Online dating - When they send their phone number.

[SkrooU]

So i get roughly 5 numbers per week from pof alone. Usually within 5-30 messages. I never ask for a number. So I know they're interested. However, I generally don't like this because I feel it is an attempt to press me into a situation where they start monitoring whether I'm online still and therefore not taking them serious. Most people will interpret this as someone not being interested. It takes me several dates to know if I'm willing to put more specialized attention into any one person. And I'd rather give my number after 1-3 dates. I've tried saying this but usually women get butthurt about it, which I sort of understand but I think it's reasonable for me to do things this way.

So I'm wondering how you all handle this? Would you see this as a red flag? Either they're giving out their number too much and have a huge list of men at their beck and call or they are too fast too soon types that could have trust and jealousy issues.

This is usually my problem with OLD. I get too many options and can't make up my damn mind lol and then I need a break or get sucked into the wrong person because I'm trying to cut options.

 

[FwoGiZ]

Maybe I'm too old but how is texting instead of using pof app a bad thing? I always thought it was a better deal?

 

[guru1000]

5-30 messages? Seems like a waste of time--your most valuable resource--without knowing if they are physically attractive enough in person.

Why not just schedule dates within several messages, go on the date to see if you're physically compatible, then "talk."

 

[SkrooU]

5-30 messages? Seems like a waste of time--your most valuable resource--without knowing if they are physically attractive enough in person.

Why not just schedule dates within several messages, go on the date to see if you're physically compatible, then "talk."

I like to know they have a sense of humor. Takes a few messages. If they're close by I'll suggest meeting up the same day. Also don't have enough time to date all these people. But responding to a message takes only seconds.

 

[SkrooU]

Maybe I'm too old but how is texting instead of using pof app a bad thing? I always thought it was a better deal?

It's the same damn thing to me. Its texting through the app, but there's pictures and an indication whether they're online. Seems better to me as long as I stay logged in. I just sense that giving me their number is meant to get me away from other women on in the app. But then you gotta think they have given their number to other dudes. So kinda seems manipulative to me. If we have not even met or kissed then there is no reason I should not have my app open to talk to other women.

 

[FwoGiZ]

Oh I gotcha now... I think you are being paranoid...
If a girl would ever dare bring any of that, it be a huge nice easy flag; bail out... possessive dominant ahead.

 

[Daximus]

This is usually my problem with OLD. I get too many options and can't make up my damn mind lol and then I need a break or get sucked into the wrong person because I'm trying to cut options.

Exactly this! I usually end up with about 5 numbers a week too but I actually do the opposite and if after 3 messages they don't come across as crazy I'll suggest we chat off of POF and see if they offer up a number. I hate chatting on POF and once I have the number I'll start fixing to meet! Trouble is I end up with 10+ girls who want to chat at the same time and I often drop the ball! It's not the best strategy lol!