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"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

grr

Senior Don Juan

Apr 20, 2006

I know this is completely OT, but I figure bvg is fun to annoy.

Realize Chuck Norris was bigger than Bruce Lee, and Bruce embarassed the **** out of ol' CN the one time Chuck got ****y with him.

Basically, yes Bruce was skinny, yes Bruce overtrained, etc. etc. BUT Bruce could have kicked your ass, easily. You may as well change your sig to Muhammad Ali. He was small for his fighting ability, too.

Main point: Quit puking your testosterone out through your keyboard (you must not be getting laid) and have some respect for the dead, punk.

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.