re: scaring us away...
Just so you don't say you will move across the country for her, send her your phone #, private email, address, forward a copy of your resume, detail your sexual prowess/babble on about what a randy boy you are, talk about all your money, submit a list of your belongings like it is a prize list from Publisher's Clearing House (If I want a boat, I can get my own... what I'm looking for you can't buy me, you know?), or tell her how hot you think she is hot, all in your first email, you will already be different and profoundly less scary from 99% of the guys contacting her. (I am laughing as I write this - but am also quite serious).
Personally, I respond well when a man tells me he doesn't want to scare me/rush things, or move too fast, but when I am comfortable, he'd like to talk to me. It lets me know he will probably not be a bully when I meet him, but he also knows what he wants and is willing to go for it. It's that fine line between confidence and arrogance - and it shows me he is considerate about my feelings/comfort level. Then I can relax and start feeling good about meeting him/talking to him.
If he is too agressive about getting my number and I can't tell if he is just not "skilled", enthused, or if he is just a jerk, I tell him I want to meet him for coffee before I give him my number. (I guard my number, as it is). This is a test to see how handles being told "no" . If he is too pushy, or says he MUST have my phone number, than I feel he won't respect me in other ways.
And I have also offered to meet him in the process, so if he gets sidetracked with the "no" and can't hear the "yes", I know we won't be compatable because he is too focused on getting his way (with the number thing), rather than on the being of a relationship.