Most people are going to ignore your post Mark because, frankly, it's all been said before here and a simple site search here will show that. Do one.
..but, because I'm bored and feeling particularly generous towards you leaping into the Mature Man space and I sense you are quite inexperienced, here's my take:
Dating sites (I'm in Australia, plus I've got 20 years on you, so local and personal experience only - however, I believe all these sites exist in your country).
Oasis Active (totally FREE) – member for just on 4 weeks now, 6 women I'm actively talking to, have met 2 already in person (f23ked both, one has become a great FB). You need to go face to face as soon as possible. Chatting online for weeks is just a waste of both your time, and is only 5% of real attraction. Make noice with chit chat, or game, or whatever is working for you right now, get their cell number and start texting for a meetup. DO NOT persist with women who won't meet you - they are attention *****s and will want to just keep talking online. Not worth it - dump them immediately.
eHarmony (about AUS$30 a month) – This is a VERY involved process. It takes ages to get to meet anyone, and you cannot do your own searches – you are matched by a computer. Good for the ego – you'll get lots of matches each day. But getting out of the eHarm system and face to face with someone will take a month or more (my experience only). I agree the quality of people does seem generally higher, but you pay for it. If you're after an LTR, this would be my recommendation.
Zoosk (about AUS$20 a month) – just joined 2 weeks ago, but already talking to 3 women, met and F-closed one. The usual mix of liars and delusional – tread carefully here. It will cost you to do anything worthwhile (chat online, send messages etc). Winks generally are a waste of time on any site, like this one, unless you are that hot looking guy who can break through the chatter with your photo alone. Even then, you need to pay to start a conversation with anyone here. And thus, hooked.
Adultmatchmaker.com – expensive, and full of weirdos, IMHO. I never joined up because a cursory search of the members scared the living daylights out of me. Not a place for a nice fella to hang – but again, just my experience. If you love Golden Showers, fisting, or any kind of kink, you'll have found a home for it here. Go get 'em tiger!
Rules for ANY site:
(1) spice up your profile, no-one is taking notes, so keep it real, funny, and short/punchy. Make sure whatever you write is firmly tongue in cheek, with traces of your real ambition...such as "I will accept marriage proposals initially, but for you shy girls, a date with a few drinks will have to suffice". I'm not saying use that particular one! You can't manufacture these... it has to come from your own brand of natural humour.
(2) I don't care how you do it, but get a few great photos of yourself. Don't have bad, old ones photoshopped – get some REAL photos of you looking your best, taken recently. Doing something active, without sunglasses, so your eyes are clearly visible, will win the day. Do not have a glass in your hand, do not have a mate in the shot, do not have another woman of any kind, or your children should you have them, within 100 metres of you! SMILE. If you are a hot looking guy (you know if you are), some of these can be relaxed.
(3) learn how to spell, and use correct grammar. If this isn't your strong point, get someone else to check it for you. Stating your 'intelligent' and then misspelling it, will kill your chances faster than going to a job interview drunk and naked!
(4) Do not go on endlessly about your previous life, or even that much about what you do now. Certainly don't talk about separations/ex's/dogs/motorbikes/stamp collecting or any of that ****e. If you are living by yourself, and you don't have a partner, you are SINGLE. That's why you are on the site – so that's what you should state. See (1) – keep it upbeat! The smell of desperation is fatal in all cases.
(5) Do not be offended by rejection. Online dating means automatically wearing a rhinoceros hide into battle – you will get rejected by many women that you personally rate as 'perfect' for you. You'll probably get rejected by quite a few you rate well below too. This is a game, not an exact science. Have fun with it, take the good with the bad, and especially don't take it personally. Hot women on these sites may have MANY guys they are concurrently talking to. Rejecting your request may simply be a problem with numbers. Perhaps she is already dating (it doesn't take long). Or perhaps she's hooked up with an old flame in the meantime, who knows. Who cares?! Your job is to get out there, and keep pushing the Contact button until someone mutually agrees and lets you in. When that happens, you'll forget every rejection from before.
good luck (and use that Search button)
