"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Online personals - ratio of responses

da_hunter

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Online personals - ratio of responses.

What is your ratio of messages sent out, to responses, when using the online personals? For example, one out of every 3. That's not my ratio, but I was just wondering what a good rate of return is for online game?

Also - what is your ratio of those responses that turn into dates? Like for every HB you message with, how many do you actually meet in person?

so... fill in the blanks

For every ___ girls I message on the online personals, ___ message me back.

For every ___ girls that message me back, ___ turn into actual dates.
 
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"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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da_hunter said:
What is your ratio of messages sent out, to responses, when using the online personals? For example, one out of every 3. That's not my ratio, but I was just wondering what a good rate of return is for online game?
It depends, how good are the messages that you send out?
 

BlahBBlah

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Since I put up some hotter pictures of me lately, I've been getting all kinds of responses from women lately. It's crazy. But it sucks because most of the time they aren't even hot enough for me. They could at least back it up with a good personality but they don't even have one in most cases...
 

da_hunter

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Francisco d'Anconia said:
It depends, how good are the messages that you send out?
Mine are pretty good, but I'm just wondering what other people's batting averages with the online personals are.
 

da_hunter

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Guys -

do you get responses from what? 1 out of every 10 or so?
and out of those women that you message with, how many turn into day2's? 1 out of every 10?

what is your ratio?
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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Mine are pretty high (60%) but then again I don't send out a ton of emails. I actually get more responding to my profile but many aren't my type.

Usually there's a run of interest after the first of the year because a lot of people break up after the holidays. Two women who I haven't talked to in several months have have written to me in the last couple of weeks.

Yeah, there's more interested women out there but being the rebound guy isn't what it's cracked up to be. You have to do a bit more work when qualifying them. I've just sent off a reply to one asking her how long she's been single.
 

da_hunter

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Yeah I'm thinking this should be a good time to pick up since a lot of people are on the rebound and V-day is just around the corner.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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da_hunter said:
Yeah I'm thinking this should be a good time to pick up since a lot of people are on the rebound and V-day is just around the corner.
That's a very good point (V-day). Be careful though, some women will want to do whatever they can to have a guy (any guy) for the holiday. I had a run of offers to accompany women to their Christmas parties. It was apparent that they were just looking for a date because we had hardly any similarities in our profiles.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Yep, things seem to be a lot simpler now. Case in point I just traded a couple of emails with a the woman I mentioned earlier in the thread. She gave me her number and she's taking me out to dinner and dancing on Saturday. She seems like a woman on a mission... We will see...
 

da_hunter

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I really hate the 'trading emails' phase where we're sending emails back and forth and you are trying to be charming over email. I wish we could go straight to either phone or day2. Emails sucks for conveying your personality.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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da_hunter said:
I really hate the 'trading emails' phase where we're sending emails back and forth and you are trying to be charming over email. I wish we could go straight to either phone or day2. Emails sucks for conveying your personality.
I know, that's why I move it offline ASAP. It took about an hour to trade a couple of emails and to confirm the date. I bypassed talking to her on the phone since I was going after a date. Why half-step?

I actually wanted to see her after work before going clubbing with the guys but she was busy and countered with taking me out the next evening. I like it when women do things to qualify themselves. :D
 

Don Juan Montoya

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If i send 100 emails on Yahoo or Match, i will get around 10 responses & end up getting maybe 1 or 2 dates. I banged a good looking Indonesian girl a few years ago off yahoo, but i have not had the best luck w/ online dating. Crappy odds. Just remember that 20% of the profiles u see, are fake. The online website puts alot of there own profiles up to attract subscribers....& figure another 20% are attention wh0res that have no interest in dating & want to see how many responses they get.
 

rrrrr

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I would estimate 10 responses for every 100. It's gotta be way low, probably even lower than that. We have seen that women will get 5-10 e-mails per day, who knows how serious she is taking it, and unless you REALLY impress her, she ain't gonna bite.
 

da_hunter

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10/100 = 1/10 responses is a good ratio from what i've read in dyd's online game program.

now i think it takes skill to raise 1 or 2 dates to 5-10.
 

da_hunter

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Francisco d'Anconia said:
I know, that's why I move it offline ASAP. It took about an hour to trade a couple of emails and to confirm the date. I bypassed talking to her on the phone since I was going after a date. Why half-step?

I actually wanted to see her after work before going clubbing with the guys but she was busy and countered with taking me out the next evening. I like it when women do things to qualify themselves. :D

i have been waiting at least a day to respond to new emails. i don't want to make it like i am always at the computer hovering for new responses - even though, as a software developer - i am pretty much always by the computer. i respond to all my other emails fairly quickly - but not personals related emails.

i honestly don't know if this is a good thing to do. i used to respond to them more quickly - but then i started thinking that maybe that was why some of them fizzled out. so i gave myself the 24 hr time constraint before responding. i may be totally wrong about this, but that's why the game of 'email tag' seems to take longer with me.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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ryannath

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Don Juan, true about some being attention *****s online. I know a girl that I met online and she said mostly she's just on there for ego and to see who wants her. But, me and her did end up having sex, so I guess it wasn't all ego.
 
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