"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Ooops, young neighbour from friendzone to plate to hate

TheyStaySameAge

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Messed up. Became friends with a neighbour up the street, a single mom in her late twenties. Got some guilt and regret now.

I'm in a small town and so pickings are slim. Made friends with her last summer. I smoke a bit of pot now and again, but this one is a chronic daily smoker. We used to hang, smoke a bit and and have a couple drinks once a week. It was a friendship and I didn't mind. My mentality was don't poop and eat in the same place you live.

The friendship progressed. One night in December we had another neighbour over, and right in front of him - her and I were blatantly giving each other kino back and forth all night.

We kept texting, and I turned her down a couple times. She asked to come over and I said 'No, have friends over. Not tonight.' That made her hamster wheel spin like crazy and she immediately asked our common neighbour friend what was up with me.

Put a joke gift in her door for Xmas, nothing serious. Spent $10. Then we starting going out. Once with a neighbour friend to a bar, then had her out for New Years alone. Kissed her on cheek end of both those nights. Slid the lips down and gave a second 5 second kiss on the neck one time. That set her off and she started texting later that night saying we should be kissing right now. Told me how good I was looking lately, I was a hottie, etc. Lol.

I responded to those texts with 'You're a cutey' and 'So when are we gonna cuddle and watch a movie' and she said 'Soon!!'.

Texted too much that week. Was out drinking with mates and texted her so we could plan a movie night in that week. She openly laid out her schedule with her free nights, BUT told me she had a date one night.

From there I lost my frame and game. Got butt hurt but hid it. Told her I had a date on her night off. Would call if my date cancelled.

Later I let her know I was a bit offended her mention of date. We text some more and now she is 'dating the guy' and she 'only dates one guy at a time'. I got drunk and got nasty by text and told her where to go.

Week later, big group of neighbour friends all go out to the pub including her. It was awkward. I told her I get a little moody from the winter and was sorry about the text. She seemed to accept it, but I think she was just being nice.

Sent a couple more texts letting her know I was open to friendship, and had been dating a lot. No response. My neighbours told her I was dating and they said she wouldn't stop with questions lol. Guess her interest was peaked again. She seemed bitter, and told common neighbours 'He had his chance' on 3 occasions.

The other day, saw her scraping ice off her car and stop to help. She was in a bad mood, and would barely look at me. Couldn't tell if she was pissed at me or cause she had the worst case of acne and blemishes I had ever seen on her.

I'm torn now. Miss the friendship. Plate possibility destroyed. Heard her and the guy she was dating is no big deal.

Thinking of inviting her over for drink and joint. Then re-escalate this to FWB.

Tips? Feedback? Thoughts?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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TheyStaySameAge

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Tictac said:
You worked long and hard to screw this up.

You succeeded.
Yep. I was worried about screwing up the friendship by sleeping with her (with her so close as a neighbour).

Now I'm out both a friend and a potential plate. Suppose I could give it time, and rebuild.
 

KingBeef

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I'm sorry man but you truly screwed up. She invited back to her place, you declined...and then later on you spazzed on her. Even with NC and a miracle, this is a done deal....it's over
 

Scaramouche

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Dear Stay same age,
An Acne scarred Single Mummie?...and you worry about her....She will come and she could become a plate if she plays her cards right,but you are the Prize not her...no way do you go begging for it!
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Bible_Belt

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This is yet another example of how men and women can't be friends.

BUT told me she had a date one night.


My response to that is usually something like, "cool. He can buy you dinner. Then afterward you can ditch him and text me."
 

BetterCallSaul

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It is over. Want to see where you screwed up? You got oneitis after just kissing? Good lord.

Texted too much that week. Was out drinking with mates and texted her so we could plan a movie night in that week. She openly laid out her schedule with her free nights, BUT told me she had a date one night.

From there I lost my frame and game. Got butt hurt but hid it. Told her I had a date on her night off. Would call if my date cancelled.

Later I let her know I was a bit offended her mention of date. We text some more and now she is 'dating the guy' and she 'only dates one guy at a time'. I got drunk and got nasty by text and told her where to go.
There are no adequate pictures to describe the level of facepalming you deserve.
 
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