Online Sarging

[Francisco d'Anconia]

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What is a realistic emails/replies ratio?
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Depends, what's the quality of the emails that you send? Don't expect much if you send the standard form letter filled with the the same stuff that most guys send.

 

[cedd]

you cd have a 100% ratio if you send one email and have one reply...

BTW send emails to the women who catch your attention (pics AND profile). If you stand out the crowd by not writting common stuff about you could expect having a good ratio.

I sent a few emails to a few likely lasses- how long will people who like my profile take to reply?

you can have a reply the same day but on average 2 or 3 days is more realistic. If shes often online and doesnt reply after 5/7 days thats not a good sign...

The most important part will be what you will write in your next emails, because your objective is to have her OFFLINE as soon as possible.

cheers

 

[joe bloggs]

Thanks for the advice about times - that is the sort of information I'm looking for.

At the moment I've sent six emails with the earliest sent about 7 days ago and the latest about 3 days. In terms of their tone, I'm trying to strike the proper balance between being different while not being completely off the wall. I don't know if this is correct strategy but I'm introducing myself making a jokey remark, talking about mutual interests and then suggesting if she's interested that we could maybe meet up for a drink - is this too wimpish?

To be honest - this reminds me on the time a few months ago when I was applying for jobs on Wall Street. I sent of 50 applications and got about 5 replies - 3 of which were form rejections that arrived months after I had sent of the application - not good.

 

[joe bloggs]

Also, can anyone give me some advice about sending effecitve emails to women?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

You haven't searched the forum, have 'ya?

 

[joe bloggs]

You haven't searched the forum, have 'ya?

Well, actually I have. There is a lot of debate on So Suave about whether online sarging is worth it, a few stories from the Luke Skywalker's of this world and some stuff about MySpace. There is also some stuff about IM.

However, I don't really fall into these groups. I've already bought a month's subscription, I'm trying to approach 20-somethings on Match.com not college girls on MySpace, I'm emailing not IM'ing people and I'm (hopefully) not at the stage where I need to be considering the merits of fleshlights/hookers/mail order brides!

I've just got two questions

a) How many replies can I expect given than I've sent 10 emails.
b) Is there anything I can do to increase the number of replies?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Well, actually I have. There is a lot of debate on So Suave about whether online sarging is worth it, a few stories from the Luke Skywalker's of this world and some stuff about MySpace. There is also some stuff about IM.

1. Take Luke and MySpace with a grain of salt. Besides, MySpace is a social network site, not a dating site. Don't confuse the two.
2. There are a ton of more thorough threads out there about the subject specifically towards "how two's" as opposed to a bunch of threads written by detractors who haven't been able to figure out what works (or search the forum to get ideas).
3. IM's are just a medium. It's as close to dating as text messaging.

However, I don't really fall into these groups. I've already bought a month's subscription, I'm trying to approach 20-somethings on Match.com not college girls on MySpace, I'm emailing not IM'ing people and I'm (hopefully) not at the stage where I need to be considering the merits of fleshlights/hookers/mail order brides!

Your best bet is to read the threads about online dating instead of the threads you've read thus far.

I've just got two questions

a) How many replies can I expect given than I've sent 10 emails.

It depends. How many women are on the dating site you're using? It's the median number of the ratio of how many guys had written to them, how many emails were answered, how many of the emails were of the same quality of the emails you sent and whether they were sent to the exact same women you've sent your emails to. If you can answer those questions you can calculate the true answer to your question.

b) Is there anything I can do to increase the number of replies?

Absolutely. Simply increase the quality of your emails and write only to women who would find you interesting.

 

[joe bloggs]

Maybe I'm going around in circles or not making myself clear but all the previous threads on online dating on this site do not answer the questions that I have been asking, which is why I set up this thread!

I know everyone's experience with online dating is a little bit different but can anyone who has used Match.com tell me the percentage of emails that they sent that got replies and any specific tips for writing an email that women will actually reply to. I mean do I have to send 15, 25, 100 emails to be reasonably sure of one reply?

For the purposes of clarification: when I have said that I have sent 10 emails I mean that I am sending one email each to ten women rather than 10 emails to one woman.

 

[Miguel]

Well it depends. I'm not to awsome, but in all my sarges, both online and offline, I live by the 1 in 3 rule. Yep, thats about it.

Realistically, it makes sense... however if you send the right emails you can get a response almost insatantly 100% of the time... I've actually been working on a little online neg 'hit and run' thats becomming quite good at getting numbers fast.

Example:
Hey, I was looking over your profile on "Sites name" and I kinda thought you look like an intresting person. I mean, that 'hair stye' really speaks something to me.. whats it called, the flop?

Now the trick here is it will get you a response like 100% of the time... and often an angry one. But at least the girls getting in touch with you! lol.

But seriously, do online meetings like meetings in real life, question, comment, neg/joke and repeate. I'm no jesus at this, but I've seen a couple of my friends run it pretty successfull with high end ratios.

 

[joe bloggs]

So a 33% response rate is possible - its good to know that its not 10, 5 or even 2%!

This is an email that I sent a few days ago (I've cut out some of the personal details for privacy reasons). Is anyone interested in critiquing it and/or suggesting improvements for the future?

------------

Hey *****,

Saw your profile and wondered if you'd be interested in meeting up for a drink. To tell you a bit about myself, I'm a 27 and I'm junior faculty at *****. Like yourself, I've spent time in Virginia, though in **** rather than Richmond. I also like movies and wine tasting or just eating out.

Looking forward to hearing from you,

******

 

[n00bPimp]

This one is from mASF. Its what a good profile should like:

About Me:
-I once fought in Kosovo in the late 90's against the Serbian Government. Later I found out I was really in Mexico passed out drunk underneath a pool table.
-I was once declared Prime Minister of England by Queen Elizabeth. We made hot steamy love right not too long after. She's limber for an older lady.
-I am hung like an average guy......6 inches. No more, no less.
-I have the IQ of 95, but the maturity of a 10 year old. Don't talk about my ****ing mama!
-I am the person who started ninja society in New England. Thank me for all those cool weapons I imported into Hampton Beach stores.
-My favorite musician is Boy George. He may be gay, but who am I to judge people who take it in the butt?
-I don't drink alcohol or do drugs but I do drink bleach and smoke lawn clippings.
-I like monkeys. Sometimes they speak to me and I understand their pain of monkey life.

About you:
-Huge boobs.
-Not blonde.
-Good personality, you have to laugh at my jokes no matter how terrible the really are.
-Have to like sex. Any girl who doesn't put out after the 2nd date is loser. If you sleep with me on the first date then you're just a tramp.
-No smoking, heroin injections are okay though.
-Enjoy paying for me to eat dinner in a ritzy resturant. I like Prime Rib and expensive wine.

Now let's start the REAL insanity. Hit me with an email. Do not forget to include a picture.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

So a 33% response rate is possible - its good to know that its not 10, 5 or even 2%!

This is an email that I sent a few days ago (I've cut out some of the personal details for privacy reasons). Is anyone interested in critiquing it and/or suggesting improvements for the future?

------------

Hey *****,

Saw your profile and wondered if you'd be interested in meeting up for a drink. To tell you a bit about myself, I'm a 27 and I'm junior faculty at *****. Like yourself, I've spent time in Virginia, though in **** rather than Richmond. I also like movies and wine tasting or just eating out.

Looking forward to hearing from you,

******

If that's your reply I'd lower your response rate to below 5%, it reads like every other boring nice guy online without much substance nor originality. To put it into perspective, any guy around your age who enjoys movies, eating at restaurants and drinking various wines can write the exact same thing. Nothing special or genuinely unique, you guys would be considered a dime a dozen. Low quality emails get low responses plain and simple.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

:cuss: Fvckin' DP.

 

[slaog]

So a 33% response rate is possible - its good to know that its not 10, 5 or even 2%!

This is an email that I sent a few days ago (I've cut out some of the personal details for privacy reasons). Is anyone interested in critiquing it and/or suggesting improvements for the future?

------------

Hey *****,

Saw your profile and wondered if you'd be interested in meeting up for a drink. To tell you a bit about myself, I'm a 27 and I'm junior faculty at *****. Like yourself, I've spent time in Virginia, though in **** rather than Richmond. I also like movies and wine tasting or just eating out.

Looking forward to hearing from you,

******

Yeah F D'A is right, that won't get you much replies.


Ok, there are a number of things going on here.

By asking if they'd be interested in going for a drink:
- You're thinking ahead too much. You just want a friendly chat with them. You need them to prove themselves to you so by being too quick to ask them for a drink they'll know you're an AFC. They'll see you as being desperate for a relationship where you should ideally not really care about the outcome.

You're just giving a load of facts:
- Stop talking like a robot! You want to give them an impression of your personality so instead of saying I spent time in virginia try saying something good that you liked about virginia and maybe it might trigger some emotions in the girl

Give them a reason to reply:
- You just gave them a bunch of facts. No questions for them to reply to. When a women reads that email you sent she'll be thinking OK.. he likes this, he's been there... and nothing. How would you reply to it if you were a woman? Why not ask her what she thought of virginia for example? That'd make it much easier to reply to. Just give them a reason to reply.

 

[joe bloggs]

Some good ideas - thanks! It's a pity that I've emailed most of the attractive women in my area already - I suppose it would be AFC to email them again?

Is it ok to say in my profile that 'I'm unapologetically Old School and ambitious - those wanting a hippy need not apply'?

UPDATE: I actually got an email - unfortunatly not from one of the ten women I emailed. To be blunt this women is chubby, extremly plain (about a 4) and lives about 80 miles away from where I live. Given that I've been complaining about the women who haven't replied to my emails, how do I let her down politely without ignoring her?

 

[mtnkng]

The title of the email you send should stand out as well. Women get too many emails and one with an interesting subject line is more likely to get read first.

I've had some success pulling out stuff from their profile....don't bother with "we have so much in common"....boring.

You need to project yourself as an interesting guy in your profile and emails.

Yes, ask open ended questions...they have something to respond to.

Don't go for a meeting or phone number right away....somewhere around 2 or three emails will make them more comfortable in going for a meeting or giving up the phone number.

That said....my profile is a spoof. Totally opposite of a "winner". Its funny because its over the top bad (live with mom, have one arm longer than the other and I like long toe nails and collect string). It is getting responses....the women think its funny...and Im getting emails. But I really don't care. I'll probably cancel the subscription at the end of the term. Meeting women in person through social engagements is way more fun.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Some good ideas - thanks! It's a pity that I've emailed most of the attractive women in my area already - I suppose it would be AFC to email them again?

Is it ok to say in my profile that 'I'm unapologetically Old School and ambitious - those wanting a hippy need not apply'?

UPDATE: I actually got an email - unfortunatly not from one of the ten women I emailed. To be blunt this women is chubby, extremly plain (about a 4) and lives about 80 miles away from where I live. Given that I've been complaining about the women who haven't replied to my emails, how do I let her down politely without ignoring her?

Re-read your profile and ask yourself if you should really be surprised that you were approached by the woman you described? Is the way you are presenting yourself in your profile is anything like the emails you've been sending? If it is, think about what you do whenever you receive a piece of mail telling you that you can save money on either insurance or pharmaceuticals? How much attention do you give that piece of male as opposed to an issue of Maxim or Sports Illustrated?

As for replying to the woman who emailed you consider what a woman would write if she was in your position. Also, what mtnkng touched on is mostly true and there are multiple page threads throughout the forum going into great detail on all of it, just do a search.

 

[joe bloggs]

Good point - I'll be nice and wait a day before I click the 'no thanks' button. I also noted that I had set my profile to 'within 100 miles'.

One other question - is it ok to be jokingly arrogant in the type of women that I am looking for? I can't find that much in the forum about striking a balance.

I'm thinking of adding this:

"In terms of women I like slim blondes, sexy brunettes and slinky redheads. Indeed, come to think of it, if you're not a model then I'm not interested. I dumped my former girlfriend when she lost her modelling contract."

 

[insomniac]

Also, can anyone give me some advice about sending effecitve emails to women?

Have a good picture in your profile. OK, I'm only half-serious about that, but your photo's going to pop up in the e-mail she receives and that's going to influence how she views what your wrote. If you're good looking enough, you could even get away with "hI do u want 2 chat?" (I'd question the quality of a woman who would even respond to that however)

Tips for sending e-mails:

• Keep it short. Three sentences max.
• Funny, but not ****y. It doesn't translate well through e-mail.
• Be specific about her. Pick out some detail in her profile (the more obscure the better) and get her to talk about it.
• Leave out formalities ("I look forward to hearing from you" = boring nice guy)
• Don't ask to meet right away. How can you be sure you even want to meet her? She first has to prove herself worthy.

The message you want to send is "I'm intelligent and charming enough to notice the little things about you, but it makes no difference to me if you reply or not."

Most of the time, you'll get a response within a day, or never.

If she does respond:

• Don't write to her anymore than she writes to you, in both frequency and content.
• Don't be overly impressed by anything she says (i.e. don't put her on a pedestal)
• Do talk about things that are happening now in both of your lives (what you did over the weekend, what you're doing tonight, etc.)
• Once you build some rapport, then you can start being a little ****y.
• Talking on the phone is optional.
• Three to five e-mail exchanges over a week. Usually she'll ask to meet in person by then...if not, then you ask.

Signs that you may want to drop her:

• Takes more than a day to write back (unless she's out of town or has some other valid reason that she can't respond). Also, beware of the ones who go cold and disappear, only to return a couple weeks later with how sorry they are they haven't written back.
• Never asks anything about you. If I didn't see a "?" anywhere in her first response, I wouldn't bother writing again.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Now the trick here is it will get you a response like 100% of the time... and often an angry one. But at least the girls getting in touch with you! lol.

You get a response, but the problem is they could also neg back to you, and if you don't look attractive enough vs how they are looking so you can get away with it, then it doesn't work. I got blocked by negs. (i.e. saying a woman's smile looked fake or sending more than a couple or three emails which were loaded with negs).