Only 'sexually attracted' to me?

[The_Wolf]

This is what she tells me. We chill 5 times, 4 of those are make-out included (2nd we kissed..). Now she tells me that she's only sexually attracted to me.
Where have I gone wrong? If anything, I would assume that she will be attracted to me by everything, but sexually. I consider myself an interesting guy...I have an interesting life (not trying to show off or anything, just speaking the truth here..) what happened here for crying out loud?

Did I take the DJ methods and mind set too seriously?

Is it because I did not tell her info and things about myself? and only tried to play it "cool"?

I would like some input here guys, I'm looking for the best DJs advice here (totally lost..)

I appreciate it.

 

[blackbelt2k]

why pay for the cow when the milk is free

 

[GtarPlayr73]

Did she actually want something more? Either sexually or an LTR? Did you try to close the deal sexually? She might have been wanting things to go in that direction after the third or fourth hang-out, but you never moved on it. Maybe she just wants sex and nothing more, but senses you want an LTR and that's why she said what she said. Maybe sex with her is still a green light. But if she wants an LTR, she likely just realized she was not into you as a person. If she was, she would have made an attempt to get past your "cool" persona, and gotten to know you deeper. Women eat up mystery and so you can never go wrong by withholding information about yourself. As a matter of fact, it's one of the best things you can do. Give away too much and there's nothing left for her to discover. Value takes time and WORK to uncover. However, if your "cool, quiet, and laid-back" vibe was lacking in genuine ease and confidence, then she didn't buy it and instinctively moved on.

 

[The_Wolf]

Gtar- She didn't want to go beyond "2nd base". I am aware of the notion that if I give away too much info about myself, the interest will go bye bye, that's why ( I think) I withheld talking about myself. But she does ask a lot, and practically begs me for some info...but I only noticed it now =/

It's not for sex, I know there is no chance even for a fvck buddy here.. she even said that b/c how things are, she doesn't see sex in the future if things continue this road (only sexual attraction - and not more).

But it just drives me crazy how she cannot be attracted to me on the other level. I've always thought (through past bad experiences) that the big obstacle is to sexually attract a girl. I never thought about attracting her further to keep it around, always thought that's gonna be the easier part. Guess I should rethink my strategy huh?

 

[Raikojo17]

this girl is just spewing BS talk.

in short, she doesnt like you and she's tryin to lay you off easy. her interest is gone and she trying to slowy move away without hurting you too bad.

move on and find a better chick

 

[GtarPlayr73]

Yep, Raikojo17 is right. It does suck bad when a girl can't appreciate you. It feels like you have failed in some way, at least when you're an AFC. But you are moving past that and if she couldn't get the chemistry right, NEXT. It's the AFC way to always assume that you did something wrong as you stand before the female throne. WRONG. She couldn't appreciate you. She couldn't plug into you. Sounds like she's just finicky and a flirt. Immature. She got some attention and locked lips a bit. She's all set now and so are you.

 

[ValleyDJing]

Where have I gone wrong?

Apparently nowhere. Stop b.itching and beat her guts in!

 

[The_Wolf]

Yep, Raikojo17 is right. It does suck bad when a girl can't appreciate you. It feels like you have failed in some way, at least when you're an AFC. But you are moving past that and if she couldn't get the chemistry right, NEXT. It's the AFC way to always assume that you did something wrong as you stand before the female throne. WRONG. She couldn't appreciate you. She couldn't plug into you. Sounds like she's just finicky and a flirt. Immature. She got some attention and locked lips a bit. She's all set now and so are you.

Thanks man..

We ended things last night. Girl was too complicated and has some physiological problems (dead serious, forgot to add that in). Too bad it didn't work out, after 3 months of one night stands, I finally actually like someone, and she turns out to be fvcked up in the head... =/

Interesting note though - She admitted that the C+F (and the sarcasm) does attract her on one way, but also "stressed our out" in a way (bad translation, sorry..there is no direct translation with this word). I thought it was kind of weird and interesting that she admitted that. She also mentioned that she felt very "pressured" throughout these 3-2 weeks (when we were together). I couldn't understand why.. am I too much to handle?

 

[Obsidian]

this has happened to me, and I'm sure it's happened to some of you also: You get to know a girl and get some kino/rapport/etc, but you were looking for an LTR. You find the girl attractive, but you just can't really talk to her easily or connect with her, so there just doesn't seem like much point.

if this can happen to a guy like me, you know it must happen to girls even more often

I know a lot of you guys are just looking for ONSs, but obviously the Wolf was looking for more because he was chillin' with this girl 5 times. Maybe there just aren't many similarities between you.

Pook says that being a DJ isn't about getting every girl to like you. It's about getting a girl who is perfect for you to love you.

 

[The_Wolf]

this has happened to me, and I'm sure it's happened to some of you also: You get to know a girl and get some kino/rapport/etc, but you were looking for an LTR. You find the girl attractive, but you just can't really talk to her easily or connect with her, so there just doesn't seem like much point.

if this can happen to a guy like me, you know it must happen to girls even more often

I know a lot of you guys are just looking for ONSs, but obviously the Wolf was looking for more because he was chillin' with this girl 5 times. Maybe there just aren't many similarities between you.

Pook says that being a DJ isn't about getting every girl to like you. It's about getting a girl who is perfect for you to love you.

Exactly..
Glad to know we still have some good people on this forum. Thanks for the help guys..

 

[Last Man Standing]

You naive foolish young bastards do not see reality for what it is!! She is a hor - and thus she is coming to you from the hor perspective - as 100% minus infitismal% of the females today do!!! This is the abnormal norm!!!

Quit getting emotional over hors and treat them like the hors that they are - they'll appreciate it!!!

Pimp hors - love women!!!!

 

[GtarPlayr73]

Glad you were able to take action and put an end to that situation. Isn't it just so annoying when a girl says she "felt pressured"? That means she wasn't able to make up her mind! She didn't know what she wanted. Who wants to be with a girl who doesn't KNOW if she wants you? F*ck that! Woman, step aside. I said, step aside. There's a lovely young thing behind you and she's been waiting patiently. No, this girl was pressured because she wanted someone, anyone, and you were available. She liked the attention. She liked the superficial physicality (which was attention as well). But she knew she wasn't feeling you as a person. She sensed you wanted something more and that's where the pressure came in.

 

[The_Wolf]

Glad you were able to take action and put an end to that situation. Isn't it just so annoying when a girl says she "felt pressured"? That means she wasn't able to make up her mind! She didn't know what she wanted. Who wants to be with a girl who doesn't KNOW if she wants you? F*ck that! Woman, step aside. I said, step aside. There's a lovely young thing behind you and she's been waiting patiently. No, this girl was pressured because she wanted someone, anyone, and you were available. She liked the attention. She liked the superficial physicality (which was attention as well). But she knew she wasn't feeling you as a person. She sensed you wanted something more and that's where the pressure came in.

You're right,I guess that's what it comes down to..

Now the search for a normal girl begins once again.. :crazy:

 

[Gangster Of Love]

She's lying. If she was 'sexually attracted' to you, she would have sex with you. Period. End of the story.

If she was sexually attracted to you, you could bang her, and then you'd have more of a shot to develop it into whatever you want. Making out buddies frames it as she having all the power to decide where she wants to take this.

 

[Vulpine]

I've heard this before as well.

I believe it's a goofy sh!t test of sorts designed to out your intentions and get a reaction they can read. Depending on the situation, it could just be slvt defense.

Last time I heard that I replied: "REeeeeaaaly? Well, I guess you'll have to find other things about me to be attracted to... after we get done screwing."

Then, proceeded to seduce and screw her.


Just like any other sh!t test, if you give them regard, the sh!t test bears the results they were looking for.

You have to blow them off and keep on truckin'.

 

[The_Wolf]

Interesting..didn't detect it as a "sh!t test". Never thought I would be "tested" by it, so I never really read about it. Can any of you guide me to a link where I might see more examples of this? and how to counter it..? or is it all in the Bible?

Thank you, guys

 

[Vulpine]

Rollo Tomassi's advice is good:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=115575

As for examples, well, run a search. There are buh-zillions of 'em.

I seem to remember so advice from Pook and Fingers also. Keep an eye out in your search for those guys.

 

[Vulpine]

Interesting..didn't detect it as a "sh!t test". Never thought I would be "tested" by it, so I never really read about it.

Think about it: She said that she was what she suspected you were. Sneaky.

If you reacted sympathetically, as in "i can relate", she confirms her suspicion and you get the boot.

If you acted disgusted, you proved to be clingy and further along in the "relationship".

If you act disappointed...

There are lots of reads for lots of reactions.

Her motivation was likely sex oriented. The test was (as far as I see), "is he with me for a quick lay, or, does he like me for me?"

And it looks like you failed the test because she's gone, now, huh?

I've heard of, and been in, other situations where LSE girls just throw a wrench in the works with a statement like that. It's a self-destructive thing.

Pay extra attention to reading the EMOTIONAL aspect of a statement of that. It will help you understand the question and the test, and help you pass.

As far as identifying sh!t tests, I hold any and all comments that come out of nowhere and are seemingly retarded as suspect.

 

[The_Wolf]

Another thing that bugs me: (I'm just thinking this "relationship" over now..and see what I can correct for next time).


She complained that I only call and text her to set up dates, and that I never call just to see what's up with her and just "talk". Honestly, I'm not the phone-type, I hate talking on it - and the DJ "rule" is to talk on the phone the least you can..

So wtf is she complaining about? I told her she has her other "guy friends" to talk to about blah blah and some other blah. I told her I prefer to talk when we chill - rather than a 30 minute call at night.

Any insight on this? (and if you can, exclude the fact that I told her to talk to her other friends, I'm just asking about the "you don't call enough" crap).

Once again - thanks

EDIT: Also - with questions like "where is this relationship going?" - I have a real dilemma. On one hand, I actually do want to progress this relationship (With her, specifically, 1-2 weeks ago) and not only in a sexual way...and that's the truth. But on the other, I know I should not tell her that - and just elegantly exit my way through the question...

Girls...it never ends with them :crazy:

 

[Charm]

You Have Oneitus. Date Other Women Until She States She Wants Exclusivity Or Youll Pay