Open to Suggestions

[Xander Warner]

Hello everyone.

I apologize if this is a post that has been covered before. If so, please direct me to the threads that have covered it. Thanks.

I'm 41 years old and looking to expand some of my skills in the area of women. I've slept with hundreds of women, however 95% of them have been through online dating. I'm a good looking guy and a lawyer, and I've heavily relied on those things to pull women. I've never really put the effort into mastering in-person game, and I know this is causing me to accept lower quality women. The hottest women I've dated have all been from picking them up in person and/or through social circle game, and I assume this experience is universal for all men.

At this point, nearly everything I'm pulling from online dating are single divorced mothers around my age. I'm very tired of these types of women. I'm a bodybuilder, and what I'm looking for are very attractive gym girls in their 20s that haven't been married and don't have kids. I'm not currently able to connect with this type of woman on the dating apps. So the obvious solution is to find them in person and master the game of picking them up in person.

I was recently dating a hot 27 year old gym girl, and I've realized this is the only type of woman I am currently interested in dating.

I've been going out at night lately, and what's becoming clear to me is that I need to practice and memorize scripts to keep the conversations going with women. I also need to have a better system for approaching groups of women and co-ed groups. I'm able to position myself as the Alpha in the room, and I'm getting IOIs from the hottest women in the room, but my approaches to groups are weak, and the conversations I'm having are fizzling out fast. I'm dedicated to mastering this, I just need some good scripts to start with to memorize, practice, and adapt for myself.

I've read all the main PUA and Red Pill books in the past, and I am rereading most of them now.

Please give me suggestions on a few things:

1. Suggestions and resources for mastering picking women up at the gym
2. The best scripts and resources for day game and bar/club game
3. Any other helpful suggestions

Thank you.

 

[The Duke]

Regurgitating some script won't carry the day for you. You need to learn conversation skills and have the ability to start interesting conversations with strangers. In order to be successful you need to have the awareness to listen, ask questions, and talk about yourself a little when necessary. Figure out what makes that person tick and get them talking. Find commonalities.

It's not about you. It's not about being the alpha in the room as you mentioned. It's about being more social and connecting with people.

Talk to men and women.

Can you provide an example of the typical conversation you have with a girl you are interested in?

 

[SW15]

You are a lawyer and you have muscles from weight lifting. You should be able to date a childless woman who is younger than you are. Getting someone under 30 might happen. A childless 30 something would be an upgrade for you over a 30 something single mom.

Agree with @The Duke on conversational skills. I find it somewhat unusual that you don't have strong conversational and persuasion skills as a lawyer.

 

[Gamisch]

Interesting read .

I mentioned you in the thread about Match group LLC , because imo you are a clear example of how messed up OLD has become. And perhaps dating in general.

41, fit and a lawyer will land a man a 40+ year old single mothers who dont even work out. Nothing new to me..I've been saying for a long time that literally every man struggles. Even famous men are struggling to KEEP their women in check. The male wall decreases while the female wall goes up! Seems like women are trolling us ..but they're dead serious about it..an obese woman can easily pull a bodybuilder, so that's what she does.

Both bar and gym and also OLD are difficult places to pull women BUT it can be done with enough practice and preparation and ofcourse patience...

1.you gotta find a way to establish a great position in the hierarchy of a gym. Think about teaching classes/ personal training , working at a gym or something like that. Unfortunately I don't believe it's possible to run through many women by spam approach. The ONLY thing I can come with is taking a membership from a big chain, and go to another city where you can freely approach women and disappear . Imo its ill advised to do this at your home gym!

2. Bar game.
-be extroverted
- have a group of cool people around you
-find niche bars/clubs. Festivals ect. Places where women go to being all exited instead of places where they rather go to every week..

3. Again, be extroverted. Happy, yet cool and collected. Talkative, yet mysterious. Have good pictures but not too much.

4. Situational awareness. Have your antennas up, and basically become feckboy/player. A smooth operator, one who compliments women everywhere he goes.

5. Perhaps my worst advice, assessing whether your expectations are realistic. Perhaps you are better off with a woman slightly beneath your own SMV...the type you described, are also prone to be extremely problematic.

6. Again ,advice against my own principles: consider the passport bro option...at least see if it works better for you..

 

[Xander Warner]

Thanks Gamisch. There are some helpful pieces of advice in your post. I don't think the other guys really understand where I'm coming from. I already have a lot of options with women. I've dated very attractive women including runway models, fitness models, etc... But I'm looking for more gym girls in their 20s that are 9s and 10s. I'm only interested in a very attractive type of woman. I've had them before and I want more of them.

I agree with you these types of women are very problematic. I'm choosing to play a much more difficult and dangerous game. I have been burned by these types of women before. However, I am not looking to have any serious or long-term relationships with them. I just want to have sex with them and have a lot of options with them. And what I want cannot be achieved with vague advice on improving conversational skills. A more dedicated, practiced, and strategic approach must be undertaken.

I believe we all run verbal scripts. Whether we call it a script or whether it's written down somewhere doesn't make it less of a script. We all repeat the same verbal talking points over and over in our lives. I have experience in sales and sales training, and I believe in the power of quality scripts and practicing them. I do not conduct a trial for my clients without first practicing what I will say and rehearsing the scripts many times first. I can make up my own scripts to use with women, and I already have many of my own, of course. But I wanted to get some samples from what other people are doing to optimize my own. I do not have a lot of experience of approaching groups of strangers in public places and picking up women out of the groups. The in-person game I have done has been through my own social circle and approaching women that are by themselves in public.

I am semi-retired now, and I'm going to be doing a lot more traveling in the future. So I appreciate your advice on being more of a traveler.

 

[NealIRC]

If you're into daygame (like myself), I'd suggest the beach or swimming pool areas. Look for girls that are solo or wearing thongs, for example.