Opa! Halloween's "Good Times" Journal

[Halloween]

I was going to write an introductory paragraph describing past relationships, bouts with one-itis, life goals, etc. But it's mostly irrelevant and surely the important parts will emerge from discussion.

I think you guys are awesome. Your detachment, your collective experience... it's like having a team of Simon Cowell's at your side. I'm thanking in advance anyone who gives me his input or points me to relevant information (threads, tapes, ...). :flowers:

Let's get this show on the road. I'm juggling 3...

Adrienne (my biggest investment).

1. (subjective)HB8.
2. Student. Senior year of her program. Legitimately busy sometimes.
3. Date #1: A walk in the park, to get to know her. I ended up running late. Arrived sweating, nervous. But it doesn't go that bad, and turns out I dig her.
4. Date #2: Dinner date, about a week later. I pay, she remarks she will pay next time. I'm nervous again, but we end up back at my place. We watch a movie, smooch it up.
5. Date #3: Action date! We go out and shoot some pool. We both suck, but we make a couple wagers, she ends up owing me a kiss.
6. Date #4: Another park date, same week as Date #3. I feel I've got some momentum, so I decide to pull... I omit physical contact, but generate kino with gangsta handshakes. (Readers: good or bad move?)
7. Date #5: Drinking with mutual friends. We get pretty good and smashed. Stumbling back to my place, playfighting in the streets. Laughing hard. We get back to my place. I'm thinking to myself "I am such a gentleman. I shouldn't initiate sex with her because she is drunk and she may regret her actions" so she literally just sleeps over but we have a nice breakfast in the morning (Readers: Please kick me.)
8. Date #6: dinner? flakes.
9. Date #6: random get-together? she doesn't pick up her phone.
10. Date #6: workout together? Bear in mind I'm asking over email. I'm also telling her stories and sh!t. The crap I'm writing is getting increasingly long-winded and AFC compared to her replies. Suddenly it hits me. This horrifying feeling of familiarity. I realize I'm dragging myself into the mire. I start to take these forums more seriously... listen to Tyler Durden's free audio seminar from rsd (I highly recommend this). A lot of things with my past relationships click into place. (Thanks to all y'all.)
11. Date #6!: (three weeks since I last seen her, but I persisted). Night out on the town. Dinner (she pays :yes, random shops, coffee, some late-night comedy. I feel like we bonded, like I know more about her, she about me. After we cruise back to my place so she can hear these RAD TUNES I need her to listen to. It's 2am and my roommate is standing eerily in the living room when we get back (thanks for the ****block, dude). We go to my room, and I'm hoping we can pretend he wasn't there being all weird. I start the tunes. "Ten minutes," she says. I go in for the kiss, massage her awesome bod, we make out. I touch the button on her pants, "no." We grind, then she has to go. She comes back for one last kiss which I playfully try to capture her with, she balks but she's laughing. Then I switch gears (maybe too quickly) and say, "alright, I'm kicking you out" and see her to the door.
12. Email her the next day, "let's have dinner next weekend." Get back, "sure, if I'm not going out of town." I take this to indicate that she will tell me if she is going out of town, but she never gets back to me (I ended up spending the weekend hanging out with other girls to cushion my ego... see Sarah, below).
13. Pretend like it never happened. We chat occasionally on msn but I pull contact because, despite our infrequent contact, I think I need to let it cool for a week .
14. Ask her on a dinner date for next Friday. She seems excited that I got in touch. She can't but counter-offers the following weekend. Have yet to reply. I am leaving weekdays open to impromptu meetings but it's during her exams and I've got other prospects...

Where's this at? Is this too much time between dates? It's been months and I have only racked up about 15 hours (minus sleeping) of together time. She is very aloof and I fully acknowledge the possibility that I may be an orbiter.

Ricki

1. She is conventionally attractive but (subjective)HB6.5.
2. Dated her 1 year ago. We went for burgers and she even talked about walking around in her house naked. But for me there was no click. I broke off contact which I believe built long-term attraction that I've been able to leverage...
3. I easily re-initiated contact and set up a cheap, late-night date for next week. Did some C&F on MSN, testing for prudishness, aversion to staying up late, etc. Seems datable.
4. I probably still won't be too into her, but I am giving her a chance. Irregardless, she's giving me practice and ammunition to fight one-itis with.

I will be honest. Doing what I'm doing to Ricki goes against every 'chivalrous' instinct I have. It feels wrong. I feel I'm taking rational (self-interested) and logical steps with her but don't want to see her hurt :kick: . I'm going to have to be careful with this one. Anyone have any thoughts on this situation?

Sarah

1. HB7.5
2. Met her at work. Our shifts rarely overlap but we see each other a couple times a week for brief spots.
3. I've been applying the C&F. She's visibly nervous around me but it's fairly clearly an IOI.
4. Went clubbing with her last week. Booze melted away her nervousness. We danced :rock: . she started grinding hard against me. I'd push her playfully back, then reluctantly reconnect. Eventually we were making out on the dancefloor and... my god. She's got the best lips I've ever kissed, and my one-itis basically shriveled up and vanished at the end of the night :rockon: . Didn't phone her or anything the next day, cause I knew I'd see her at work eventually.
5. Text her: "you should come out and party with me on Saturday" (which probably wasn't the best thing to send. It was ambiguous, but I wanted to retain the possibility of going out with her and her girlfriends again).
6. (a few days later): "sorry to take so long! Can't party, arrangements made."

I like her. I credit her with giving my one-itis a swift kick in its ass and I'd like our relationship to grow into something more. I think I'm doing a good job with her, so I don't have too many questions for the community.

That's it for now!

 

[Solomon]

YEs fucc Keyboard Jockying welcome to the squad!!!

First off I wanna say "big ups!!" to making your own journal, as you make your journey its gonna take many different roads, be patient and try to take it one step at a time, sometimes we get to ambitious, you are already ahead of 60% of the site because you are taking steps to "improve"

2. I recommend reading this thread, its helped me tremousdly there also some great great FR's in this thread

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=154489
^^^pure crack, rep's are welcome

3. If you could break your paragraphs with a headline it be much easier to read

4. You went on 6 dates and there is not even a kiss? or did I miss that somewhere? oh I see u did kiss her but on the 6th date? I think you waited to long if it doesn't happen on the first, always, and I mean always try to go for it on the second, the kiss tells you all you need to know trust me

5. Be very very careful with Sarah, messing with a co-worker can be hazardous. I've been lucky that all the co-workers i missed with, understood the word "discretion" make sure you both know to keep it on the low low, some punani at work ain't worth it fuccing with your paper unless u work at BK or some **** like that

Hope to see more including pics

Solo

 

[Halloween]

Thanks man.

2. I recommend reading this thread, its helped me tremousdly there also some great great FR's in this thread

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=154489
^^^pure crack, rep's are welcome

you rock! I was honestly hunting for a thread where someone distills the archives like you have. Solid. Looks like I've got some reading to do...

3. If you could break your paragraphs with a headline it be much easier to read

4. You went on 6 dates and there is not even a kiss? or did I miss that somewhere? oh I see u did kiss her but on the 6th date? I think you waited to long if it doesn't happen on the first, always, and I mean always try to go for it on the second, the kiss tells you all you need to know trust me

Yes! I'll fix the formatting (I want this thing to be fun to read), which incidentally probably caused you to raise point 4 above. To clarify, we made out on date #2. Some details: her lips seemed a bit tight at first. But over time she's become more comfortable kissing me, and we totally trade tongues now.

5. Be very very careful with Sarah, messing with a co-worker can be hazardous. I've been lucky that all the co-workers i missed with, understood the word "discretion" make sure you both know to keep it on the low low, some punani at work ain't worth it fuccing with your paper unless u work at BK or some **** like that

Agreed! I have dated co-workers in the past and learned the hard way that it can go very wrong. Fortunately this job won't end up on my resume and it's not anything I couldn't drop in a heartbeat. Sarah is very chill and she might be moving to another city in the new year.

The Beauty of Networking

Cool fact: Sarah seems to only hang out with girls, which grants me facetime with some really beautiful girls. Interesting coincidence: About a year ago I was crushing on a cashier (Jess) at the nearby grocery store and was trying to think of all these creative ways to ask her out. I wasted so much time worrying about how to ask her that I missed my opportunity when she stopped working there. Turns out Jess is friends with Sarah, which gave me an opportunity to observe Jess "in the field:"

Jess is an (objective)HB8 and when I was out clubbing with the girls (me and five girls dancing in our own little circle), Jess was getting approached by these buff guys, but her sh!tfilter is impenetrable. She's blowing them all off and I'm watching this. I give Jess a gruff look, pantomime ripping her heart out, having it beat in my hands, then dropping it on the floor and squishing it under my shoe. She laughs, leans in and yells at me (the music is pumping): "I have a boyfriend! ...and too many guy friends!" And I just give her a look that (I hope) communicates to her, "live a little."

So what am I saying? With this implicit connecntion to Sarah in the air, I feel like I get facetime, dancetime, and the chance to build rapport with these other hotties that I would not have even gotten CLOSE to in other settings.

Hope to see more including pics

hopefully nudes.

 

[Solomon]

Good ish

yeah man keep doing you, you'll be fine
If you post nudes then I think everyone will have to step their game up, even the KBJ's (although their proably to busy jacking off to them)

 

[Halloween]

Cold Approaches

I was inspired by Solomon's recent thread (am I a keyboard jockey? I hope not... but I'm not sure).

So I want to improve all aspects of my game. Not just the anti-AFC aspect, although that remains a priority, but also the cold approach aspect.

I think cold approaches are really important. Sometimes we get lucky and we get to meet girls through school, friends, other social opportunities. But if you can't cold approach, you RELY on these ways of meeting girls. They become a crutch.

So tonight I decided to go and see how good I am at cold approaching. I'm able to vibe with the girls, so I must be okay at the cold approach, right?

...wrong. Anyway, here's the report:

Prep

I didn't do too much prep. Any detail I fussed over would have undoubtedly gone unnoticed. One thing I did do is left my iPod at home. I think wearing an iPod puts me in my own head, makes me less receptive to my environment, creates an extra "barrier" that I have to take care of before I can approach (or be approached).

In fact, I'm going to make an effort now on to stow the iPod unless I'm at my desk job.

Bookstore

I hit the streets and they are empty because it's cold and probably not the best time of night (9:30 pm). Eventually I get to the Barnes & Noble and go inside.

First thing I notice is Cute Girl A sitting in a chair against the wall with her nose in a magazine. I mentally give her a checkmark as I move inside. I see Cute Girl B checking out biographies. As I pass, she's calling her friend over from across the store.

Routine

I have this routine I want to run. It's my first time with prepared material so I'm a bit nervous. I walk over to the gentleman's magazines and I select two of them. One has a steroid abuser having an aneurysm on the cover while gripping a dumbbell. Another has a "mature" but handsome actor, facial shot, on the cover. It is wrapped in cellophane.

Cute Girl B is on the other side of a bookshelf from me, head peeking over. Carrying two magazines AROUND the bookshelf would be awkward, so instead I hold the magazines, one in each hand, over the bookshelf and say, "I wuh-**crap, phlegm in my mouth. getting over a cold**-want to hear your opinion on this." She looks a bit afraid or even disgusted and my nervousness causes my voice to waver: "Which of these two guys is more attractive?"

It worked?

Immediately she is laughing, sizing the dudes up. She chooses the old guy and my confidence is back. I criticize her, "really? The old guy?" I should've busted her chops a bit more for choosing the old guy and maybe asked, Do you like Old Men? Old Men? but instead I ask, "well what about this guy? He's ripped!" and she said he looked scary and I reluctantly agreed.

Next she asks, "will that help you make your purchase?"

I laugh and rephrase the question, "Oh yeah, which one of these should I buy now?" Really I want neither of them and I think she knows I'm playing around. One of the magazines is coming out of its cellophane and it's getting awkward so I stack them together.

Now she's chatting me up, qualifying herself a bit, "I know that [old] guy. Where's he from? Oh yeah, he's [obscure cultural reference]."

Me: "Oh, you know this guy?" I'm in unfamiliar territory and the bookshelf is getting a little weird. I thank her and eject, feeling like I wouldn't have been able to keep up the fun anyway. As I'm going to the in-store coffee shop I hear her laughing to her friend about my crazy crap.

Sputtered out

After this I go to a few other shops, trying to find attractive girls. One girl (red head) is vacuuming the stairs in this used bookstore as I'm descending them. The hose is coiled everywhere and it's in my way and she's trying to get it out of the way. I say, "don't worry" and I guess I say it in the right way because she laughs and fixed her hair but I don't follow up.

Walking home, some girls pass me, make eye contact, but they are all smoky and overweight and I'm wanting none of it. Lame, I admit.

 

[Halloween]

Haha. Hilarious weekend.

Friday (evening)

I was supposed to be going out with Ricki for an after-dinner affair. I call her at 5pm to confirm. No answer. I text her, "meet me at [location] at 9!" About half an hour later I get back, "I thought you were going to call me to confirm yesterday or earlier. Sorry! I am already in my pajamas." Right.

So it's 5:30 pm, and she's (apparently) in her pajamas, cancelling our 9pm get-together. At this point in time I'm in another (engaged) lady-friend's car, we're going out shopping together. Once I'm done shopping with this lady-friend (about an hour) I decide to get back to Ricki.

I call her cell. No answer. I think about it for a bit, then text her "it's cool. But ... are you serious?" Her: "lol. Yes I am. Sorry I missed your call, I have a movie I rented on."

I know a playa when I see one. But I'm like whatever, don't answer her, and take myself out to see a movie. My silence probably unnerved her, so she texts during my own movie, "I'll call you tomorrow." I consider continuing the silent treatment but I think to myself "she's not quite hot enough for that extreme of a reaction." So instead I send her back "aight".

Saturday (daytime)

Ricki calls, but I missed her call since I was at the gym. She left a text, "I am sick today, so it's a good thing I rested yesterday! I won't be able to do anything tonight." At this point I'm not even upset, but actually kind of amused by her incongruity. But also I am intrigued. Why are you playing this game, Ricki?

I hypothesize that I actually may have been too aloof with her (I ditched her abruptly in the past), that she is actually performing a sh!t test to see if she's just another game I'm running. So I send her an email telling her how sorry I am she is sick, and said "maybe we can get together another time?" So this is a weird situation for me. Simultaneously, my emotional investment in Ricki has dropped substantially (she blasted my Friday, bad girl!) but I'm supplicating just the teeniest bit to see if it warms her up.

Saturday (night)

11pm, I've written Saturday evening off. Then I catch an old girlfriend on facebook chat. She's engaged now. Probably the hottest girl I've ever dated. I play the catch-up game, tease her a bit about her new career, talk movies a bit. Then, out of the blue: "let's see a movie." She's like "are you serious?" Long story short, we didn't go to see a movie, but she came over here for a bit (roommie obliviously ****blocking me), then we went joyriding in her sweet ride, grabbed coffee, made out in her car. She's telling me I should come out to lunch with her in the next week...

Sunday (evening)

Finally got back to Adrienne. Told her I'm going Christmas party-hopping next weekend and that she's welcome to come with. My interest level in Adrienne has dropped substantially in the last little while, and I can honestly say my HB8 was an overestimate caused by 1itis. She's a strong 6.5 with a nice bod. Make no mistake: this invite I extended to her is a very generous offer (I'm offering to introduce her to my friends, after all) and perhaps unwarranted given her apparent level of interest, but it's also the last one I'm making.

 

[Halloween]

Small update

Adrienne hasn't answered my invitation, and I don't expect she's going to. I'm ending contact. (OPA!)

We had good times, but something else is going on in her life now. In her case, I know I'm the prize. I expect she'll get in touch in the future (a year? two?) with a bit more experience under her belt.

And hey, that's only going to work in my favor

Ricki's Friday-night flaking hasn't really affected me, but I won't be trying to reach her for another date. I'm pretty sure she'll try for another one, but I'm only going to go out with her on the condition she buys me dinner. That will probably piss her off, hahaha. But I want to see what she says.

A pretty girl from my past (Laura) got in touch with me out of the blue and wants to go out. I tried to date her a few months ago but the circumstances weren't in our favor. She's a cool girl so we'll see where this goes.