Online girlfriend (meeting soon?) - Real life girlfriend (recently) - wtf do I do now

[RomanticWolf]

Sorry, it's a long one here guys...

In a difficult position here as I don't want one of these girls hurt... especially the online one... don't laugh yet, we are suppose to meet so it's not one of those weird online girlfriend things...

Okay so I had a plan and that was to see this girl I have been talking to for over a year now. She lives in the Philippines. She's one of the rare good ones you meet there. Sweetest girl I ever met, does everything to try make me happy, sings me songs and sends it via email, downloads music I listen to, movies I watch, listens to me rant about my life, all those things you can dream of. The sort who would treat you like a king.

We been talking pretty much every single day. Texting, calling (viber), camming (cam s3x) you name it we done it. She's spoken to my family too so everyones familiar with her. She's 25. I'm 29. She's a virgin still. Hasn't had any relationships. So she's pretty new to all these things. Basically she's in love with me. She's very sensitive too. If I don't reply or say I'm busy she kind of gets all sad like she's depending on me for her happiness. She says she missed me everyday. She tells everyone I'm her bf. kind of my fault because I told her I thought of her as my gf and also been telling people I had one. We plan to meet in Hong Kong in a couple months when I get holiday at work for a couple of weeks. She even got a second job just to save up for it.

We been planning it for a while now as her visa to my country got denied late last year and it really was a downer... but the trip to HK can happen and is suppose to if I want to do it... it's just that, last weekend something happened. I met a girl, in real life. She's Japanese and is here until August (she's kind of not planning anything but she says she doesn't wanna go back to Japan) - now she's 30 so kind of my age and has more life and relationship experience than the other girl. She's more of the woman, the other is more of the young girl growing up. She's also really nice and we pretty much clicked the first date (I met her on a chat app on my iphone via a nearby feature, telling me that she was someone near my location and we just started chatting, two days later we met) -touching, poking, all that stuff... felt very comfortable with her like we already met. We met again the very next day and spent it at the beach just lying down almost all day on the grass and kissing, cuddling, talking... was great. Now the thing is, I still care about the online girl very much, she's so sweet and does everything for me. But lately she noticed I stopped talking to her like before. Haven't spoken on the phone for a few days now. She's sort of naive so she doesn't suspect anything. I feel really really bad and dunno what to do. and if I do go to HK, then it'll be like I'm cheating on the girl Im seeing now!

I know they're both not really my girlfriends. But these girls really are fond of me and I see them as a girlfriend. The Filipino basically has an idea in her mind that we will meet, fall in love and get married blah blah (but the reality is not easy, with all that visa stuff... very very stressful and I'm sort of not looking forward to that.) I think I will still go to HK and meet her there (shes flying there to meet me and we will stay in a hotel) - we already spoke about s3x and she wants to lose her v's to me. If she found out I was seeing another girl in real life she would probably die inside. It would break her heart so bad. I feel like a cheating dog somehow. Maybe it's because I promised her things, that we would meet, that we are together (even our facebook says so) - but the need for real love, pyshcial touching of a woman is killing me and this Japanese girl sort of saved me from that. I haven't kissed a woman in a while since my last gf. Now I'm getting all those lovey feelings again. Not saying I'm in love with her or anything but it's just nice to be hanging out with a woman, dating and kissing etc. I really don't know what to do right now... I know I'm gonna keep seeing this Japanese girl then I'll just get more involved and the Filipino girl will start to realize something. Because I just dont have time to give them both full attention. I really care for the filipino girl but the country she lives in makes it so hard for us to make things work. It does work and has with many couples but boy oh boy it's not easy. And I never liked the hard way.

Any ideas about this situation? It's bothering me...

 

[El Suave]

When women do what you are doing, they call it dating. They don't feel bad about it, neither should you. You are waiting to see who you want to be with.
Since none of them has pushed for a relationship until now, keep doing what you're doing.

 

[El Payaso]

Do what you want to do. Do what pleases your heart. We can't decide for you.

Whichever way it ends, you're going to break the heart of someone. That's just the reality and try not to place too much thought on that.

 

[Thorninmyside]

I'm gonna say don't douche the pinoy girl around, especially if she's sweet and inexperienced. Totally goes against being the stud muffin with the plate list ethos and all, but at the end of the day, it's someone's daughter, someone's future wife, so don't smash her heart in a million pieces and damage her for another dude. Do what you wish, but be a gentle guy about it because as big and dreamy as her expectations are, you fed them along the way. And if you do meet her and she's the one for you, don't pvssy out because visa stuff can be a challenge. You seem to have a real position of strength in that relationship if it turns out to be a real thing, so if your feelings for her a real, make it happen.

The Japanese girl, I'd be more inclined to make sure that SHE knows that you have other options rather than the Filipino because it seems like she's the one feeling the physical void for you. Dunno. I've been smashed hard by lost online love, so I feel partial to the first girl. Very un DJ of me I know but still...

 

[abe0]

Let me get this straight....you have not met Filipino girl....but you know everything there is about her. If I am right....you need to get into the real world an date real women and not a fantasy woman you really know nothing about. I take Japanese.......Abe

 

[RomanticWolf]

Yeah it's a mess. Whenever I'm on a date with Japanese, Filipina keeps texting me so I gotta be careful whenever I pull my phone out to check the time. I always have like 10 messages on screen. The worst thing is I know one of them is gonna get hurt.

I know everything about Filipina. All her secrets. She knows mine too. Still learning about Japanese as we just started dating but she seems to be really find of me. She's always holding on to my arm when we are out. The thing is, it's Japanese girl who's here in real life, someone I can go see and touch and kiss. Filipina is far away and it's hard just to see her. It costs money, never gonna have much time together, and the future is sort of a question mark. Japanese girl can easily stay here. No visa problems with her. But yeah, I still thinking to go to HK and meet Filipina just to see who I'm meant to be with. Hate it. I know how it feels to be hurt by love.

 

[asa_don]

I'm betting this is a troll. If you are real , you never met the other woman so you don't know anything about her except for the persona she uses online. Spending that much time on someone you never met is stuipd.

 

[RomanticWolf]

I'm betting this is a troll. If you are real , you never met the other woman so you don't know anything about her except for the persona she uses online. Spending that much time on someone you never met is stuipd.

You bet wrong. Just because I never met her doesn't mean I don't know about her. We been talking every single day for a year. It's not like she's gonna be a completly different person in real life. I did spend a lot of time talking to her until I got a new job and now we talk less, also because of Japanese girl.

 

[asa_don]

You bet wrong. Just because I never met her doesn't mean I don't know about her. We been talking every single day for a year. It's not like she's gonna be a completly different person in real life. I did spend a lot of time talking to her until I got a new job and now we talk less, also because of Japanese girl.

Are you nuts? People can pose behind the internet and not even be the same person. I remember a similar poster as you who was writing and talking about the same stuff.

 

[RomanticWolf]

Are you nuts? People can pose behind the internet and not even be the same person. I remember a similar poster as you who was writing and talking about the same stuff.

Do you think I'm a retard? I said in my first post we have been on cam many many times and speak on the phone. Who's retarded enough to talk that long to a girl online and never see them. Lol.

 

[Nickface]

I'll be honest, I think many people have been through a similar situation at one time or another. I absolutely believe that the cam chick is real and would be the same way towards you offline. All this being said, you have to give the leverage more to the Japanese chick your seeing now. I think she takes precedent because you know what you have there and it's more of a guaranteed thing. It's hard to act the same way to both girls because in essence, it's like cheating in your mind.

Sure it would break one girls heart if you go one way but you have to look out for you first! I think it's impossible to keep up a relationship with both the girls so go with the chick you feel is more compatible and don't regret anything.

 

[JoeMarron]

And this is why you don't try to make a chick your girlfriend over the internet. It's too late to worry about hurt feelings now. Either pick one or string them both along like a typical woman would. Protip: pick the one you can touch, kiss, fvck etc.

 

[doctorj]

being Pinoy myself, I would be really wary of the Filipina...most girls that look for husbands/bf online are gold diggers. the fact that her visa got denied already sends red flags. anyone can act really sweet or be whoever online, I'd go with the Japanese girl on this one

 

[GS750]

Which one will be easier for you to maintain an ACTUAL relationship with? The choice is clear.

 

[RomanticWolf]

being Pinoy myself, I would be really wary of the Filipina...most girls that look for husbands/bf online are gold diggers. the fact that her visa got denied already sends red flags. anyone can act really sweet or be whoever online, I'd go with the Japanese girl on this one

I know where you're coming from. I heard about all that before. I can assure you she's not those kind of girls. She really is one of the good ones. She's not poor or anything either. Her dad owns a business and they live in a decent city/house. She always refuses to take money from me when I want to help with something (not that much money) so I know she's not a gold digger. That's why she got two jobs to save up for HK so we can meet. If I still want to that is. She's definitely more into all that lovey dovey stuff than Japanese (so far) - more of a deep feelings kind of girl. Not saying Japanese isn't either, she's always hanging on me but she's had boyfriends so there's experience. I'll just keep seeing Japanese for now and see what happens. I really can't choose yet. All I know is I'm enjoying seeing a girl in real life cause I'm a very affectionate guy so I hate not being able to touch and be with someone. We will see :/

 

[abe0]

You asked someone if he thought you were a retard....YES...there I said it!! How can anybody be stupid enough to believe everything they say on the phone and never has met them is beyond me....As far as you know it could be another guy on the other side...YOU KNOW NOTHING!!!!!!!
It is hard enough to get to know someone in the flesh and we all have been fooled by women let alone someone just based on texting and phone calls. Lord, DUDE, wake up....are you 13 yo?
Would you like to buy some beachfront property in Alaska...I heard the women in bikinis are great and the weather is hot.....
Someone, please, someone, knock some sense into this guy....is he real? Abe

 

[RomanticWolf]

You asked someone if he thought you were a retard....YES...there I said it!! How can anybody be stupid enough to believe everything they say on the phone and never has met them is beyond me....As far as you know it could be another guy on the other side...YOU KNOW NOTHING!!!!!!!
It is hard enough to get to know someone in the flesh and we all have been fooled by women let alone someone just based on texting and phone calls. Lord, DUDE, wake up....are you 13 yo?
Would you like to buy some beachfront property in Alaska...I heard the women in bikinis are great and the weather is hot.....
Someone, please, someone, knock some sense into this guy....is he real? Abe

I think you keep missing the part about seeingr her on cam and yes, naked. She's a she. Retard. I think I know what a female looks like.

 

[RomanticWolf]

Spoke to filipina girl today. I dunno where it came from, maybe guilt, but I told her how hard it would be for us to be together and that she needs to stop dreaming that we are already together before we met, well, she started crying and I almost did too.. She really loves me I can tell... She even asked if there was another girl and I said no, which now makes me feel even worst. Even after I said all that she's still okay with it. She's the type of girl who would never leave your side and be there for you until she dies. That's what she's like. It's just the damn distance that kills it. Never met a girl like her before. One of a kind.

If she was here in front of me I would choose her with no doubt. It's just that I'm really enjoying the Japanese company because I get to kiss and touch for real. She's also sweet and all but I think I have a deeper connection with Filipina. I don't think I'll stop seeing Japanese because it's been a long time since I had any sort of physical contact with a female (2 years now). So I would be kinda dumb to ditch her for someone I never met. God this really sucks and I feel like crap.

 

[abe0]

Pathetic...

 

[GS750]

I think you keep missing the part about seeingr her on cam and yes, naked. She's a she. Retard. I think I know what a female looks like.

I think what Abe was getting at is...you've never met this person in real life. Therefore, it isn't "really" real.