to find anything reasonable to say and nothing came out. Also, it´s worth mentioning that I always break the 3´s rule thinking exactly what to say.

I usually go for situational openers commenting on something about their looks, clothes, vibe, place or tell them something intersting that just happened with me or someone. But I know a lot of people are used to deliver canned material asking for their opinion is something like: " Who lies more, girls or guys" etc.. And I really cant see myself using these kinda of material. It would sound so fake and out of place.

As for the rest of the conversation I usually try using some C&F responses, cold reading and ordinary fluff talk. But there is a point where I ALWAYS run out of material and dont know what to say next. If the girl is not attracted by this point and start asking me questions I eject because I feel my mind blank. How important is for you the use of routines, canned stories, just to keep the conversation going?

That´s pretty much the reason why Im not approaching lots of girls lately when I go out. Im not afraid of approaching, im not afraid of rejection, Im just not finding myself confident enough to open them without good material to back me up.

What are your thoughts on this?

- The Brufri

 

[Skel]

Ever heard of the universal openen, HI

 

[Shogun]

Dude I understand where you are coming from. What you need to do is find a good stand up comedian that fits your personality and then you use some of his material to help you out. Or get inspiration to make your own jokes. And most importantly just relax and own the world (****y).

 

[dollashort]

Ever heard of the universal openen, HI

lol

 

[The Brufri]

Skel, you helped me a lot.

 

[squirrels]

I have to wonder how effective "hi" is in the club if she hasn't already shown some interest by smiling/staring/giggling/etc. If she's the slightest bit good-looking, she will have gotten "hi" from about a dozen guys.

Not saying it doesn't work...it's a good opener in ALL circumstances. Just make sure you have something to say after "hi" that'll make you stand out from the last guy that "hi"'d her.

 

[wolfie]

Originally posted by Skel
Ever heard of the universal openen, HI

Yeah, then "hows it going? whats your name? my name's xxx. where are you from? what do you do? are you single?" sheesh...

 

[princelydeeds]

Sounds to me like your still worried about getting shot down. I know for certain even the most attractive guys with lots of money get shot down constantly. The trick is not to care about the outcome, remove your desire, dont make it personal. Perhaps you could practice your 10 sarges per day. Learn not to care about getting rejected.

Walk up say "hi, I'm XXXXXX," I will usually say something like "when my song is on will you dance with me?" If shes interested she will smile and say "Whats your song?" I reply, " I know it when I hear it," then I give her my devilish grin, while looking dead in her eyes and walk away. Rarely do women say no, they may make up an excuse, but its ususally pretty gentle, if she gives an excuse I still smile and walk away. IMPORTANT: wait until she has just bought a drink, so you dont have to be bothered with sponsoring her drinking.

With approaching I've learned confidence is everything. Play it really cool, act like shes the first girl you saw so you thought you would say hi. You want to give off the impression that you are just there for fun, and shes lucky you gave her the chance to have fun with you. If shes disinterested, just shrug your shoulders and give her an "Are you crazy, Do you know who I am, you have really made a huge mistake," look. Don't say anything, just look at her like she just missed out on the greatest thing since sliced bread. I have mastered the art of making a girl think that I think Im the most important person in the club.

Remember to have unflappable confidence, ask another chick. If you dance with 1 or 2 really fine chicks right in front of her face I guarantee by the end of the night, she will either ask you to dance or come stand right in your area waiting on you to approach again. If she doesnt its probably becasue she has issues and you dont want her anyway.

In my mind any chick who rejects me is either gay or really screwed up in the mind! Honestly, when I do get to meet them later they are almost always really screwed up in the head. So Im almost always right. Remember don't take the rejection personal.

 

[TheRock]

When you go out .Just have some fun and relax .It seems that you are putting to much pressure on yourself.You are probably thinking of things to try and impress her and make her like you . This is wrong .Once you relax you conversational skills will improve .Try this "Hi I like your outfit".Tease her and try to make her laugh

 

[Don Juanabbe]

Originally posted by TheRock
When you go out .Just have some fun and relax .It seems that you are putting to much pressure on yourself.You are probably thinking of things to try and impress her and make her like you . This is wrong .Once you relax you conversational skills will improve .Try this "Hi I like your outfit".Tease her and try to make her laugh

I'm starting to understand this. I keep reading the site, and digest it. Then I go out and just relax and go with the flow. If I come across a situation that requires some of this stuff - well then, I know what to do.

What's really powerful is not giving a crap and talking to the women as if they were just another guy friend - that drives them nuts.

I'm having one helluva good time experimenting with all my new found knowledge thanks to this site.

 

[Chemistry]

Princely Deeds said it...

Only thing I didn't agree with was the last line...

Part of dealin with rejection is the simple fact that every girl is not gonna like you, you can be dancin in front of them with numerous hot ladies ALL night... you may exert a greater value to them, but still you jus ain't ALL that in their book...

Happens to everyone... even the hot girls... I mean there's girls who all your friends will give 9.5 to, then you give her a 7 an you just wouldn't... now flip that round and you can see how it works both ways...

Treat it all light heartedly... it is meant to be fun after all

The "Would you dance with me when my song comes on" line mentioned is a great example of a standard one you can use in any club / bar with music environment... right, you'll get shot down and they may dress it up so it doesn't seem as bad as "Get lost", but what's the point in spendin your nights deliberatin over girls and in a false sense of security, that HB 9 over there wants you, when in fact they don't... it's a waste of a night

 

[uniassign]

Yeah, then "hows it going? whats your name? my name's xxx. where are you from? what do you do? are you single?" sheesh...

Comeon man, that's not going to work. You are shooting logical, common questions at a girl. Sure it might work on the younger girls. But if you are after the smoking hot chicks who have been hit on ALL night AND day, those questions won't get you far.

But I know a lot of people are used to deliver canned material asking for their opinion

What's the difference between delivering canned materials and asking CANNED questions like what's your name, what do you do etc?

You have to realise that chicks go to clubs to have FUN. Answering these logical questions are NOT fun.

From you post, it seems that you are starting out on this. Try using canned materials. The point of using canned stuff is to get you used to interacting with girls, giving you the experience and observing their body language.

When you get better (lose all nerves, have an idea of how to pass sh!t tests, deal with her friends etc) then you can lose all canned materials.

Right now, consider the canned stuff as your training wheels.

 

[gav]

Originally posted by uniassign


Right now, consider the canned stuff as your training wheels.

Although i'm pretty much starting off at the moment, i wouldn't even consider using this stuff to get me off the ground. Frankly even i find it boring, never mind the girl who i'm asking. Convos don't flow well following stuff like "where u from, what do u do?" Actually i'm getting bored with the universal "hi, how's it goin?" because it only leads to "not bad, u" everytime = dull & repetitive. i wish i could punch everyone that asks me that

how would any of that separate u from the other guys? to put it bluntly, it wouldn't. she can talk about that stuff with her friends, not when she's with me.

for me it's what she's wearing, carrying, saying or what's going on around her.

peace, gav

 

[Chemistry]

Why can the canned stuff work...

Cos it ain't ALL what you say...

If you look good and simply say "Hi" to girl, so she knows you've noticed her, that you are approachable... then that's all it needs

Now if you are too busy with what you say and refuse to use the canned stuff as your training wheels, then you don't get any of the experience, and no action... if you ain't even opened how do you intend on gettin any?

I mean, you can be DJ #1, and spin **** that is down the line what has been taught through the bible... that **** would look beautiful... however if a guy walked past her that made her panties wet on sight, then you can guarantee she's gonna be more interested in him than you... and all he's gonna have to say is "Hi" and he's in there

 

[uniassign]

Although i'm pretty much starting off at the moment, i wouldn't even consider using this stuff to get me off the ground.

Hummm, you are starting out, but yet you are reluctant to try things out and experiment, how are you going to learn? Remember, there are NO MAGIC BULLETS.

how would any of that separate u from the other guys? to put it bluntly, it wouldn't

You haven't tried it out, you have limited experience and yet you are dissing it? That's quite amusing.

 

[GaryNas]

So what's a recommended club technique? Personally, I like saying a casual hi while getting a drink and flashing a smile, maybe tell her my name, but take off after that. If I notice her looking at me, then go over and dance with her, or get her to buy me a drink.


More thoughts?

 

[Silk]

I agree with unassign, do some canned stuff to get you going!

I did the newbie mission a week ago. Check this thread:

Newbie Mission

When you're approaching this often you get into a funny, talkative,
state and suddenly you see more oppurtunities to approach on the fly.
Later, you can use these on the fly approaches to create your own openers,
routines or style. For now, get some momentum! Do 12+
approaches instead of a few a night.

Shogun, thats a good tip. My favourite is Seinfeld.

Silk