EyeOnThePrize
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 9, 2019
- Messages
- 1,126
- Reaction score
- 1,828
- Age
- 33
The experienced folk have read this all before. This is for the people that haven't. And for myself, because writing my thoughts helps out them in order.
A man becomes so sure of himself through self care that he starts to believe no woman can diminish him. As the man commits more time to the woman/women he actually is diminishing himself voluntarily because he feels he can do so comfortably and unconditionally(it may not matter to him what the woman does, as long as she is respectful and fun to have around he really doesn't care). He does this without consciously thinking about whether he's being diminished or not(he listens to his gut). We've heard about the ideal of coming from abundance and unconditional love, but we also know how any choice is an inevitable sacrifice. If a man always comes from a place of abundance he is quick to disengage or walk if she is not feeding the relationship with her own abundance and is instead acting like a succubus. He will only give her as much attention as she deserves. Remember, trust your gut.
It takes practiced mindful awareness to determine when investment becomes conditional or the partner does something that's a deal breaker. After enough self diminishing it's inevitable that something will be sensed as conditional and a man picks between checking, disengaging, walking, or the worst choice, cucking(the same as doing nothing). Most guys cuck because here we have a huge ego play. The notice of an overstep can be a notice of conditional behavior from the self(I did x and she's not appreciative *pout pout*). Since the conditional action has already been performed and is being realized in post, the man could easily be thinking from a place of scarcity and ego(more likely in a man that's hard on himself imo). He feels he's made a mistake, which is a vulnerable position to be in(how he views mistakes and recovers is everything). This skews his decision making and he's more likely to be lenient or give the other a second chance. If he's coming from ego then admitting the partner's bad behavior is admitting his own weak conditional thinking, and his ego hates to be wrong. But what this does is diminish him further and communicates that the behavior is acceptable. The next overstep will be even harder to rectify because it'll come with guilt and resentment carried over from the first overstep(causing a more emotional reaction from the self) along with more resistance from the partner. With enough repetition the man becomes completely diminished to the point of physically revolting his partner, which only diminishes him further. This entire process slowly makes the woman act more masculine(because she's not checked). This is all inevitable in some capacity. Years of repetition without rectifying the bad habits results in either a cuck 'man' in a woman controlled relationship or a messy break up and a very jaded man as he's now so diminished that he's quick to vilify women(because admitting responsibility for all these compounded mistakes is too much for his ego at this point). Recovery after years of these mistakes can be extremely hard but if successful the growth is immense. These are the guys who show a complete 180 in mind, body, and soul. Unrecognizable.
The most important part of all this is that these boundary oversteps or 'tests' are inevitable. Whether the woman consciously or subconsciously does them doesn't matter.
Ideally the man owns the mistake completely and does the right thing anyway despite what his ego wants(easier said than done depending on the situation). The sex may be the best he's ever had but it can't get in the way of his self love and self respect. He may need to dump her, and this standing up for himself will actually increase his value in her eyes, yet his principles may dictate never having sex with her again. It seems counterintuitive to a diminished mind and obvious to a strong self respecting one. What is sex compared to love? Nothing. Is it weak to walk away from a woman that wants you to abuse her? Absolutely not. If she demands kinky behavior and controlled abuse but you feel overwhelmed by the request then you need to find the source of your fear. Usually it's a fear that she'll dislike your actions. A fear of pushing her away. But kink is rooted in love. Love is the base, kink is the intimate play. If she doesn't understand this or doesn't want love then she simply wants to be objectified and used. Disengage emotionally until you do not care, then use her if you wish, but only if you won't be diminished. Stay vigilant, listen to your gut, and don't BS yourself. Wait until you're completely disengaged. Do not reach out. I don't personally reach out to these girls in my life because Im high value and expect high value. I would rather go out and strike out with dimes than waste time inviting a confused self diminishing girl to come over. If she reaches out and I feel like it, sure, but it's all about me. If she doesn't value herself why should I?
He can still have sex but only after he reconstitutes himself and is abundant once again. Here we have a trap where a man can distract himself endlessly by having sex with women before he's rebuilt himself to an abundant level where giving is easy and cheap for him once again. This trap can perpetuate feeling of self doubt, guilt, low value and results in toxic, shiitty relationships with sub par women. It results in men coming to forums like this one trying to perfect some formula for getting laid. Consciously thinking about every step of a date in relation to some guide he read. This is again false confidence because his value is still shiit. He's building resentment because the process is not effortless and natural. The main reason this is a trap is because a man of abundance may go out and do the exact same things. He may strike out with some women, he may sleep with hotties, he may sleep with toxic women. The difference is he is coming from abundance. He is putting so little effort into his game that he always stays centered, doesn't care if a woman leaves, and never over analyzes on forums. It's simply fun for him. And the only difference between the man suffering and the man having fun is the mindset, the perspective. A chump may try to convince himself he's having fun but it'll only depress him more until he owns and builds himself up.
A diminished man will do many things to escape owning his mistakes and growing, even though this is the best thing for him. He'll abuse drugs and distract his mind endlessly until he forgets and repeats the cycle of diminishing himself, only compounding the problem. Anything to keep from making deep life long changes(due to fear and lack of awareness, based in toxic ego).
This is why you need to wake up as soon as possible. Because the longer you perpetuate needy behavior the harder it'll be to rectify. Do not seek the perfect woman, seek to become the perfect man, by diving inward and calmly, lovingly improving your life.
Keep in mind this applies to both sexes. I simply used a man because most people here are men.
A man becomes so sure of himself through self care that he starts to believe no woman can diminish him. As the man commits more time to the woman/women he actually is diminishing himself voluntarily because he feels he can do so comfortably and unconditionally(it may not matter to him what the woman does, as long as she is respectful and fun to have around he really doesn't care). He does this without consciously thinking about whether he's being diminished or not(he listens to his gut). We've heard about the ideal of coming from abundance and unconditional love, but we also know how any choice is an inevitable sacrifice. If a man always comes from a place of abundance he is quick to disengage or walk if she is not feeding the relationship with her own abundance and is instead acting like a succubus. He will only give her as much attention as she deserves. Remember, trust your gut.
It takes practiced mindful awareness to determine when investment becomes conditional or the partner does something that's a deal breaker. After enough self diminishing it's inevitable that something will be sensed as conditional and a man picks between checking, disengaging, walking, or the worst choice, cucking(the same as doing nothing). Most guys cuck because here we have a huge ego play. The notice of an overstep can be a notice of conditional behavior from the self(I did x and she's not appreciative *pout pout*). Since the conditional action has already been performed and is being realized in post, the man could easily be thinking from a place of scarcity and ego(more likely in a man that's hard on himself imo). He feels he's made a mistake, which is a vulnerable position to be in(how he views mistakes and recovers is everything). This skews his decision making and he's more likely to be lenient or give the other a second chance. If he's coming from ego then admitting the partner's bad behavior is admitting his own weak conditional thinking, and his ego hates to be wrong. But what this does is diminish him further and communicates that the behavior is acceptable. The next overstep will be even harder to rectify because it'll come with guilt and resentment carried over from the first overstep(causing a more emotional reaction from the self) along with more resistance from the partner. With enough repetition the man becomes completely diminished to the point of physically revolting his partner, which only diminishes him further. This entire process slowly makes the woman act more masculine(because she's not checked). This is all inevitable in some capacity. Years of repetition without rectifying the bad habits results in either a cuck 'man' in a woman controlled relationship or a messy break up and a very jaded man as he's now so diminished that he's quick to vilify women(because admitting responsibility for all these compounded mistakes is too much for his ego at this point). Recovery after years of these mistakes can be extremely hard but if successful the growth is immense. These are the guys who show a complete 180 in mind, body, and soul. Unrecognizable.
The most important part of all this is that these boundary oversteps or 'tests' are inevitable. Whether the woman consciously or subconsciously does them doesn't matter.
Ideally the man owns the mistake completely and does the right thing anyway despite what his ego wants(easier said than done depending on the situation). The sex may be the best he's ever had but it can't get in the way of his self love and self respect. He may need to dump her, and this standing up for himself will actually increase his value in her eyes, yet his principles may dictate never having sex with her again. It seems counterintuitive to a diminished mind and obvious to a strong self respecting one. What is sex compared to love? Nothing. Is it weak to walk away from a woman that wants you to abuse her? Absolutely not. If she demands kinky behavior and controlled abuse but you feel overwhelmed by the request then you need to find the source of your fear. Usually it's a fear that she'll dislike your actions. A fear of pushing her away. But kink is rooted in love. Love is the base, kink is the intimate play. If she doesn't understand this or doesn't want love then she simply wants to be objectified and used. Disengage emotionally until you do not care, then use her if you wish, but only if you won't be diminished. Stay vigilant, listen to your gut, and don't BS yourself. Wait until you're completely disengaged. Do not reach out. I don't personally reach out to these girls in my life because Im high value and expect high value. I would rather go out and strike out with dimes than waste time inviting a confused self diminishing girl to come over. If she reaches out and I feel like it, sure, but it's all about me. If she doesn't value herself why should I?
He can still have sex but only after he reconstitutes himself and is abundant once again. Here we have a trap where a man can distract himself endlessly by having sex with women before he's rebuilt himself to an abundant level where giving is easy and cheap for him once again. This trap can perpetuate feeling of self doubt, guilt, low value and results in toxic, shiitty relationships with sub par women. It results in men coming to forums like this one trying to perfect some formula for getting laid. Consciously thinking about every step of a date in relation to some guide he read. This is again false confidence because his value is still shiit. He's building resentment because the process is not effortless and natural. The main reason this is a trap is because a man of abundance may go out and do the exact same things. He may strike out with some women, he may sleep with hotties, he may sleep with toxic women. The difference is he is coming from abundance. He is putting so little effort into his game that he always stays centered, doesn't care if a woman leaves, and never over analyzes on forums. It's simply fun for him. And the only difference between the man suffering and the man having fun is the mindset, the perspective. A chump may try to convince himself he's having fun but it'll only depress him more until he owns and builds himself up.
A diminished man will do many things to escape owning his mistakes and growing, even though this is the best thing for him. He'll abuse drugs and distract his mind endlessly until he forgets and repeats the cycle of diminishing himself, only compounding the problem. Anything to keep from making deep life long changes(due to fear and lack of awareness, based in toxic ego).
This is why you need to wake up as soon as possible. Because the longer you perpetuate needy behavior the harder it'll be to rectify. Do not seek the perfect woman, seek to become the perfect man, by diving inward and calmly, lovingly improving your life.
Keep in mind this applies to both sexes. I simply used a man because most people here are men.
