"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Open letter to *you*

abcd_z

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Hey you! Stop giving me a bad name!

That's right, I'm talking to you. The guy in front of the keyboard. Now, I don't know who you are or where you're from in real life, but it's *really* painful to read some of your posts. I mean, you're probably an okay guy, you just don't seem to get how to be cool and social. And it's really irritating to watch, because I *know* you have, if nothing else, a willingness to learn. To improve. Otherwise you wouldn't even be here right now, reading this. And I think that, given time and practice, and maybe a little bit of guidance, you could learn how to be cool. You could really "get it". And I want to help you out. Because just sitting here, b*tching about women and your troubles with them is not helping you get better.

So here's what I propose. Take a minute, and take a personal inventory. It should be split into 4 sections, each one of them important. Figure out where you are, and where you want to be. And then post it right here, right in this post. They don't have to answer these exact questions, since these are just meant to get you looking in the right direction.

Section 1: Inner game now
What sort of person are you?
What beliefs and attitudes do you have?

Section 2: Outer game now
What sort of behaviors do you display?
How do you interact with others?
How much time do you actually spend interacting with others?

Section 3: Inner game goal
What sort of person do you want to be?
What beliefs and attitudes do you want to have?

Section 4: Outer game goal:
What sort of behaviors do you want to display?
How do you want to interact with others?
How much time do want to spend interacting with others?

Don't say something like "just be alpha". If you must, instead write down exactly what "alpha" looks like in your mind. Be as detailed as possible. This part with the 4 sections is important, because you're creating a blueprint for your own success.

Self-improvement is a 3-step process. You figure out what you want, figure out how you're going to get there, and then go out and do it. Right now I just want to see where you're at with the first step before we work on the other two.


So what are you waiting for? Reply!
 
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"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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flippinfreak

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Nah, it was a retarded way of approaching the situation

****Cue old bag lady holding 5 cats on street monologue****

You really do sound like a crazy when you opened up the thread. The rest of it was alright though, but introduction and message to *you* part was lame.
 

organizedconfusion

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actually it's a very basic but powerfull tool in obtaining what you want in life and by writing it out-it actualizes it in physical form and you can 'see' your goals.Just thinking about goals and brainstorming them brings them into your conscience awarness and more likely to be a part of your reality...a saying i once heard was ..watch what you say,because they become your thoughts,watch your thoughts because they become your actions,watch your actions because they become your destiny,watch sweating to the oldies and you become a homosexual...(damn,where the hell DID i put that tape?)

yeah, your intro was weird actually..yeah, i am talking to *YOU* :yes: yes *YOU* ..annoying isn't it?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Cruise

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My answer: Be more alpha.


Whew! That was a mind blowing experience!!!



I think I'm gonna go scratch my balls now... they're itchy ;)
 

abcd_z

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Oh, that tears it. You know why the post started out like that? Because it was originally meant as a PM. To abcd. That's right. The PM that I wound up not sending had the message title "stop giving me a bad name". You know why? Because I've read through some of your posts, abcd. On the first skimming of your posts, I was convinced you were a nerdy dork who has problems with kino and who over-obsesses the non-important details, such as "when to call her?". On a second reading, I realized you probably weren't as bad as I had assumed. And then you had to prove me wrong by your response here.

*sigh*

This was supposed to be something to help others and myself. People often get frustrated with this board because it's the same stuff regurgitated straight from the DJ bible. abcd, I know you've experienced some frustrations with that. So I post this in an attempt to help anybody who could benefit from it. I mean, this is a self-improvement board, right? For you self-image and how you deal with women? And that's exactly what I was trying to help with.

Was I overestimating myself or you guys?

Probably a bit of both. -_-
 

Gubby

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Meh, I thought the thread was cool. The "you yes you" bit was... tolerably cliché.

Anyway, why do we have so many freaks here who only make negative comments? No wonder these guys need a site to get women. They'd need a site to get friends.
 

Soprano

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i was laughing out loud when i read the first few sentences :( sorry
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Abcd

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Haha that's hilarious. Yeah sorry, I was drunk when I posted that last night, i had a party and ended up drunk in my apt. alone after everyone left, if you've read my canon you noticed I don't normally/ever? make negative comments, i think I was just laughing at the generality of your advice and the call to generic action...

Edit: "On the first skimming of your posts, I was convinced you were a nerdy dork who has problems with kino and who over-obsesses the non-important details, such as "when to call her?". On a second reading, I realized you probably weren't as bad as I had assumed."

Both pretty accurate!
 

thederekeffect1

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I thought this was a good thread. I feel like the ones that don't like it either don't like it because they feel that they are too good for it or don't like it because they feel that they are above you. That's what kind of forums we have here. As it turns out though, this same technique is used by psychologists/therapists all over the world and it is a very effective technique. It's used to help weightlifters achieve their goals, it's used to help businessmen achieve their goals, it's used to help depressed patients find happiness, etc.

So, was it stupid for you to post this? No. In fact, it was a smart post. A lot smarter then some of the posts I see here. Atleast you actually posted something that has been tried out and tested by professionals (psychologists).
 

Abcd

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I didn't think it was a bad post either, just to be clear.. I actually went back and read the questions again. I just thought all the stuff surrounding them was funny.
 

abcd_z

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Wow, cool. Thanks guys, that really means a lot to me. :)

So can I get anybody to actually post their answers in here?
 
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