"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Online Phone Teaser: Have you seen this pattern?

al77

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You probably seen that situation before 10 times already:
we exchanged 2-3 emails, and she send me her number.
I said "I'll call you later"... call her twise at 9pm, than at 10 pm.
She didn't pick up the phone. Waited a day. REpeated the same 9 and 10 calls. She again didn'tt pick up teh phone.
All right... waited a couple of days and emailed here:

Me:
>I hope you feel great before your graduation! I have
>listen a couple of times to your voice greetings and
>figured out I want to ask you what is a good time to
>call you? ;)
>
>Talk to you later,
>
>Al

She:
It really doesn't matter. I have an odd schedule. Is your number a 248 area code? I have seen it a couple of times but missed the call. I didn't know if I should call back. I should be availabe Wed. evening if you want to try then.

I keep getting calls from xxx-xxx numbers. Is that you? Or should I wait for yyy-yyy numbers. I know we will talk soon. Today I will be busy, but feel free to call me anytime
tomorrow.
Have a great day!
Talk to you soon.

I told her "I'll call you tomorrow after 9pm", called her on that day
after 9.... guess what? Right :)) she didnt pick up the damned phone. I left a short message "Hi, I am Al, pls call me back at.."
Sure, she didn't bother to call back.

I am also very sure if I wait a couple of days and email her back she will be again friendly, says something liek "I was busy... sorry...feel free to call me... any time"... and again wont pick up the phone.

It would be ok, if it is a rare case. But I already have seen svereal such starge chicks. Why the heck she give me her phone number if she is not interested? Why then she emailed me back saying...oh...been busy feel free to call.. and again didn't pick up the phone.

What's wrong with her.. or with me? Why does she want to tease a guy with her phone number and play this little game of extreme flakiness?
Is there anything I can do to fix the situation except NEXTing her?
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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floorman81

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Well, to tell you the truth I am not a big fan of leaving messages. It just seems to put the ball too much in their court. I tend to call only once a day and not leave a message, I think this leaves most girls kind of wondering who in the heck has called them.

I think once you know a girl is purposely avoiding your calls, it is pretty much time to next her. But you could just leave her a strait up message and say something on the lines of how disapointed you are that she turned out to be the type of girl to flake out on a guy. And say that you guess she is just not the person you thought she was and you won't be calling her anymore.

Just my opinion!
 

LuckyStrike

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I agree with floorman81. Next her! She's not even worth the time! If they're interested, then they make the time!
 

libre

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100%

Dear sir

According to me you did everything right. Now that she didn't respond. Drop her without a second thought. Don't call her if she emails you.

If she finally calls back, listen, but let her prove herself.

Next!
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Lost In Translation

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don't respond to her emails of if you do say call me after ie.9pm

FLIP THE SCRIPT

she is doing the whole " i'm so busy and cool "

but the b*tch is screening your calls

watching your number come up

b*tches do this


why don't you take control by saying RING ME when you wanna come out and have some fun

then forget about her and move on

if she gets her act together good

if she never calls you again you got your pride and you got rid of a flakey b*tch in the process



Lost In Translation :D

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**

Quote: Don Juanabbe
“ What are you Vanilla-bloody-Ice? “

Quote: Player_Supreme
“ But if a ho wants to just be friends then don't waste your time. And I'm a debase character so your hooking up with her friend in front of her was sweet to my ears. “

Quote: Player_Supreme
“I've taken a fat chick and put her on a diet and training program and created my own super ho. “

Quote: PuertoRican_Lover
“First off - she is just another hor who has opened her legs to another man - you are no one special - and there are no "Greatest" to hors - you are just the next pimp in line!!! “

Quote: PuertoRican_Lover
“ the 'pimp' mentality works today because you are living in a time such that there are an overabundance if hors - this is the Pimps playground!! Pimps and hors go together like bread and butter - they are complementary natures!!! Pimps need hors like hors need pimps!! “

Quote: squirrels
“ You NEVER pay as a supplicative or bargaining measure, though. The reward that she gets for her affection is YOUR affection. The reward she gets for her sex is YOUR sex. The second you start buying her stuff to keep her around, keep her entertained in your presence, etc...you're compensating for not having what it takes to seduce the woman, and that's totally unacceptable. “
 

al77

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Well... there is some additional info:

She is graduating these days, and she is moving...sure she can be busy? But not that busy. Moreover when I emailed her she is very sweet: "sorry.. I just was not able to pick up the phone...feel free to call me...".

But looking at this trend she i snot going to pick up the phone at all, because.. now comes the most important moment guys: she has a profile with some relatively cute pics! These girls are getting a tons of offeres of other guys CONSTANTLY, so sure... she can be really busy.

Conclusion: does it make sense to even bother talk to somebody who has a cute pic?
 

Taser

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No sense burning bridges

If she had any IL, she'd return your call.

It's so easy to just "next her." But then, you cut off any possibility of tapping her later on.
You need to next her but leave a door open. I was trying to think of a suave way to do that; then I read L.I.T.'s post about "Flipping The Script":

Why don't you take control by saying: "RING ME when you wanna come out and have some fun."
Perfect. :cool:

Call her one more time, leave L.I.T's message, then never think of this bird again.
 

Bonhomme

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No, no, no

Taser took the words right out of my typing finger.

Not leaving messages is weak. Period.

Leave a message.

It's a good way of screening for interest level. A gal with a truly high IL will call back. A good way to weed out time-wasters.

Leave a message, and if the gal doesn't call, put her way back on the "back burner."

She could be shy, but chances are she's not interested enough. Although online gals do tend to be more shy than ones that you meet in person.

*******

Cute gals are used to getting thousands of emails from dorks. Just having a better attitude could reverse the game so they get obsessed with you. But watch out, once they find you're human, the IL can deflate just as quickly and markedly. Not a good situation for people who are inconsistent.
 

LongDrinkofWater

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I had a girl do this to me recently. What's different is that we've known each other for a while (guess I became "human" as Bonhomme put it). Usually setting up something was not a big deal, and she would make the time to go out. If she couldn't make it, she'd tell me why, and then suggest another time. She'd make the time. Also, any excuse she gave me was instantly more plausable because she was still making an effort to get together.

Now recently, that's changed. After trying only twice (via email - this is how we'd always set things up), I felt as though I was getting the runaround. My last email to her was simply the following:
Pretty busy gal, huh. Shoot me an email when you'd like to get together......

Now she's a really great girl, and I really like getting together with her, but she's not going to hear from me again until she takes the incentive to call me.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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al77

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I have to agree with you on that.

I wonder why women do that? She gave me her phone humber over email herself: I didn't ask her to do that, and didn't even suggest "lets get together". So I got a number... called her on two days with one day in between: left a brief message to call me back. Nothing.

Just what the heck she was thinking volunteering me her phone number? Would not be easier for her just to emailing me?
 

Ricky

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Good stuff.
 

Jamo

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simple

she is giving you the hint too subtlely that she is otherwise busy with other options, and you are a backup plan at best. She is keeping you on hold buddy.

I have done it to girls who chase me, but which I have placed on the backburner (potential interest, but not as high as the current options)...I can't spin too many plates....
 

Ricky

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There has to be a way to turn this around on a consistent basis.

I'm thinking an NLP loaded email would help, but the content I'm not sure of.

Somehow one has to generate higher interest in the girls. We can't just give up on all of them.
 

TooColdUlrick

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very simple Al77. send her this email....

i'm done playing phone tag with you. if your finger isn't broken my number is xxx-xxxx. check you later.

the end.

on the 1% chance she actually calls you, don't answer. don't return her call for a week. if she emails you in the meantime, don't reply.

don't let chicks get away with this sh!t. at a minimum it's disrespectful.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Moving_Target

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Originally posted by TooColdUlrick
very simple Al77. send her this email....

i'm done playing phone tag with you. if your finger isn't broken my number is xxx-xxxx. check you later.

the end.

on the 1% chance she actually calls you, don't answer. don't return her call for a week. if she emails you in the meantime, don't reply.

don't let chicks get away with this sh!t. at a minimum it's disrespectful.
Let me add a....Me Too.
:cheer:
 

MightyMate

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Next her. Shes making fun of You. You were also calling way too much and acted AFC i dont think You can fix it now. Only by meeting, which You cant make without beeing AFC now.
Next is only possiblity.
 

al77

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Originally posted by TooColdUlrick
very simple Al77. send her this email....

i'm done playing phone tag with you. if your finger isn't broken my number is xxx-xxxx. check you later.

the end.

on the 1% chance she actually calls you, don't answer. don't return her call for a week. if she emails you in the meantime, don't reply.

don't let chicks get away with this sh!t. at a minimum it's disrespectful.
Thats fun :)
But I think it is a good direction. I met her online, she had a cute pic and that alone makes me think she's got may other dudes "from online" who chase her from different loeve of AFCness.

Moreover I did acted AFCs there, this is what I have to work on.
How come so many guy learn how not to be an AFc in a miniute for other it takes years?

Anyway, my main conclusion is the following: cute women who have cute pics only have a lot of "other dating opportunities". Therefore they are willing to play games.
Therefore they are not the best women to contact and pursue.
I am going to stick to girls without pics: they do not receive much attention from guys, but some of those girl can be quite cute.
 

Ol'BlueEyes

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Came up with this

If, on the first call you get her voice mail, try:
"This is so-and-so. I'll call you back at a better time."

Keeps the ball in your court. Besides, in this cell phone/caller ID age, she's likely to have your number anyway.
 
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